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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think grown men and women should be to control their potty mouths....

37 replies

Pigeonpair1 · 28/09/2013 19:15

...... in the family stand at football matches?

I've been to enough games to know that emotions run high and that it goes with the territory but was still amazed today that men and women in the Family Stand were screaming the F&C words when surrounded by children (some of them had their own kids with them!).

OP posts:

CoffeeTea103 · 28/09/2013 19:40

Yabu, it really comes with the sport even if it's not right. Emotions are high and it's a reaction that just happens without thinking.

LittleBearPad · 28/09/2013 19:42

You were at a football match. What did you expect.

CaptChaos · 28/09/2013 19:44

Write to the club. Air your views. Include a list of the words you deem acceptable to hear at a football match. Post the reply you get.

CaptChaos · 28/09/2013 19:44

Oh yes, I hope you realise YABU.

DoJo · 28/09/2013 19:50

If you think that kids don't hear words like that elsewhere, then the chances are you are mistaken. Teaching children that there are plenty of things that adults are allowed to do but they are not is important, and this is just one of them.

Parmarella · 28/09/2013 19:50

Yanbu

Sirzy · 28/09/2013 19:53

If you take a child to a football match then you have to expect they will hear some language they won't elsewhere.

I go to the rugby and the language in the family stand is normally ok, but you can still hear then chants and shouts from other stands.

Nora2012 · 28/09/2013 20:00

I think YABa bitU, it's not ideal to have to put up with it, but I think it's a choice you have to make by taking children to the football. DD is not old enough to repeat words yet but DH and I are already discussing how it's best to deal with as it's inevitable to hear this language. (Usually from her uncle!)

PoppadomPreach · 28/09/2013 20:04

YANBU - I think in the family stand a bit of self control is not an unreasonable expectation. It is ONLY a game. Regardless of what is said.

Rahahaharubbish · 28/09/2013 20:07

I think if a kid is old enough to go to a football match (and by that I mean actually engage with it and enjoy it for themselves) then they're old enough to understand what goes to football, stays at football. They will definitely hear far worse in the playground/out shopping/on holiday.

Many years ago a teacher of one of my kids had a season ticket for a local club and one season found herself stuck directly in front of one of her students and his family - she happily made that agreement with the child (and parents) and it worked really well

JennyPiccolo · 28/09/2013 20:14

Fuck up.

(REALLY SORRY couldn't help myself)

Original poster

Pigeonpair1 · 28/09/2013 20:16

I'm not naive - I've been to loads of matches over the years and I know it all goes with the territory. That said, is it really unreasonable to expect people to tone it down a bit in a family stand? What's the point in having that option otherwise? You're supposed to only go in there if you're with a junior (presumably in an attempt to minimise it all) so that is why I was surprised. Kids do hear bad language elsewhere of course, but I doubt many kids hear "effing cu*t" screamed in their ear on a regular basis.

I took the kids today because their father died in May and I am very keen for them not to miss out on these experiences just because he's not around anymore......

OP posts:

Dawndonnaagain · 28/09/2013 20:20

Taking the kids is a lovely idea. Family stands were started not to protect their precious little ears, though. It was to ensure a safe place to watch a game. It is a safe space to enjoy the game. You can't control the language. Whether or not it is unreasonable to expect people to tone it down, I don't know. I really don't have a problem with taboo language, neither do I have a problem with my children using it when it's appropriate.

HeySoulSister · 28/09/2013 20:21

I'm with you op!

My dd was a mascot for Chelsea once. John terry, lampard etc took time with her, she was in the changing rooms. Not one swear word to be heard from any player.

Sirzy · 28/09/2013 20:24

But even if people in the family stand were being lovely and polite they would still have been able to hear what was being shouted from elsewhere in the ground.

heysoul I think comparing behaviour of players when meeting young fans and behaviour of people sat watching the game is an unfair, and unrealistic comparison.

Donkeyok · 28/09/2013 20:25

sorry for you. Good for you for trying to balance his perspective. Once upon a time we tolerated racism in sport. Some other countries seem to manage family sporting events with out this. The change will be slow coming. You would probably be better not going. However a letter to management might not be such a bad thing - is it a bit like refunds could they provide you a private box. No probably not.

Original poster

Pigeonpair1 · 28/09/2013 20:26

Dawndonaagain - I take your point about family stands being a safe place to watch the game - but actually there were a couple of times when I didn't feel that safe!!

HeySoulSister - DS was Mascot at QPR last week! My husband was a huge Brighton fan but took DS to QPR all the time as it is just down the road from us. One of our friends arranged for DS to be mascot as a sort of tribute and loads of his friends from school came too to support him. The QPR players were amazing. (PS - I wouldn't have minded being in the Chelsea dressing room with Frank Lampard.

OP posts:

GirlWithTheDirtyShirt · 28/09/2013 20:29

I've been going to the football for 25 years. One of the very first things my Dad explained to me is that the language inside the ground, was just that, language for inside the ground. If I repeated it, it was made clear I wouldn't be going to the football again.

To be honest, I swear like a trooper nowadays. I suspect our attitudes to language and it's acceptability are going to change a lot over the next few years

Lucyccfc · 28/09/2013 20:35

I've been going to football matches for over 25 years home and abroad and don't have an issue with swearing in general at matches. However, my son has been going since he was about 2 and is now 8 and goes in the family stand. The reasons I take him in there, is so that he isn't subjected to lots of foul language and people who have had a tad too much to drink. I pulled a bloke up behind me at Wembley last month and asked him to tone down his language as he was in the family stand and fair play to him - he did say sorry and cut it out.

Yes my son will hear bad language as he grows up, but the whole point of a family stand is a place you can take your kids that is family friendly and this includes not having to listen to a constant tirade of the F, C and T words.

Original poster

Pigeonpair1 · 28/09/2013 20:46

Lucyccfc. I don't have a problem with swearing at matches either. Also love all the chants (some crackers today) and general camaraderie (provided you are sitting with your own fans of course!). I should probably have turned around and asked this couple nicely if they'd tone it down a bit but I was on my own, they stank of booze and I was a bit intimidated to be honest. I really want to continue taking DS (8) in particular as it was something he so enjoyed doing with his dad. Maybe it was just a bad day in the family stand (although QPR won 2-0)!!

I did explain on the way home that what is said in a football ground stays in the football ground and they seemed to understand that! If DS calls me a effing c*nt next week I'll know I didn't quite get the point across

OP posts:

HeySoulSister · 28/09/2013 20:48

It's a great experience. She's been a mascot for reading too

TooOldForGlitter · 28/09/2013 20:57

Yabu but I get you. I personally take more offence to the sexism i hear at football than to the swearing. The passion and frustration leads to swearing, sorry but it does. The sexism, not so much but im not up to giving a lecture on feminism to 300 blokes just yet

TooOldForGlitter · 28/09/2013 21:00

There is a delightful chant heard up and down the country....

Oh is wonderful oh is wonderful, its full of tits, fanny and oh is wonderful.

Just pure poetry im sure you will agree.

TooOldForGlitter · 28/09/2013 21:01

I've tried to sing it and exchange tits n fanny for pecs n cock but to no avail

cardibach · 28/09/2013 21:06

YABU for using the phrase 'potty mouth'. It really, really irritates me. What dies it even mean? Say they should control their foul language! And even then you WBU, I'm afraid.

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