To ask MNer's to *please* help me with my appearence?

[Orangeworkclock]

I have none. I used to be confident in choosing beautiful clothes. My hair was done every morning. Face made up. Toe nails always painted. Fingernails always manicured.
Fast forward 6 years.. I look awful. Seem to have lost the ability to dress myself. My hair's lucky if I run a comb through it in the morning, and throw back in a clip. Hardly wear make up, seem to look like an experimenting teen if I do. Nail varnish chipped if I even bother.
I know I need to make more effort, I want to. Just I look in shop's and just can't seem to pull an outfit together. Plus I'm about 4 stone more than I was back then - I had 1 ds, now I have 3 dc.
I have started Slimming World,so got my weight issue sorted. I just really want to look nice, pulled together I guess. My current outfit is black legging's and vest top with a cardigan over it. Its bloody awful and I alternate between that and a faded maxi dress.( only outfit's that fit me)
My confidence is very low and I want it back. I am v. tired at min though as have ds 11yrs, 4yrs and 6month baby girl.
I have no idea why I have become so incapable of simple style?
BTW I am very this sounds shallow, I just pretty miserable of being the fat, drab girl.

If you are not treating yourself to clothes because you don't like your figure, may I give you the paradoxical advice that you may find it easier to lose weight if you buy a couple of things that look great on you at your current size. It gives you confidence and confidence is great for motivation. The biggest pair of trousers I have ever had, I only wore for 2 weeks, because as soon as I had something that fitted me properly I felt a lot better and was psychologically able to eat less and exercise more. so pick a few things that look good now - not too many because you will be giving them away soon!

good luck, it is easier than you think to release the inner gorgeous you, some small changes make big differences, x

The make-up session at Debenhams should also be free. How much pressure they put on you to buy stuff depends on the brand and salesperson I think.

Clinique I have always found extremely pushy, and not always helpful. Last time I went they convinced me to buy a darker foundation, and it looks ridiculous on me, like a fake tan (I am naturally v pale). But Debenhams (and other department stores) have many different make up brands, so try a different one.

Aww OP are you me?! I have three DC similar ages to yours, love my DH and my gorgeous boys and I have a lovely life but I too have lost all confidence in the way I look and feel like nothing looks good any more!

You have received lots of great advice on the thread already-I just wanted to say I completely understand how you feel and I hope you start getting your mojo back soon.

Only wear leggings with a skirt (denim etc), long tunic top or a tunic dress as it will skim over post baby problem areas. Too many women wear leggings as replacement trousers with a short top & it really isn't a flattering or fashionable look.

I mix a bit of foundation with moisturiser & thats ok for daily coverage & then use No7 blush in damson &
mascara & thats me sorted for work in 5 mins. I also use Elizabeth Arden 8 hr cream in a liptint Burgundy. I save my boots point for these treats.

Get yourself a good haircut and a facial to get your skin glowing. Invest in good quality underwear which will provide a good foundation for your outfits. Start slowly and you will reap the benefits in terms of confidence & self esteem.

raisah, what is 8 hr cream for? Are you using at as balm / lip gloss? What is the colourless one for? Sorry to hijack - I have real problem skin esp in winter - painfully dry and sensitive - looking for tips

Its the 8hr cream in a lipstick version, it comes in 3 shades original, pink & burgundy. It leaves a hint of colour so ok for work & leaves my lips really soft. It is expensive @ £20 but I used my boots points & use it everyday. I would recommend it, put it on your xmas list! The 8hr cream is a body crean whuch is wonderful.

Its the 8hr cream in a lipstick version, it comes in 3 shades original, pink & burgundy. It leaves a hint of colour so ok for work & leaves my lips really soft. It is expensive @ £20 but I used my boots points & use it everyday. I would recommend it, put it on your xmas list! The 8hr cream is a body crean whuch is wonderful.

Thanks raisah

I'm a style free zone....99% of the time it doesn't bother me, just occasionally I would like to look 'nice' but I haven't got a clue where to start.
I have worn make up maybe twice when I got married
I live in jeans/jumpers

Just realised I'm not helping...

I think the other posters are giving you some great ideas...makes notes while shuffling

It is absolutely vital that you do a mumsnet bra intervention before you go shopping. Lots of threads on style and beauty about how to measure yourself and find a bra that actually fits. Because I'm willing to bet you haven't bought new underwear in quite some time....

Ihaven't either. I'm waiting till I've finished feeding DD then I'm splashing out on some fabulous undies.

I'm also making notes, and chucking leggings in bin.

Try the twiggy high waist skinny jeans from m and s. Bloody amazing at covering the flabby tummy.

Uniqlo is brilliant and economical for comfortable everyday clothes that also look good. Their vests are fab - they do one that sort of holds everything in but less viscious than shapewear. Essential formaking everything feel more organised. Not the hottest trend but I'm very comfortable in dresses over skinny jeans or jeggings. Oasis has some lovely rich navy skinny trousers with elastic waist (£32) and I'm also liking primark's little denim dresses £12 each, different ones but both dungaree style, great fit. For everyday tops, only the Cos ones are snug fitting on the boobs but not around the waist. Cost a bit more though.

I question the big day out tactic though. A bit high-expectation for me. I prefer to shop for half days more frequently and find that a shopping trip generally generates at least one other trip, what with taking things back / exchanging.

Oh and good luck!

How do I do the bra intervention? I did attempt it after reading on MN notes. Not sure I did it correctly though & I've not visited the thread yet. However if I am right then I come up 36E- I was wearing 34B Have just finished breastfeeding so should do it properly really.
You lot have really got me motivated to this now It's lovely this. Thank you.
My plan for getting started is to get my bra size tonight. To go out tomorrow in the morning and have a hunt for jeans and also look at the work wear. I never look at that section (am sahm) and I do love dresses just have not bought one for a long time Its a very good idea I think. Throw my leggings away (they are quite stretched now anyway
Pick up some good cream, will check out the 8 hr cream, it's out of my budget at the min, however my birthday is looming. Also see if I can get a makeup session, if they do this on Sundays.

Balaboosta Cross posts. Am off to look at Uniqlo website

I've put on a lot of weight lately (stopped smoking) and I've ended up in dresses - they are wonderful, so easy. Put them on and you're done - why didn't anybody tell me about this eh. They elongate the look of your body, for a start. You can wear them as is, or with jeans/trousers or cropped leggings

Depends where they look best on your legs, sunshine. Mine are mostly to the knee, or just above, because that's where they flatter my legs the best. though I did wear a longish dress over the summer and I couldn't believe how tall and willowy I felt.

Don't buy skater dress- if you are overweight, it will most likely look ridiculous on you.
Try to find
a) well-fitting jeans- look for dark navy straight ones,
b) well- fitting blazer- navy/black/grey (primark does jersey ones, sort of cross between cardigan and blazer),
c) a top to wear underneath- sleeveless/short sleeves,
d) jumper/shirt to alternate with the blazer,
e) good pair of boots, preferably with heels/wedge, if you can't wear heals, then flats, just make sure they go well with jeans, same coulour/darker than the jeans,
f) something nice to wear at home as it will make you feel better- Primark does some nice pj bottoms/leisure wear pants.
g) do you need an outerwear as well? Decide what you need/ want.
Do a bra fitting in John Lewis (can combine it with going to the make- up counter), buy well- fitting knickers. Buy several scarves- again, try to match them with the blazer. Make- up- go to MAC/Bobby brown and ask what they think will suit you. MAC is very good in my experience.

Sunshinemmum, blazers are really good as they halve your upper half :) and make you look instantly smarter- result! Dresses are also good, didn't include them as didn't want to scare OP away :).

I thing a lot of women would do better to think of leggings as thick tights, rather than trousers... I own one pair of leggings, that I wear ONLY under dresses/denim skirts, with sandals if it's a cool "summer" day or knee high boots if it's an autumnal/winters day.
Yes yes yes to good bras. If you're in the wrong sized bra, putting in the right size will make you look about 2 stone lighter anyway. Measure tightly round your rib age, just under your boobs. The number in inches is your back size (though you may have to go up or down a back size depending on style and comfort). Bend over so your boobs are hanging straight at the floor and measure loosely. If there is one inch difference (eg 32 under, 33 around) you are an a cup, 2 inches is b and so on through c, d, dd, e, f, ff, g, gg, h etc etc. For more full info google betterbracampaign (I think?) a fabulous mnetter set it up, and it's ace.
Finally, brave colour. I know how easy it is just to wear black/grey/navy if you're overweight - I've been there, done that. But if you stick to dark bottoms and just add bits of colour (maybe pink pumps and scarf? Or purple tshirt?) it can add interest with no effort.
HTH, and good luck. Be the woman you want to be.