To ask MNer's to *please* help me with my appearence?

[Orangeworkclock]

I have none. I used to be confident in choosing beautiful clothes. My hair was done every morning. Face made up. Toe nails always painted. Fingernails always manicured.
Fast forward 6 years.. I look awful. Seem to have lost the ability to dress myself. My hair's lucky if I run a comb through it in the morning, and throw back in a clip. Hardly wear make up, seem to look like an experimenting teen if I do. Nail varnish chipped if I even bother.
I know I need to make more effort, I want to. Just I look in shop's and just can't seem to pull an outfit together. Plus I'm about 4 stone more than I was back then - I had 1 ds, now I have 3 dc.
I have started Slimming World,so got my weight issue sorted. I just really want to look nice, pulled together I guess. My current outfit is black legging's and vest top with a cardigan over it. Its bloody awful and I alternate between that and a faded maxi dress.( only outfit's that fit me)
My confidence is very low and I want it back. I am v. tired at min though as have ds 11yrs, 4yrs and 6month baby girl.
I have no idea why I have become so incapable of simple style?
BTW I am very this sounds shallow, I just pretty miserable of being the fat, drab girl.

A good bra that really fits can do wonders.

When you find the perfect one, buy three of them.

Oh, Op, I have been working nights for months, and was feeling tired, pasty, miserable and drab. I spent all summer sleeping during the day. A few small fixes that made me feel amazing: a manicure, eyebrow wax and a well fitting bra. Then, cheap Primark black skinny jeans, a crisp white shirt and low-heeled boots. Throw a blazer (Mango have gorgeous, well-cut, reasonable blazers) over it, and instant casual chic.

Pop your hair in a high ponytail, backcomb it, and shove it up in a messy topknot.

Make-up wise, Benefit Sugarbomb on your cheeks, High Beam up to your brows, and a touch of mascara (I love Diorshow Iconic) and a lip tint.

All of the above takes me about 15 mins, but brings me from feeling messy and frumpy to groomed and confident.

Sounds like you are being way too hard on yourself. you haven't let yourself go, you've just had far more important priorities. it's very hard to feel "pulled together" in leggings so would bin those for dark denim jeans. If you fluctuate, go for a more forgiving boot cut rather than skinny. pull in with a belt when you need to. dark jeans look smarter than lighter coloured jeans and are easier to match with a smart top. Why not spoil yourself with a lovely bag. One great accessory provides takes the focus off everything else. I am not thinking this has to cost a lot of money. H&m have great options.

It's hard to keep up when you are so busy and also sleep deprived and have spent 9 (or 10) x 3 months in no position to follow fashion at all due to pregnancy. I spent the whole of the 1990s in nursing bras or maternity clothes. Looking back at the 90s I'm not sure giving the fashions of the decade a miss was entirely a bad idea, but I remember looking at my clothes in 2001 after DD4 was born and realising they had mostly been bought in the late 80s -- not a good feeling.

Dark denim jeans look good on everyone, and then a simple top with some sort of nice jacket or cardigan (doesn't have to be mumsy) and an eyecatching scarf, with decent shoes or boots (and good bra) will see you through most days. Brown and black belts are always nice and you will look a bit more put together wearing one. Be conscious of your posture too.

Something that I bought myself that perked me up no end was some really nice perfume, and I made a habit of wearing it daily. I also started paying a lot of attention to my nails - Burts Bees Lemon Cuticle Cream rubbed in nightly gave me a nice few minutes of pampering and improved my nails noticeably, plus a lovely lemony scent.

Firstly, fab advice from everyone so far. And well done for kick starting with Slimming World, hope it goes well :)

Ok, hair, you need to go to a good salon and tell them to make you fab. Nothing that needs rollers and 20 minutes of blowdrying each day, just the right cut for your face, and a colour change if necessary.
Next, beauty salon. Start with the eyebrow wax (and any other bits you may need) and get a set of acrylics put on. The varnish does not chip, and a set will last you 3 weeks before it needs maintenance. Mine are permanently bright red. Amazing the difference that makes. Toes just get them shaped and painted the same colour as your nails.
Clothes, well, if you are a 36E, go for wrapover style tops. They draw the eye to lovely boobs, and nip the waist in. Effortlessly easy to wash and wear too. You can glam it up instantly with say a patent cinch belt. Leggings are to be burned forthwith. Jeans need to be bootcut, nothing skinny fit or tapered.

One of the best things you can do as well, if you're going to be changing weight and not therefore wanting to invest in too many clothes right now, is get some amazing shoes and handbags. Oversize the handbag, makes you look smaller instantly. Accessories too. No matter how big/small you happen to be, a stunning bangle for example will always look great.

Makeup wise, I'd be more inclined to go to a salon. They are better at making you look pretty without trying to use every product they sell on your face in one go. I've tried 2 different makeup counters when I've been out shopping and bored. One made me look like I had jaundice, the other just caked it on me until I looked like Jodie Marsh. I think an hour in a salon where they can make you look fab, introduce you to a couple of application techniques, then you can pop to a department store armed with the fact that you want say, a raspberry shade lipstick, a liquid foundation, and a mid shade bronzer, and recreate the precise look you want from a variety of brands is a lot better and cheaper option.

I have a "postnatal" wardrobe to bridge me between maternity and my normal clothing. I was chuffed with my Tesco jeans- the waist is CS overhang friendly, and a good belt keeps them neatly hitched up while I shed the baby weight.

I'm not so great on tops as that revolves around BFing, and a ridiculously enhanced bust. I need to do some measuring now, but have ended up 5 cups bigger than normal which is hard to accommodate and a big reason why I favour feeding tops. I need a bra review.

When my body is settled back down, I seriously need to start again on underwear. I haven't worn anything matching in 3 1/2 years as I can't find knickers that neatly and daintily hide the CS overhang, that have matching B cup bras (everytime I think I've found something promising, it turns out to be DD+) (Any tips, please!)

I found the postnatal wardrobe handy when in the bloat stage of pregnancy of DS2, when normal rapidly became too snug, and maternity was too saggy.

Exercise makes me feel much better about myself. I go to a buggyfit class, so I can take the DCs. I also head out to aquafit once a week leaving the DCs with "Daddy time". The "me" time is brilliant for mind and body and not too big an inconvenience in family life.

I was being driven mad by some tickly wispy bits of hair, so got a long fringe cut in last time. Better having an organised chunk of hair in the way, plus I can clip it to the side more easily than the random new mummy fuzz. My hair is permanently in a ponytail at the moment as DS2 is a terrible hair grabber. Sigh.

You'll get there!

My best tip is when you get your hair done always book the next appt then you know you will actually go. I was terrible at this and would only go to hairdressers twice a year and if I don't get my blonde highlights done i feel very drab and have awful roots. I always now put the next appt in when I pay. I also discovered revlon photoready bb cream which is amazing and makes my skin look fab and glowing. I also put max factor lip stain on in the morning in a bright colour, you only need put it on once and it really does last all day and doesn't feel like you are wearing lipstick. They usually have a consultant in bigger boots stores to help you choose the right colour and their cosmetics don't cost the earth. Need to sort my clothes out though as live in jeans so reading the rest of this thread with interest!

I think Lustybusty is right about leggings. There's nothing wrong with them if you treat them as tights and wear under dresses or long tops but they are not a substitute for trousers. They are seethrough and we can see your pants!

Also second the advice about slapping on some mascara and blusher. Treat yourself to one of the Benefit blushers, they're all lovely and can transform your look.

I don't know what shape you are but if you're anything like me kids plus weight gain mean that your boobs are trying to take over the world. Something that's made a huge difference to my confidence and the way that clothes look is a Panache Superbra. They are comfortable, supportive and fairly cheap. Check out KnickerBoxersGlory (I think) on eBay. I've just ordered 3 Brazil for £36.

Disclaimer: I don't work for rather company - I'm just obsessed after finding comfy bras that I can afford that encase my giant swinging sacks of shit.

*3 BRAS. I'm not sure Brazil is for sale...

BIN LEGGINGS

agree with weight loss

always have a BELT - that stops porkage imo

So i today didn't go to plan as I was prob trying to do much to soon However, we went down to the market/ boot fair early and I picked up a John Rocha coat in lovely condition for £6 no idea what to wear with it though as it's not an average coat . Also a massive spa therapy gift ( unopened- early xmas stall) for £2. So am very happy with that. Originally did pick it up as a gift, when we got back df insisted I use it for myself, then I remembered pp on here had said to as well. So I will
Bit gutted I didn't get any jeans today, or make up, however will do tomorrow.

Forgot to add, I remeasured myself following the advice up thread. Apparently I measure 34FF!! Doesn't seem to be right- quite a big difference, no?

Have just caught up with the thread- posted before I browsed through again. Lots more great ideas from you all. Lovely ladies. It's honestly really helping to know that I'm not alone.

Just make sure you make yourself some time to enjoy the spa set!

That's a start though OP, baby steps and all that. Good work, and enjoy the spa set

You are me last year.

I posted in floods of tears last year. I was walking through town with all the cool looking dressed up Saturday shoppers. I had greasy scraped back hair, spots that hurt, a TRACKSUIT PANTS!! and a stained top. Shocking.

Everyone was very nice. I kind of sorted the clothes. I am not there yet but I at least have clean jeans, fitted t and cardigan which is like a uniform around here!

I lost my way because i was depressed and because I was depressed, I didnt give a shit how I looked or if I smelled. I know that you are no where near this but some of the stuff I am doing is helping so I wanted to share. Bear in mind, this is what I do with no money. I will upgrade once I can afford!

1. WATER!!! Very important, skin is dehydrated without it, so your make up wont sit right and your face will look weird.
2. Vitamins and supplements for the energy. I take an a-z and fish oils. I buy them in the weekly shop so they dont cost much extra.

3.SKIN!!! I follow (thanks to this website!) Caroline Hirons who is essenially like a bi sister who gives out to you. Follow beautymouth for her routine. Honestly, it has changed my skin. And remember, it doesnt matter how expensive the make up you put on, if your skin is claggy, it wont take. 4.Bra-Which I see you are already doing. 6.Eybrows, Nails and hair. 7.This to me is the most important thing, and I have to remind myself every day. You are worth the tim, effort and money that you want to put into you. The amount of times I put things back on the shelf because I cant justify the cost, (but I will spend it on others) is ridiculous. I remind myself every day I am worth the extra half hour in a day to clease and prep.

This place is a godsend for things like this. Spend a good hour reading S&B, you will surprised what you will find. And good look!!

I am a jeans and jumper kind of girl but have recently discovered the joy of a day dress. How about it? Something that's not too revelling but maybe is a nice colour or with a pretty pattern. Going into winter you could wear it with tights and flat/low heel boots. It's just as practical but guaranteed to make you feel more put together, I quite liked this dress but it was a bit expensive for me......

www.boden.co.uk/en-GB/Womens-Dresses/Day-Dresses/WH532-STP/Womens-Navy-Vanilla-Stripe-Libby-Dress.html

Make up wise I would definitely try Bare Minerals stuff, they do starter packs which include powder foundations; one for everyday and one a shade darker for evening/when you are a bit tanned, a contour powder, a mineral veil and two brushes with a DVD that shows you how to put the stuff on! It feels lovely and light and not overdone and is apparently good for the skin too! Clothes wise, a lovely fitted blazer and jeans or a nice tea/skater dress can look really simple and sophisticated. I think Dorothy Perkins has some nice dresses at the moment? Definitely what pp's have said though about the personal shoppers! They can be fab about finding what looks gorgeous and things you would necessarily choose for yourself :) good luck!

Today I am the owner of 2 pairs of jeans- 1pair of black, 1 pair of dark blue. You lot are right-they feel fantastic Am off to Matalan tomorrow- have seen some blazers that are like a cardigan (as mentioned by someone up thread) And a pair of long boots. Will link if someone would kindly explain how.

P.S Leggings have been disposed of

Good work OP! Can you report back on the blazer/cardi think please? I might fancy one of those myself!

OP, put and after the link and it will be working.
PS I think it was me who mentioned the jersey blazer which is closer to a cardigan than a blazer- saw those in Primark. Don't forget a top to go under the blazer!

It is working ;)))). I meant to say put and before/after the link.

BigOrange Will link this evening when dc are in bed.
So this week have done my makeup every morning- found a video from the link up thread that I liked.. Have not had the time to get to a make up lesson yet.
Feel so much better for it.. Just can't help feeling sad about how my body is now. I have had 3 CS and my body is suffering from it. I miss my flat abs. And my B cups. My boobs HAVE taken over my body EllOvvaCunt
I am embarrassed by it- can't tell when my clothes are on, however I can't bring myself to flaunt it in front of dp. He is a darling about it, just I feel insecure.

Cut your hair.

Seriously, if all you ever do is tie it back, then get it cut short or into a bob, or a layered style that means you can't do a quick ponytail.

There's a reason most French women look chic, and it's a lack of ponytails. They demand what's called a 'no hairbrush' cut which means the hairdressers cuts something that you can wash & go, using the hair's natural shape, texture and fall.

Oh, and throw away anything made of fleece.