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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really offended...

33 replies

welshinexile · 03/10/2013 23:34

I am embarrassed to be offended by this but I really was!

My 6 year old has a little gang of school mates and we rotate tea & play. Was organising play dates and its my turn to have the gang of 4 mates for tea. One of the kids said to me and another Mum immediately that he wouldnt come for tea if it was at my house!

Am offended!! WTF is wrong with my house?! Kids are horrible!

OP posts:
SupermansBigRedBottleOfSpirits · 03/10/2013 23:39

I'd not be happy either! Cheeky beggar Grin at that age they are all mouth I know my nephew is, don't take offence.

Wolfiefan · 03/10/2013 23:41

Do you have a pet the child is scared of?
Is it a long way to walk?
Or is this a cheeky sod you'll never invite again?!?!

Original poster
welshinexile · 03/10/2013 23:46

The kid hates sweetcorn. There are possibilities.

OP posts:
Wonderstuff · 03/10/2013 23:47

My niece makes comments on my housekeeping when she comes round. "Aunty Wonder why haven't you cleared the breakfast table, why didn't you finish the laundry before I came round, have you seen how messy baby wonders room is?' Pisses me right off!

YANBU

Wonderstuff · 03/10/2013 23:49

They just say what they think though I guess, at some point we learn to lie consider others before we talk. Wonder what age that is?

Wolfiefan · 03/10/2013 23:50

I would have said "that's ok. You weren't invited!"
Wonder. Tell your niece you've saved those jobs for her as you know she's such a helpful and polite child!

Original poster
welshinexile · 03/10/2013 23:54

The other mum gave me a 'ooh, thats embarrassing' kind of look! Which made me feel even more mortified! The little sh!t!

OP posts:
ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 03/10/2013 23:57

Did you ask him why not?

I would have just said 'Oh that's a shame - why's that then?'

Original poster
welshinexile · 04/10/2013 00:01

I didnt ask why not but wish I had- I think I was too shockef/ embarrassed!!

OP posts:
BrianTheMole · 04/10/2013 00:05

I'd have said, oooh, you're not coming? Never mind. All the more ice-cream for everyone else then.

Lottystar · 04/10/2013 01:07

I'd feel offended too - not so much for myself but sad for my little one. Why would this playmate not want to come over and spend time with their friend?It is probably nothing and the kid in question is probably 'just being a kid ' and needs a lesson or two in good manners but perhaps gently ask your child if their friends enjoy coming over to play and what they'd like to do on the play date? If your child seems happy, that's all that really matters Smile

ShakeRattleNRoll · 04/10/2013 01:09

Did he give a reason like smell or untidiness or lack of food or just rubbish food.Why doesn't he like your place? What did he say?

BillyBanter · 04/10/2013 01:30

I couldn't have asked. What if he'd said in front of everyone 'because auntie Billy has the smelliest farts' or 'she's always picker her nose' or 'her house stinks'.

Who knows what it might be about your house that offends a 6 yr old boy.

Hoojimiflip · 04/10/2013 01:38

Are you more strict/do you have higher standards than the other parents? Conversely is your home untidier than others? Has he visited before? Did you provide snacks which he didn't enjoy? Or is he just a selfish, ill mannered little so-and-so?!? I've had children visit who I'd happily never see again but I've also been to a house that I'd prefer not to let my children visit again. I had a little boy (4?) tell me once that my party bags weren't very good Grin

Original poster
welshinexile · 04/10/2013 07:14

Our house is small & messy so maybe the kid doesnt like that. I am upset for my DS though as he heard his 'friend' say this. I have always wondered if this boy actually likes my son but as my son has asked to have him round, I have gone with that. My son is a very emotional little boy and this child is the opposite so maybe they aren't very compatible. Am still upset about it though.

OP posts:
CoffeeTea103 · 04/10/2013 07:53

Sorry at 6 that is rude. I know plenty of kids who do not say things like that, lack of manners.

shellbot · 04/10/2013 09:34

I wouldn't worry as it might not be anything to do with your house. As others have said it could be any number of things.

I know what you mean though. One of ds friends (7 at the time) called my car old and silly looking. I was gutted but slightly relieved as for a minute I thought he meant me! Although he might have had a point Grin

treas · 04/10/2013 09:45

Oh he definitely deserved a "Did you mean to be so rude"Grin

MummyPig24 · 04/10/2013 09:47

Did you ask him why he wouldn't come? Cheeky little thing!

FunnyRunner · 04/10/2013 09:56

Best thing is probably to calmly say, 'Why is that, little shit Jimmy?' in a kindly tone. And then explain that it is his choice whether he comes or not.

But I appreciate that you were caught on the hop. It's all very well thinking these lines up after the fact isn't it?!

FWIW I am / was quite an emotional person too but I had one friend who didn't like my house 'because there were crumbs on the table' and I was Hmm rather than upset. My mother was no domestic goddess to be fair. But seriously, they were crumbs, not killer bees.

WahIzzit · 04/10/2013 10:09

Aw yanbu

I am rather sensitive like this too, and get upset/embarrassed. Kids speak their mind, say irrational things too. But he may well say he doesn't want to go to your house one day, and be quite happy to go the next. Kids are strange little creatures Grin

A cousin has a ds who always speaks his mind, even now at 11 he has no 'control switch' or proper awareness of what's inappropriate to say. I always cringe when he tries speaking to me in a room full of people, as he comes out with some rubbish or another to make one feel embarrassed. (Things like 'why does that old woman have a moustache' in a VERY loud voice. 'Urgh you have so many spots' 'How old are you? You look about 50' to a 30 year old.

WahIzzit · 04/10/2013 10:12

Haha 'make one feel embarrassed' Grin meant make me feel embarrassed. Not a posh person at all

DeWe · 04/10/2013 10:12

I don't think that's a big deal in a 6yo. At that age something quite small can set them off.
I had a friend's house I hated going to straight from school because they ate really late. We usually ate about 5:00, they ate at 8:00. I would always come back feeling migrainy and sick. I eventually used to take some biscuits and eat them in the toilet when they didn't know. Looking back, I should have said something, and I'm sure they would have happily got me a snack and, probably even felt embarrassed that they hadn't offered. But at that age, I didn't have the confidence to ask.

I would have asked why, and tried to resolve it though.

spongebob13 · 04/10/2013 10:18

my 5 year old niece was holding my hands and swinging off me and being affectionate and then said with a smile "why are you so fat"? I wanted to smack her. I just said " I don't know pet, ask you mum she will know!". she happily skipped over to her mum (who is lovely but also very slim and beautiful) and saw he smile, lean down to her daughter, then looked horrified and put her in the car then mouthed sorry. I waved at her in a "its ok" sort of wave then turned and smiled smugly to myself.

Original poster
welshinexile · 04/10/2013 10:35

I need to say to the mum that i have offered to have them all over for tea- should I mention to her that her child said he didnt want to come?

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