Parents not having car seats for their children

[bicyclefish]

The other day I came out of the supermarket and saw a couple getting into their car with the lady in the back seat strapped in with a CHILD on her lap (less than a 2 year old) and a slightly older child (maybe 4 or 5 ) strapped in but with no child seat or even a booster. I went across to them and told them in what was probably an overly abrupt manner that they should under no circumstances do what they were doing and that i was taking his number down and reporting him. He told me to F off and that he was 'only going up the road anyway'. Oh right thats ok then, accidents never happen on the short trip back from the supermarket... ahem..a little wound up by his lack of care for the people in his care i then told him that if he got back into his car and tried to drive away i would physically stand in front of it and sue him for assault if he drove into me... I know, i know..
upshot is, he got the family back out and went home and got the car seats that they did actually own but didn't see fit to put into the car..FFS
AIBU or should i have minded my own business?

[FobblyWoof]

Urgh, I hate aibu's where the OP has blantenty posted to get a pat on the back

You clearly don't think you were being unreasonable in any way so why bother asking the question?

I don't really think there's much point me stating which side of the yanbu/yabu fence I fall on

[AnnieLobeseder]

Visabat - I apologise, my post wasn't entirely fair and I certainly don't want to make you feel shit. I'm sure you've done your research but I would have thought that the small light travel systems could be pushed with one hand.

Rachel778 - what, you think I don't know that there weren't car seats in the 70s and 80s? . I'm also aware that rape within marriage was legal, as was discrimination on the basis of race. Shall we go back to all the jolly old ways, cos mostly no-one got hurt.

I said your attitude towards car seats is bizarre, not your statement that they weren't required by law in days gone by.

[Teapigging]

I don't believe the end of your story for a moment. I think that's how you would have liked it to have ended.

[catsareeasier]

Tabby1963 - the problem with the (very effective at the time) 'clunk click' campaign, of course, is that we no longer really want to listen to Jimmy Savile on the subject of child safety...

[Viasabat]

Annielobseeder I appreciate your apology. Unfortunately guide dogs will not allow you to push a travel system, as the dog would not have enough clearance to move me safely and quickly enough away from obstacles.
Obviously I will try to walk as many places as I can, just sometimes that isn't always possible.

Enrol I have contacted Rnib and guide dogs who have so far offered no support, unfortunately funding is not what it used to be.

[Talkinpeace]

Many years ago (in the early 1970's) , long before car seats and seatbelts were compulsory there was a family who believed that they were the right thing to do.
So the parents were seat belted in and the older children had the two lap belts - that being all there was in back seats then. The little kid was in the first ever Britax Egg seat - bolted to the car frame.
A car crashed into them and sliced their car off at the bottom of the windows.
The only thing sticking above that height was the car seat.
The child in it survived.

[Crowler]

People do all sorts of unadvisable things with their kids. Unless a child is in clear and present danger (this doesn't qualify) don't interfere.

I'm sure you've been in a situation where you would not appreciate a stranger weighing in with their view on your actions.

[Justforlaughs]

I think you were way over the top, unless you see this couple regularly doing this, you had no way of knowing whether this was a one off (allowable by law) or whether it was an emergency (allowable by law) and while I do and always have used car seats for my own DCs, if anyone stood in front of my car to stop me moving, they would find that my car was more than capable of moving them out of the way.

[Rachel778]

Then why say my remarks are Bizarre ? I think YOU are rather Bizarre with your remarks . .. This is about BABY SEATS not rape in marriage or prejudice !

[Rachel778]

My Mum used to have me sat on her lap . . You wanna rip into her ? People were not so damn well precious back then though !

[Talkinpeace]

I once did the school run with three children held in with a single lap belt in the back of my MGB. The 'borrowed' kids Mum was in labour at the time.
I told them all to hold on and drove carefully. I had no hesitation in helping out another family while not jeapordising the safety of my own.

[MavisG]

Visabat I don't use a travel system, prefer slings & have occasionally caught a cab & put the seatbelt on between me & the baby (never around both of us as then I'd crush baby against belt). If sling is supporting the baby's neck (eg a Manduca would be good and easy to use for you) this seems a good compromise.

[Viasabat]

Thanks MavisG that's really useful.

[Scrounger]

I've used a cab without car seats, in Cornwall on single / double track roads when we hit the side of the hedge - only its not hedge it is granite and the front wheel was stoved in. We were in a hamlet, three houses, a T junction and no footpaths on a single track road that widened slightly at that point so that two cars could pass. The car wasn't going anywhere and we needed Greenflag. I didn't fancy trying to control two pre-schoolers and a 6 yo and keep them safe in that situation so we called a cab to get to the next village - about 4 miles.

The kids were in the back without car seats sliding around all over the place with huge grins on their faces. They loved it, it really hit home to me how unsafe they are in a car without car seats. Not sure it counted as an emergency, more a balance of risks given the situation we were in.

The parents were in the wrong in this instance, were you right? I don't know and I'm not sure how much to believe. Need some Savlon for the splinters in my bottom.

[AnnieLobeseder]

Rachel778, I said, and continue to say, that your remarks/attitude are bizarre because you think that applying outdated and unsafe practices to modern times is fair and logical. You seem to be having trouble understanding the point I'm making, but I don't see how I can be any more clear.

[Mojavewonderer]

I think you were very lucky you didn't get punched in the face but I totally understand why you did it.
I personally am a wimp and would just have called the police.
Good for you though!

[BrianTheMole]

I don't believe you did that. Your story sounds odd. And not true.

[elah11]

I think while you were correct to point it out you were mad to put yourself in harms way! I think you should have just called the police but fair play to you anyway, very very few people would have done that and maybe he will think twice about doing it again?
I find it astounding and depressing how many people are so careless with their childrens safety, it is neglectful, bad parenting not to have your child in a suitable car seat.
Viasabat I am sorry you think people are trying to make you feel bad about not using a car seat but, no matter what the reason, its simply not safe to bring your baby in a car without a seat. You are putting his/her life at risk .

[ErrolTheDragon]

I have contacted Rnib and guide dogs who have so far offered no support, unfortunately funding is not what it used to be.

Very sorry to hear that, and glad Mavis has offered some advice which may help.

[Want2bSupermum]

The only time DD was in a car with a car seat was this summer when we had to take a taxi to the train station. I had tried to take the bus but they wouldn't let me on and it was a 1hr+ walk through town with two kids, three suitcases and it was raining. When looking for a taxi I called a couple of firms to see if any of them could provide a car seat. I thought it was shocking that not a sinlge taxi firm had a car seat available. It was Copenhagen, not middle of nowhere.

OP - I wouldn't have said anything to the adults because you should never argue with fools. Next time either give them a car seat and show them how to install it or report them to the police.

[Viasabat]

Elah11 thanks for making me feel crap, I have stated all the reasons very clearly as to why, lucky for you you are not in my situation and don't have to make such choices!

Thank you Erroll.

[morethanpotatoprints]

If you watch old tv programmes you will see midwives passing baby to sit on the mothers lap, in the front of the car.
We knew no better, there were fewer cars on the road, it was the done thing then.
We move on and improve the chances of H&S of our children, simple as that.

[Bellini28]

I live in a country where children are adored... You can take them everywhere and they are always most welcome.... Unfortunately things like car seats and other safety precautions - we in Northern Europe would take - are nonchalantly overlooked... So on the one hand I feel that the OP did the right thing however, I used to upset myself with this stuff on a daily basis and now just mind my own business instead cos at the end it is not my children who are unrestrained or on the front of a motorbike without a helmet... And as wonderfully idealistic as it is to think we can make a difference by stepping in, at the least we get told where to get off... The most is simply not worth it!

[bicyclefish]

ok i had to leave to go back to real life, but i just checked in. For the third and final time, he DID go home and get the car seats, in his car, and was back within a couple of minutes. It happened. I was there. i don't really see the point in lying about it? What can be gained from that?
I'm still gobsmacked that yet more people on here are going with the "well it didn't harm me in my day" line TBH. O.K. so the general consensus is that i went a little too far and to that, I guess I agree. FYI this was before the 101 number was set up some years ago now and I guess if it happened again I would also follow it up with the 101 call.
Pixiepotter..you are a judgmental fool