Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To wonder why his facebook is so well hidden from me

108 replies

suspiciousgf · 28/09/2013 13:44

I've been dating a guy for a few months, and things seem to be progressing well.

He has a facebook account, but has it very well hidden, (as in I cannot find him at all) and says I don't need to be a friend because it is for professional networking only and that he doesn't use it much anyway.

Should I be a bit suspicious, or is this normal and I should relax and trust him.

OP posts:
GoofyIsACow · 28/09/2013 14:26

I would immediately think married too im afraid...

LauraChant · 28/09/2013 14:27

It is possible he went to the grammar in the sixth form. My sister went to a comp then a grammar sixth form.

MoominsYonisAreScary · 28/09/2013 14:28

Its a little weird that you cant even find him using a fake account

Original poster
suspiciousgf · 28/09/2013 14:31

No because he went to a sixth form college after GSCEs.

OP posts:
DoJo · 28/09/2013 14:34

I know plenty of people who use Facebook for work, but usually it is those who have creative jobs or some cross over between their friends and their colleagues. I think it's worth just coming out and asking him as otherwise it will gnaw away at you and you won't be able to actually enjoy a relationship with him. He may have a perfectly legitimate reason, or he may not, but you will never know as long as you are second guessing.

Original poster
suspiciousgf · 28/09/2013 14:35

There are several facebook accounts with his name (about 20)

Most are clearly not him, as the picture and network clearly don't match up. One has no picture or info, but I don't think its him either as all the friends live in a different part of the country.

OP posts:
festered · 28/09/2013 14:36

That is weird. If It's hidden and you can't find him why would he tell you he had it-he could have just said he isn't on fb.

Original poster
suspiciousgf · 28/09/2013 14:38

After trying to find him and failing, I asked him if he is on Facebook. He said he is but only uses it for professional networking and doesn't use it much.

OP posts:
catgirl1976 · 28/09/2013 14:38

Maybe he isn't on it and just didn't want to look out of touch with social media or something?

Original poster
suspiciousgf · 28/09/2013 14:41

Maybe, but he could have just said.

I do have one or two friends who either don't have a facebook account. I respect their right to privacy (which is why they choose not to have one) and I wouldn't really care if he didn't have one. What I find odd is that he has one but I can't see it.

OP posts:
BrandybuckCurdlesnoot · 28/09/2013 14:48

You can make yourself "unsearchable" on Facebook. He may have done that.

FrussoHathor · 28/09/2013 14:50

Yes he could have brandy there are certain jobs where it is recommended if you have fb you are unsearchable.

Original poster
suspiciousgf · 28/09/2013 14:50

But if he is "unsearchable" how does he use the account for social networking?

OP posts:
Original poster
suspiciousgf · 28/09/2013 14:50

*i mean professional networking

OP posts:
LessMissAbs · 28/09/2013 14:53

I've had so many guys come onto me who are in relationships, usually live-in, including one who had two Facebook profiles for that very purpose, that my money would be on him having at least one other girlfriend. Or at least be presenting himself as single to other women (as happened to me).

pigletmania · 28/09/2013 14:53

I would be very suspicious, sounds like he s hiding something. He might have another woman or family. It was nt a proper formal meeting, just a chance informal hello and that's it!

LessMissAbs · 28/09/2013 14:56

What they do is block the girlfriend from their Facebook account that their friends are on, and then create a new Facebook profile that "they hardly use" for the girlfriend...

Have you had the "I don't know how Facebook works" line yet?

Or "I hardly use Facebook"?

littlemissnormal · 28/09/2013 15:00

You know that you can see who has viewed your profile on LinkedIn don't you?
So if you don't want to look like a stalker, it's probably best not to keep looking at him on there!

Original poster
suspiciousgf · 28/09/2013 15:03

You know that you can see who has viewed your profile on LinkedIn don't you?
So if you don't want to look like a stalker, it's probably best not to keep looking at him on there!

I don't have a LinkedIn account, so I don't know how he could find out. His LinkedIn is publicly available.

OP posts:
gaggiagirl · 28/09/2013 15:10

What about twitter OP? If he's blocked you on twitter you will know immediately. I'm on twitter I'll be happy to check for you.

pigletmania · 28/09/2013 15:10

Any potential partner who does not want you to meet his friends or Amoy is a no no. I would cool it off tbh

pigletmania · 28/09/2013 15:12

Family doh

Original poster
suspiciousgf · 28/09/2013 15:16

I've tried twitter, but he only posted half a dozen messages, and they were in 2010, so an inactive account.

OP posts:
gaggiagirl · 28/09/2013 15:23

have you ever been to his house as a poster asked earlier?
Is there anything else about him that causes you concern?

pigletmania · 28/09/2013 15:25

Yes have you been to his house?

Swipe left for the next trending thread