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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to not understand why you would put naked photos of your dcs on FB?

129 replies

mrsgremola · 03/10/2013 19:02

That's it really.Ex work mate regularly posts pics on holiday, in the summer, of DD trying on mummy's clothes. She is 4. Completely fully naked pics where you can see everything.

I might get flamed, I know there aren't paedos on every corner but why on earth would anyone put naked photos of their children on Facebook? I wouldn't do it.

Also, and I know I am a cow, I don't particularly want to see pics of her daughter naked. Which is why I have hidden her.

OP posts:
pigletmania · 04/10/2013 22:46

Feeling uncomfortable about seeing naked pictures of children on Facebook has nothing to do with finding naked children shameful Hmm.

herethereandeverywhere · 04/10/2013 23:11

Lagertops and Pigletmania the point that I am making is that children are different to adults. They have no reason to be ashamed or fearful of their naked bodies and as a parent I support this completely natural part of childhood.

I would propose that you both risk appearing to be projecting adult norms onto children - just as paedophiles do in respect of sexual behaviour. There is nothing sexually provocative about a naked child, ergo there is nothing wrong with an image of a naked child.

As an aside I also wouldn't put pictures of me on the internet in a Xmas pudding outfit or with my entire face smeared with mashed butternut squash - should I withhold those images too?

peasandlove · 04/10/2013 23:15

you should never do anything on the internet without remembering it will be there forever. I've found websites I made in the 90's still saved in archives, photos I sent to mates of my pierced nipples Blush again when I was much younger, are still out there. Facebook is probably one of the least private places on the whole internet. Your kid's wont thank you as that's their future

herethereandeverywhere · 04/10/2013 23:21

peasandlove I refer you to my earlier comments re: my children knowing what's important in life. It is my job to impart that. Images of them naked in a paddling pool are not going to prevent them from getting jobs in future. It might make them cringe for a bit, it might not. It's really not a big thing. After all they were just kids having innocent fun.

peasandlove · 04/10/2013 23:22

ok how would you feel if you found out a stranger had saved a pic of your child that you put up?

pigletmania · 04/10/2013 23:32

Here I am not saying tat naked Chidren are shameful, my children do not have a clue if I've put naked pictures of them on Facebook or not, tey are 6 and 20 months so no negativity is being projected onto them. They see me coming from the shower naked, they run round the garden naked, no body issues there. just because I don't put asked pictures f theming Facebook, does nt mean they willed up with a eative view of their body. Just as much I respect my privacy, I respect theirs, after all would you put a picture of your naked child on a billboard, probably not, Facebook is nodifferent!

herethereandeverywhere · 04/10/2013 23:32

I'd think that saving anyone else's pictures, whether you know the person who owns them, or is in them, or not is not normal. I'd think that whether it was a picture of my child naked at one week old or in their nativity outfit at 5.

Morloth · 04/10/2013 23:32

I don't really view my children as 'mine', I view them as their own.

This is one of the reasons there are hardly any photos at all of them on the Internet and none that we personally have put up. I don't mind them in background shots etc.

It will be their decision as to how 'exposed' they are to the world. I can't know how they will feel about it in the future so it seems a better option to go with little to no exposure.

DH and I are very private people so it is possible the DCs will be the same. DS2 doesn't like his photo taken at all.

MmmmWhiteWine · 04/10/2013 23:33

How would the stranger get the picture if you've set your privacy options correctly?

pigletmania · 04/10/2013 23:34

Meant to say just because I don't put naked pictures of them on Facebook, does not mean they will have a negative view oftheir body

MistressDeeCee · 04/10/2013 23:35

Defending to the hilt the right to put naked kids up on the internet, especially in this day & age, just seems strange. No doubt if someone saved a pic of your naked child you'd be up in arms, but what the eye doesnt see the heart doesnt grieve over I guess. After all if that were ever to occur then the person could say its an innocent pic and they liked it. I actually hope FB ban pics of naked children, to stop people hungry for recognition putting up any & everything they feel like. Ive also seen photoshopped pics of children on there too. Children in hospital..the whole thing is weird I fail to see why its a necessity. FB is for adults. Having photos in your photo album is 1 thing, on the world wide web is another. It amuses me when people say FB is private. Of course it isnt. & you also dont know who is looking at another's FB page anyway.

Yes, children can be in danger at any other time. Such a thing as minimising risk though. Children are beautiful...their nakedness isnt to be touted on social media. Adults can and should tout themselves if they want to and feel that strongly about it. Leave children out of it.

pigletmania · 04/10/2013 23:37

Privacy settings on Facebook ar not 100%, tey are not watertight

peasandlove · 04/10/2013 23:39

you're trusting facebook to keep your pictures private. I'm just asking hypothetically. I'm not comfortable with it. You dont even know that one of your facebook friends wouldnt save a pic, stranger things have happened. You cant predict what's going to happen with the internet in a few years time.

MmmmWhiteWine · 04/10/2013 23:45

So you keep saying but please give us an example. I only have RL friends on FB and I know they could save and use any photos I put up....but then again these same people could steal photos when they come to my house too. So who am I meant to be scared of?

Dobbiesmum · 04/10/2013 23:48

Naked children are healthy and beautiful, I would never argue against that. However I don't think that you have the right to post pictures of them with no clothes on without their consent. If they're old enough to give that consent then knock yourself out as long as they're fully aware of the embarrassment risk in the future. It's their feelings you're messing with.

peasandlove · 04/10/2013 23:50

you have no idea what facebook will do in the future, but those pics will still be there regardless. You're not supposed to be 'scared' of anything.

herethereandeverywhere · 04/10/2013 23:54

MistressDC "Touting their nakedness" I have a real issue with describing the images in such a way. My fb page of my life with my kids which I choose to share with certain people (and risk the FB settings meaning the whole world could see them if they were bothered) - it's a microcosm of my real life with my kids. I don't tout my children to anyone in any form. And anyone 'hungry for recognition' would have to be, misguided or rather simple to think their insignificant pile of pap typed in and attached to facebook was going to provide that. I'm afraid your observation re: 'photoshopped images of children...in hospital' is lost on me - I've never experienced this so can't comment.

I find peoples opinions of and reactions to photographs since the growth of the internet over the last 20 years 'strange'. Several people have offered several different views on why naked pictures of my kids on facebook might not be a good idea but no-one has given me a convincing argument - 'just seems strange' is hardly going to bowl anyone over.

You still haven't explained why not posting such pictures "minimis[es] risk" because you haven't explained what the risk is. WHAT AM I RISKING? (Lagertops suggested I was risking my children spontaneously pulling their pants down in inappropriate places but I dealt with that point. Pigletmania suggested I'm risking embarrassing them, which I also dealt with.)

MmmmWhiteWine · 04/10/2013 23:55

Just for the record although I do put photos of my girls on FB none of them are naked photos. But I'm still at a loss as to what you think FB might do with these photos in the future? Perhaps if you could articulate what you fear may happen it might help me understand where you're coming from.

herethereandeverywhere · 05/10/2013 00:04

MMmmm I'm interested in seeing an answer to that point too.

Dobbiesmum I just googled "newborn photographer" and got lots of images of children with no clothes on - is that any different to those on my facebook page?

peasandlove · 05/10/2013 00:12

I'm not going to speculate that facebook is going to get hacked and your pics stolen or anything else as what's the point. In 10yrs time your child will probably be putting their own pics up there, as will mine, so I guess it's whatever you feel comfortable doing now while they are young as you're the parent.

herethereandeverywhere · 05/10/2013 00:12

Gah, am on the edge of my seat for an answer - to exactly what it is I'm risking - and I'm going to have to go to bed.

Will hopefully check back tomorrow. Night all.

MistressDeeCee · 05/10/2013 00:13

herethereandeverywhere FB is full of images. Theyre out there not in someone's private photo album at home so theyre going to be commented on. Yes, people are simple enough to use FB as a platform to fling up the minutae of their lives and I cant see what it is, but seeking recognition. Although if they want to do that then thats fine, its the denial of it I find curious.

I think the April Jones case summed up innocent FB images being seen as innocent by parents, but not by predators. That sicko kept all her pics. I may be assuming things re. possible predators, but its no worse at all than assuming nobody is.

herethereandeverywhere · 05/10/2013 00:13

So what if my pics are stolen - on my phone when it's snatched out of my hand - then what?

pigletmania · 05/10/2013 08:16

That's less likely to happen here

herethereandeverywhere · 05/10/2013 08:35

But MistressGC are you saying that the April Jones case would not have happened had those images not been on facebook? Was his keeping those images any different to keeping real photographs or even memories in his head?

As I said upthread, the problem lies with the mind of the "sicko", not the photograph - if the photograph is at fault why don't we ban photography and videoing altogether? If cameras were illegal would that make children safer?