On a scale from 1-10 how unreasonable is my husband?

[QuintessentialShadows]

With 1 being not at all unreasonable and 10 being extremely?

I am going away for a week. Leaving tomorrow 6am.
I work part time, he works full time (but can be flexible) and long hours. He often go back to his study and work from 9 pm till midnight after the kids have gone to bed. Usually he finishes work at 6pm, so he has a 3 hour break then.

He just said "I will really catch up on work and get ahead while you are away."

Really?

I said to him "Do you really think that me being out of the house will allow you to get more work done when you have to pick up ds2 from school at 3.15, cook their dinners, clean up, take ds2 for his activities, do all their laundry, ensure their homework is done, that they have what they need in their pe kit bags, swimming bags, etc?"

His reply?

"Sure, I will just work an extra hour in the evening. Will be fine."

I just took him out to the garden and told him I was really fed up with the good old passionflower climber that is blocking the light and killing the Lilac, so if he could manage to cut it all down and bin it while I am gone, I would really appreciate it. And so would the garden gnome.

On the plus side, I have discovered we have sweetcorn growing in the garden.

Must be from the bird feeder?

Oh another thought......have you spoken to his/your mum and found out their plans for the week?

His mum is overseas, and not able to travel.
My mum is in a care home. We don't really have much family, especially not in the uk. There is an elderly aunt though....

So he really is on his own then?

Jolly good!

Waiting til next weekend is going to be like waiting for Xmas when you are 6!

I will put the key in the lock with baited breath I think!

Please post and let us know how he gets on!
(Secretly rooting for Quints DH to pull it out of the bag..)

I will definitely update.

I am also hoping he will pull it through, and realize that I am not just sitting on my bum all day.

1. Not unreasonable.

I get more done when dh is away, we both work full time. Pick up kids , do the evening, kids to bed, cook tomorrows dinner, then i can work till all hours if required.

I think you should post just before you get back with his version of events that you will have gleaned from his phone calls (they will happen!) and then reality after you have seen it!

"Where is the carpet cleaner?"
"You mean the hoover?"
"No, that thing that washes the carpets"
"Why do you need it?"
"Just thought I would clean the carpet, while I have the time. Where is it?"
"No really, whats happened?"
"NOTHING! Where is it?!"
"I hired it. Why does the carpet need cleaning?"
"It doesnt need cleaning, just though I would do it. Where did you hire it from"
"Just leave it, it wont need doing again for another couple of months"
"(false laughing) nooooo! might as well make the most of the time. Did you get it from B&Q?"
"Yes. Are you sure everything is ok?"
"Yes, everythings FINE! Dont know what you make such a fuss about!"

:o:o:o

5

1

He is a grown adult, it's not hard.

Bogeyface, that sounds a bit like when I accidentally poured 1 l milk through the passenger seat in the car....

Not unreasonable, but more than a bit unrealistic.

This really cheered me up, especially the PTA meeting with dc:)

I left dh with the dc and flew to the UK to see my sick dm. Got totally lost trying to find the school, said his mind went blank, and he panicked so much he couldn't work the sat nav either.

So, no school. Dc spent all day watching disney and having pizza, and " it was better, as they didn't miss you"

Then its the weekend. He roped in a friend, and they went out with the dc all day, ending with swimming as that took care of bedtime. Then he cooked - he can cook- and tv til they fall asleep. Repeat for third day.

Then I came home. He said he couldn't see what all the fuss was about.

I had already booked a cleaner to come Monday ( thinking ahead:)

Oh dear.
I'm going against the grain here
but when DH is away, I stack up the work for those evenings as going to a cold dark bedroom is no fun so I tend to work till about 2am, drink nothing as I'm on my own and get SHED loads done!

Typical MN...

If wife is alone then yes she will definitely get more done.

If husband is alone then if HE thinks he'll get more done then he is delusional, expects fairies, you will come back to a bombsite etc hahaha

When I work full time DH builds me robots and automata (outs self) : luff him.
When he comes home after a week away he trashes the house in 30 seconds flat - luff him lots

thepig, it is because, believe it or not, I know my husband.

(As I suppose the posters here know theirs...)

thepig

Thats because most of us have seen it first hand, and those of us who have been on the receiving end of "What exactly do you do all day?" find it rather amusing that the asker will soon get his answer.

My house would be a scene of utter devastation if DP and kids were left to their own devices all week. They would be well fed and quite happy but I doubt useful things like laundry or cleaning toilets would be done.
DP goes away for a week - house is like a show home.
But it's not always the case - my Granddad used to like to stay at home when my Nan went on holiday with sundry Aunts, Uncles. etc as he would give the place a proper clean and tidy. Nan was a slattern, Grandad kept a very clean and tidy house.

I went away for my first week of uni and returned to a house slightly tidier than I left it, kids happy and cared for and a DP who really always has had more of a clue about who is doing what and when than I ever have!

Good luck OP, hope things work well, either by him surprising you and you returning to an immaculate house, but also realising how hard you work or by him failing miserably and realising how much you do!

10
He doesn't know what's coming does he. I would sit back and enjoy;)

You know your DH, Quint!

Dp would be fine - has been fine. He is 50% of our household effort and fully capable.

The only thing is DS may not eat much fruit and veg during the week as he would if I were on duty.

And he might have fallen for some ridiculous cold caller. I have come back and found that he has signed us up for a very expensive burglar alarm, agreed to a nonsensical 'side wall condition survey' and signed up to a regular 'fresh fish' delivery from an unmarked white van selling an overpriced and rather random selection of frozen fish. Oh and there was the doorstep purchase of two small bad quality tea towels, a bargain at £5.

Come to think of it my main fear would be coming home to find that they are Jehovah's Witnesses.

Well, it will all be reveled tomorrow....

He did not have time to talk to me today, he was on his way to the PTA thing.

I told him, "please ensure it is nice and tidy for tomorrow as X &Y and their kids are coming for dinner".

He said breezily "yeah, sure" in a way I know means "yeah right...."

Any updates yet?