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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Just need a few other opinions on teachers' comment to boy...

331 replies

LadyOfTheFlowers · 04/10/2013 17:45

DS2 has long hair. About 3 inches below his collar, shorter towards front - can tuck behind his ears.
For PE it was requested he had a sweatband. I bought 2 he lost them, I forgot about it over summer.
PE has resumed and the PE teacher got mad, telling him 'If you don't have a sweatband next lesson I will cut your hair off!'
Now the boy is 7 and truly believes his mad PE teacher might chop his hair off.
It is my fault he doesn't have a sweatband. Why didn't he shout at me? I see him around school enough.
I am annoyed. DH is seething.
AIBU to want to complain? How do I address this?
Apart from get the sweatbands this weekend obviously.

OP posts:
SayMyNameSayIt · 05/10/2013 00:06

mumsyblouse
I couldn't have said it better myself.
Wish there were more parents like you.

Opalite · 05/10/2013 00:09

SayMyNameSayIt why do you want to apply gender stereotypes to your kids? Genuinely curious

SayMyNameSayIt · 05/10/2013 00:11

Usualsuspect

Long hair on boys looks stupid. IMO. Said it a while back, stand by it now. My personal opinion, however.

usualsuspect · 05/10/2013 00:23

Your opinion is stupid.

HavantGuard · 05/10/2013 00:24
Grin
usualsuspect · 05/10/2013 00:25

Imo

olgaga · 05/10/2013 01:25

I think you should have apologised to your son for failing to send him to school properly equipped. If you want him to have long hair you could at least make sure he knows to tie it back like the girls have to.

Throughout DDs junior years there were always one or two boys with long hair in each year. Everyone was polite enough about it but my DD would occasionally talk about the comments made by other kids, which could be quite comical - such as the boy with long blonde curls who would be called Shaun (the Sheep).

The PE teachers always had plenty of pink ponybands to hand out if anyone forgot theirs.

By the time they moved to secondary school they all had their hair short, presumably having had enough of the humiliation, and finally old enough to insist on a haircut..

Nobody blamed the kids for their wayward hair, they would occasionally wonder why the parents would put their kids through that experience.

SatinSandals · 05/10/2013 07:21

OP should take note of Mumsybblouse's common sense approach.

whoop · 05/10/2013 07:57

Op should make sure her child had correct stuff for school, including pe kit, lunch, drink, school bag, correct uniform etc. She shold also ensure on PE days he has his hair up. It's not rocket science.

Yes the PE teacher shouldn't of said that.
Mum or Dad should have made sure child was equipt for school.

frumpypigskin · 05/10/2013 08:02

You're being far too precious. Get a grip and a hairband.

Weeditandreap · 05/10/2013 08:09

Mumsyblouse - the voice of reason.

Fgs OP do your son a favour and cut his hair.

MissMalonex2 · 05/10/2013 08:25

My daughter's hair is that long - she would love to wear it down for school but is not allowed. I don't get why your son doesn't have his hair tied up for school and only has to wear a sweatband for PE? Or does the same rule apply for the girls?

kim147 · 05/10/2013 08:38

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

PenelopePitstops · 05/10/2013 09:00

How many times OP.... THE COMMENT WAS A JOKE!
Lighthearted yet got the message across. Sort your kids hair.

marriedinwhiteisbackz · 05/10/2013 09:06

FGS. A sweat band was part of the boy's uniform for PE. He was sent to school without it for four weeks. The teacher was at the end of his or her tether. At my DC's schools a letter would have been sent home after week 2 and at week 3 the child would have been sent home until he was sent in with the proper kit/uniform.

When people complain about dc having to put up with bad and dysfunctional behaviour the Mnet message is that's part of life. Well having someone call you out brusquely is also part of life. I've more time for the teacher who was dealing with persistent non compliance than I have for the children who are persistently non compliant.

Ilovemyself · 05/10/2013 09:14

Wow Penelopepitstop. I didn't realise you were there so can be sure it was a joke.

And isn't that a line bullies use when caught threatening - I was only joking.

olgaga · 05/10/2013 09:25

Kim read my post again will you. You've got it completely ass-upwards with the junior/secondary school context.

Point remains that OP is BU. Any child with long hair has to have it tied back for most of the time at school.

You might like long hair on boys but don't expect everyone to like it - especially when the rules are that it has to be tied back.

And what's wrong with pink ponybands anyway? Grin

spanky2 · 05/10/2013 09:29

Isn't it fashionable for long hair on boys ? Been there first time around in the 90s!

usualsuspect · 05/10/2013 09:30

The OP asked for opinions on the teachers comment.

Not a load of sexist comments about boys with long hair.

And as for schools humiliating boys with long hair,words fail me.

5madthings · 05/10/2013 09:31

the teacher probably was joking or maybe they said it in a really exasperated, pissed off tone and so it didnt sound jokey? no-one can no bevause they werent there.

ultimately if this was my son i would just make sure he had headbands/hair bobbles in future! and explain to him that perhaps the teacher was joking. i would also apologise to a 7yr old as it is your fault that you didnt send him with appropriate kit.

my ds1 (14) has long hair, really long, much longer than ops son. he always keeps some hair bobbles on his wrist and in his bag so he can tie it up for pe, science, technology and any more practical lessons where he needs to.

its his hair, as long as he washes it and brushes it and ties it back when necessary he can do what he likes with it. thankfully i dont seem to live near any of the idiots on here who think boys shouldnt have long hair! he has never been picked on or called names because of it.

my four boys have all gone through periods of having long or middling length hair and ds2s is now very short. ds3 and ds4s varies,depending on what they want.

they dont look like 'girls' not that there is anythinh wrong in looking feminine anyway.

pathetic judgemental attitudes expressed towards a childs hair on this thread, some peoole are just being nasty for the sake of it.

Hulababy · 05/10/2013 09:40

Was he really cross and shouting or was it said as a joke? If former than regardless of reason it was inappropriate and not very professional.

If latter - well, I see no issue tbh. A child of 7, unless has sen, can usually take a joke ime. I told a 6y boy this week his hand might fall off as he'd do e so much writing - clearly a joke and taken That way. Happens all the time.

Also he need a to have his hair tied or held back. In my school that would be all the time, for for girls and boys with longer hair. Not just pe. With practise at home he would be able to drag it back to a pony tail be himself. It doesn't need to be tidy if just for pe. Else tie it back in a morning for him.

spanky2 · 05/10/2013 09:44

We have talked about this while eating breakfast. We have decided that boys should be allowed to choose their own hair styles . Ds1 long hair aged 9 and Ds2 aged 6 who is growing his hair . Tying hair back is sensible . A lot of sexist attitudes out there.

YouTheCat · 05/10/2013 10:00

Have I walked into the Daily Mail lounge area by mistake? Confused

There is nothing wrong with people having their hair how long they want it. So long as OP gets her child sorted with hairbands for PE, I can't see the problem. And I think the PE teacher is a knobend and should have spoken or written to the OP.

ebwy · 05/10/2013 10:21

If I were to comment "boys with short hair look like thugs" it would be wrong, yes? Other people's hair length is their business, not anyone else's.

And it isn't related to what genitals they have.

Tying it up for certain lessons is just what you do if it's long.
I would have been told to tie it back and offered an elastic band to use, I expect the same for my children as it's a safety issue.

aderynlas · 05/10/2013 10:27

Teachers cant write to every parent whose child constantly forgets something for pe. There would be no time for lessons. Let your son have his hair long but also remind him he has to take his hairband to lessons.

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