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AIBU?

Parents not having car seats for their children

363 replies

bicyclefish · 27/09/2013 15:50

The other day I came out of the supermarket and saw a couple getting into their car with the lady in the back seat strapped in with a CHILD on her lap (less than a 2 year old) and a slightly older child (maybe 4 or 5 ) strapped in but with no child seat or even a booster. I went across to them and told them in what was probably an overly abrupt manner that they should under no circumstances do what they were doing and that i was taking his number down and reporting him. He told me to F off and that he was 'only going up the road anyway'. Oh right thats ok then, accidents never happen on the short trip back from the supermarket... ahem..a little wound up by his lack of care for the people in his care i then told him that if he got back into his car and tried to drive away i would physically stand in front of it and sue him for assault if he drove into me... I know, i know..
upshot is, he got the family back out and went home and got the car seats that they did actually own but didn't see fit to put into the car..FFS
AIBU or should i have minded my own business?

OP posts:

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fishandmonkey · 27/09/2013 19:48

i think there's some quite good evidence that seat belts are no less safe in a collision than car seats for children over 2ish. i know you're going to ask for references but i can't be bothered to find them.

viasabat please don't feel crap because you need to use a taxi without a car seat - i've done it many times. you are doing the absolute right thing by your baby in carrying him/her in a sling instead of a travel system. the benefits of that close constant contact with you are huge so pat yourself on the back for that and ignore the haters x

NomDeClavier · 27/09/2013 19:51

Visabat I have travelled in a taxi with DS in a sling when in a country where taxis only had lap belts (and people drove like maniacs). If you keep the baby in a sling and only have the belt across your lap they are fairly well secured. Or have the belt between you and baby but that's a faff. The important thing is to avoid having the baby between you and the belt, but I'd rather that than a baby in arms.

NomDeClavier · 27/09/2013 19:51

By 'that' I mean having baby in sling rather than in arms.

Scrounger · 27/09/2013 19:53

fishandmonkey, if you are going to say that seat belts are no less safe in a collision for children over two but then can't be bothered to find it, I can't be bothered to believe you. Whilst it is not a scientific study, watching three children slide around in the back of a car does not convince me that they were as safe as if they had been in car seats.

To be clear, they were in the cab because it seemed the least dangerous choice than in keeping them by the roadside and then being hit by a car whilst waiting for Greenflag. It is never something I would do ordinarily and this was the first time in 6 years.

fishandmonkey · 27/09/2013 19:54

hang on......
in the OP this happened "the other day"
and in the most recent post "some years ago"
and "don't see the point in lying"

Scrounger · 27/09/2013 19:55

Visabat, to be clear, my posts are not getting at you, I hope that someone will be able to give you some advice that will help.

AnnieLobeseder · 27/09/2013 19:57

fishandmonkey- I can be bothered and .

OP, if this event happened year ago, may I ask why you're only posting about it now?

fishandmonkey · 27/09/2013 19:58

scrounger

Dawndonnaagain · 27/09/2013 20:00

My dd has brittle asthma. I live rurally. Occasionally it was quicker to get her to the hospital in the car than wait for an ambulance. Many years ago, we would, now and then, sling her in the car with her big brother. So glad I didn't come across you, then OP.
I bet your right minded thinking didn't even bother to cover why they were there, without carseats.

fishandmonkey · 27/09/2013 20:00

annie you've totally convinced my with that water-tight evidence. i take it back.

candycoatedwaterdrops · 27/09/2013 20:08

OP: AIBU?
Some people: YABU
OP: No, I'm not, you ignorant immoral fools!

Scrounger · 27/09/2013 20:10

ooh yes please

BrianTheMole · 27/09/2013 20:12

Visabat, are you going to be using the same company regularly? It so you could see if they could provide a child seat for you, some of them do. The only other option is a decent sling as someone else mentioned. I had the baby hawk oh snap, which is from 6 months, but I reckon that could have lasted quite a while. It was very sturdy. Theres probably other similar harness you could use from birth for quite a long time too.

BrianTheMole · 27/09/2013 20:14

He was back in a couple of minutes op? really? hardly worth them driving for that was it.

Nah, still don't believe you. But don't let the truth stand in the way of a good story

elah11 · 27/09/2013 20:15

Visabat I am not trying to make you feel crap, I am sorry you feel that way, I am simply pointing out the facts. And fwiw although I am not in your position my dh has MS and we have had to make many compromises and difficult choices ourselves.

HarryTheHungryHippo · 27/09/2013 20:27

I also confused by the other day/year comment but I laughed at the heathen comment so your forgiven for your possible lies.
I'm also a car seat safety lover and can't believe people think it's a "small risk" some of the comments would have me laughing if it wasn't so sad that you actually think it's ok to risk your children's health.
Would you all see it a having been a small risk or "precious"(FFS) if you were in an accident and the force snapped your child's neck and paralysed them or they were on your lap and your force crushed them?
Seriously pull your heads out your asses, you can drive as carefully as you like but YOU are not the only person on the road and you can't prevent someone else ramming into you.
But of course if you had an accident it would be blamed entirely on the other driver and no thought given to the fact that had your child been properly restrained they might not have been so badly hurt.

BlingBang · 27/09/2013 20:29

Elah11 'I find it astounding and depressing how many people are so careless with their childrens safety, it is neglectful, bad parenting not to have your child in a suitable car seat.
Viasabat I am sorry you think people are trying to make you feel bad about not using a car seat but, no matter what the reason, its simply not safe to bring your baby in a car without a seat. You are putting his/her life at risk .'

You can bog off with your blanket moralising, I'd say probably most parents take this very seriously, there can be the odd occasion that you take the risk - it doesn't make you a bad parent. And some folk don't have the luxury of a car and car seats ad sometimes have to make do.

And to have a go at Visabat when she has a different set of problems to contend with and is obviously worried - that's really low.

BrianTheMole · 27/09/2013 20:32

And to have a go at Visabat when she has a different set of problems to contend with and is obviously worried - that's really low.

yeah it is low.

HarryTheHungryHippo · 27/09/2013 20:41

I once did the school run with three children held in with a single lap belt in the back of my MGB. The 'borrowed' kids Mum was in labour at the time.
I told them all to hold on and drove carefully. I had no hesitation in helping out another family while not jeapordising the safety of my own.

I didn't realise squishing 3 children together made needing a car seat obsolete. Or that telling them to hold on and driving carefully all the sudden meant that nobody in other cars might hit you and they'd go flying forward with the force. This thread is making my blood boil

PirateJelly · 27/09/2013 20:42

Let me get this straight so he got the whole family out of the car, they then walked home to get the carseats, carried a baby seat plus booster cushion back to the car, then all got back in the car ( kids now safely strapped in) and drove off? Maybe I'm missing something here BUT surely if they pissed about walking all the way home, the kids would have stayed at home with the mother once there and the father could have just nipped back and got the car without the need for bringing the carseats back and the dc? Makes absolutely no sense at all to me

NK493efc93X1277dd3d6d4 · 27/09/2013 20:52

Minicabs and Taxis are exempt from this law and many of us can remember the time before the law existed. Granted it is a good one but driving without child seats is not akin to walking down a railway track and YABU & interfering.

pianodoodle · 27/09/2013 20:56

piratejelly

I didn't think of that! Why would they all walk back to the supermarket if they we already home?!

Lol

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pianodoodle · 27/09/2013 20:57

"Were" already home, even.

Feckbloodypets · 27/09/2013 21:32

Just a small point but I thought that there was an exemption to this law. You are able to do short journeys if they are unplanned, I may be wrong on this but If that is the case possibly dad was somewhere else was heading home, phoned mum and said where are you. If close by he may then have said stay there and I will pick you and the kids up so you don't have to walk.

ErrolTheDragon · 27/09/2013 21:45

Feck, yes there is an exemption.

Its worth knowing the laws (a) so you adhere to them to the best of your ability and (b) so that you can cite them if you're in an unplanned situation where you really can't get hold of a seat and someone stands in front of your car.

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