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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be utterly fucking fuming?

63 replies

EricNorthmansFangbanger · 29/09/2013 07:59

H went out last night with work. He came in at 10.45pm, which was quite early for him. The state he came home in is what I'm so angry about. He was incoherent, couldn't stand up straight and stumbling everywhere. He woke up 7 month old DS trying to get in the house.

I had to go down to let him in. When he came in he banged about until he reached the couch and instantly began snoring. I came back upstairs, tried to settle DS. H then comes stumbling upstairs, tries to get on the bed and then falls off. When he eventually manages to get on the bed, he falls straight asleep. It took me almost 2 hours to settle DS.

Around 2.30am, H woke and stumbled around the bedroom. I asked him what he was doing and he told me he needed a wee. I told him to go to the toilet. He then pulled a bucket of clean washing, that I'd not had a chance to put away yet, to the landing and proceeded to piss in it Angry Jumped out of bed and asked what he thought he was doing. He started shouting incoherent rubbish, with the odd swear word, picked up the bucket and threw it in the bathroom. Stumbles to toilet to finish his wee and stumbles back again. As soon as his head hits the pillow he started snoring again.

In the course of this, DS woke up and it took me over 2 hours to settle him. H woke at 7am and seems more 'with it', but obviously still pissed. DD1 has her very first swimming lesson at 9.30am and I'm meant to be leaving DD2 and DS here with H. I don't feel I can leave them here with him and I can't really take them with me, as not only will there not be enough room, DD2 will kick off big time if she sees the water. I don't know what to do with regards to this, whether to not go this week, but DD1 will be absolutely devastated if we don't go.

H knew that he had to look after DD2 and DS this morning and still chose to get absolutely leathered. I am tired and beyond annoyed at him. AIBU?

OP posts:
Finola1step · 29/09/2013 08:25

X post. As he is still pissed, do not leave dd2 with him. All go and he can look after dd2 with you nearby.

Original poster
EricNorthmansFangbanger · 29/09/2013 08:25

The swimming lessons take place at a pool, which is at a local school. It's a really small place and they specifically tell you that there's only room for one parent to come, as you are pool side whilst there. There isn't a proper viewing area if that makes sense.

OP posts:
lunar1 · 29/09/2013 08:25

I wouldn't leave my children with him in this state.

MrsHoratioNelson · 29/09/2013 08:27

Every time we have one of these threads I am astonished at the number of supposed grown ups who think its OK to go out and get absolutely paralytic. Don't get me wrong, I've done it myself but surely having kids is the watershed when this sort of thing stops or, at the very least, gets tones down?

Anyway, I'm glad that you have made a decision to take your DD swimming, it's not fair on her (and the other DCs) to miss out because their father can't hold his drink.

I think that ought to be the thrust of any discussion with DH about this episode.

beepoff · 29/09/2013 08:27

I doubt he got spiked. Much more likely he drank quickly on an empty stomach. Starting at 5.30 he could have easily put away 6 pints or two bottles of wine.

catgirl1976 · 29/09/2013 08:28

Ah sorry - I thought he was just hungover

If he is still pissed obviously you can't leave them with him

How much has he drunk to have been home that early and still be drunk now?

SanityClause · 29/09/2013 08:29

I would be very concerned about leaving the DC with him, actually.

Wake him at 8:30, and see what his mental state is. Will he be capable of looking after them for the hour and a half (?) you are out.

Also, make sure he re-washes the clothes he pissed on. And show your contempt for that! It's one thing to go out and have fun, and 10:45 isn't late to come in, if it's not otherwise inconvenient, but to be so disruptive and incapable is just contemptible.

Ham69 · 29/09/2013 08:30

Poor you OP. he owes you

Ham69 · 29/09/2013 08:38

Posted too soon dam phone. He owes you one hell of an apology when he sobers up. Take the younger one if you feel uncomfortable leaving her with him but don't miss swimming. I know you're angry right now but you can dine out on this story for years to come and totally embarrass him. I would and have done. Like the time my DH was so pissed that he fell down the stairs on way to bathroom and pissed himself at the bottom. Not funny at time but oh how I've laughed since (at his expense in front of neighbours, etc). Good luck and take the opportunity today to buy yourself some treats online after your ordeal.

Original poster
EricNorthmansFangbanger · 29/09/2013 08:40

I'm definitely taking DD1 swimming. She isn't missing out because of him. I have a double pram, so could arguably take both DS and DD2 with me. The swimming lessons are about a 10 minute walk from our house and the lesson will be 30 minutes. He's been awake since 7 and is currently lying on the couch with a duvet. Seems to not be so giggly now. He can put quite a lot of drink away, but I still didn't expect him to roll in in that state.

OP posts:
Altinkum · 29/09/2013 08:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
EricNorthmansFangbanger · 29/09/2013 08:44

Ham, you reminded me of a few years back when he lived with friends in our house before I moved in. There was no bannister back then and he had been on a rugby night out. He was trying to go upstairs, fell over the side half way up and left a huge dent in the radiator in the hall.

OP posts:
LindyHemming · 29/09/2013 08:48

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Ham69 · 29/09/2013 08:48

It's good to know they learn their lesson, isn't it Grin

Chippednailvarnish · 29/09/2013 08:49

He sounds a right catch. He clearly has a binge drinking problem, the swimming lesson is a minor inconvenience in comparison.

Rooners · 29/09/2013 08:53

It sounds like he took something to me.

anon2013 · 29/09/2013 09:16

YANBU most guys have one night like this, shame him with exactly what he did (an ex decided to open a wardrobe and have a wee in it ffs!) and I'll doubt it'll happen again!.

Leave the kids with him 100%

CaptainSweatPants · 29/09/2013 09:25

Take them all to swimming
You'll be fine :)

anon2013 · 29/09/2013 13:23

so what did you do OP?

valiumredhead · 29/09/2013 13:28

Dear God that is revolting.

GnocchiGnocchiWhosThere · 29/09/2013 13:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

OodAlpha · 29/09/2013 13:47

Is he sober yet OP?

oldgrandmama · 29/09/2013 13:53

Worrying. Are you sure he didn't take, intentionally or unintentionally, some 'pharmaceutical'? The 'giggling' etc. this morning sound weird.

ChippingInNeedsSleepAndCoffee · 29/09/2013 13:53

It sounds like he either had his drink spiked or took something.

What did you end up doing?

I'd have either taken them all or pretended to DD1 that swimming had to be cancelled (at the pool like that near us, it's sometimes cancelled if another group needs to use it - so not uncommon).

I hope he has done the washing again and has apologised by now.

Thumbwitch · 29/09/2013 13:54

I am glad that you decided to take DD1 to swimming, and that you also decided to take the other 2 with you.

I'm all in favour of leaving small children in the charge of hungover parents, but not still-drunk ones, it's just too risky as you realised.

However - his hangover should have started to kick in by now - so it's time to let him play with the 2yo Grin. And as for the pissy washing, well - I think I'd probably pick out anything of his and leave it for him to deal with, but rewash the rest myself. [petty]

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