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Original poster

To wonder why his facebook is so well hidden from me

108 replies

suspiciousgf · 28/09/2013 13:44

I've been dating a guy for a few months, and things seem to be progressing well.

He has a facebook account, but has it very well hidden, (as in I cannot find him at all) and says I don't need to be a friend because it is for professional networking only and that he doesn't use it much anyway.

Should I be a bit suspicious, or is this normal and I should relax and trust him.

OP posts:
Original poster
suspiciousgf · 28/09/2013 15:38

No I haven't, but he hasn't been to mine either.

OP posts:
ImpOfDarkness · 28/09/2013 16:01

Nobody uses FB for professional networking

Depends on your line of work. Lots of creative professions do.

pigletmania · 28/09/2013 16:02

20 Facebook accounts is a bit suspicious, something about him just does not sit right

ImpOfDarkness · 28/09/2013 16:03

20 Facebook accounts is a bit suspicious

I think she means there are 20 people on there with the same name...

Original poster
suspiciousgf · 28/09/2013 16:06

Yes, I meant 20 people with the same name.

Clearly all different people and not him.

It doesn't help that his surname is a first name, so all the reverse names come up too.

i.e. If his name were James Henry, all the James Henry would come up on a search, but all the Henry James would come up too.

OP posts:
perfectstorm · 28/09/2013 16:08

So you've smiled in passing at his parents in a restaurant, you've never met any of his friends, you've never been to his house nor him yours, and he doesn't want to add you to Facebook or tell you where he works?

Sorry but this is not a relationship as I understand them. I think the FB is the least of your worries. Confused

themaltesefalcon · 28/09/2013 16:08

One telling lies, one trying to piece together the truth from Google.

I wouldn't bother with this nonsense, OP.

MissOtisRegretsMadam · 28/09/2013 16:11

Dp has a friend who is dating a woman but still likes to go out and meet other women. He is basically just using her until he meets someone he likes more. He has blocked her on fb and most of her friends so they can't find him as he wants to stay single on fb...

I would be wary of this behaviour.

DorothyBastard · 28/09/2013 16:12

How come you have been dating him a few months but neither of you has visited each other's house?

MissOtisRegretsMadam · 28/09/2013 16:13

Set up a fake profile and search him... If you find him chances are you have been blocked.

He has probably gone through your friends list and blocked you and your friends so he is well hidden.

tombliboouun · 28/09/2013 16:14

Run a mile! This dude can not be trusted!

shewhowines · 28/09/2013 16:22

Big red flags. You are right to be suspicious. Do you even know where he lives? Find out some way and do some checking from that.

pigletmania · 28/09/2013 16:31

Exactly Dorothy, seems stange you haven't been to one another's house after a few months

Alibabaandthe40nappies · 28/09/2013 16:32

You don't have a relationship, you are not his girlfriend.

Girlfriends are introduced to friends, invited to their boyfriend's home and so on.

You say he hasn't been to your house - have you invited him and he's declined or have you not invited him yet?

Also - you have no way of knowing whether those people that you waved to in the restaurant were his parents! They could have been randoms, or maybe work colleagues.
If I was in a restaurant with DH and my parents were there too, or his parents, then we would all move and sit together. That is what normal people do.
I bet they were not actually his parents.

pigletmania · 28/09/2013 16:32

Yes big red flags here imvho

shewhowines · 28/09/2013 16:34

Good point Alibab

Littleen · 28/09/2013 16:50

He could easily have explained to his parents that you were a business connection he went for a meal with, so I wouldn't see that as any comfort. Would be very suspicious about this guy indeed!

DoJo · 28/09/2013 17:42

If I was in a restaurant with DH and my parents were there too, or his parents, then we would all move and sit together. That is what normal people do.

In fairness, you might not do that if you were on a first/second/third date and still getting to know one another - I don't think this is necessarily a sign that he was lying about them being his parents. All this speculation is pointless if you aren't going to confront him, but it's not exactly a good start, so it might be worth just writing this relationship off.

HaroldLloyd · 28/09/2013 18:34

It all sounds pretty dodgy I think I presumed you met them properly.

How strange to be in a restaurant and not join them, everything together sounds quite bad.

HeySoulSister · 28/09/2013 19:11

How did you meet?

usuallyright · 28/09/2013 19:15

how can you be dating a few months and not go to each other's homes? Where are you having sex?

quietbatperson · 28/09/2013 21:45

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NicknameIncomplete · 28/09/2013 21:57

I am on fb. I am unsearchable on facebook & i dont use it much but i am not married & i dont have a million guys on the go at the same time. And as i dont use it often i probably wouldnt add a guy i had been seeing for a few months as a friend.

jellyfl00d · 28/09/2013 22:21

Nickname, in this case you are probably an exception and not the rule.

pigletmania · 29/09/2013 09:23

There is nothing wrong with not being on Facebook, not everybody lies it and wants teir life played out in public. I know some of my friends who do not, and dh does not, though he does twitter. But this man sounds very cagey, and teir is jst something not right, trust your instincts!