Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parents not having car seats for their children

363 replies

bicyclefish · 27/09/2013 15:50

The other day I came out of the supermarket and saw a couple getting into their car with the lady in the back seat strapped in with a CHILD on her lap (less than a 2 year old) and a slightly older child (maybe 4 or 5 ) strapped in but with no child seat or even a booster. I went across to them and told them in what was probably an overly abrupt manner that they should under no circumstances do what they were doing and that i was taking his number down and reporting him. He told me to F off and that he was 'only going up the road anyway'. Oh right thats ok then, accidents never happen on the short trip back from the supermarket... ahem..a little wound up by his lack of care for the people in his care i then told him that if he got back into his car and tried to drive away i would physically stand in front of it and sue him for assault if he drove into me... I know, i know..
upshot is, he got the family back out and went home and got the car seats that they did actually own but didn't see fit to put into the car..FFS
AIBU or should i have minded my own business?

OP posts:
ErrolTheDragon · 27/09/2013 17:22

Bravo, bicycle!

Oh right thats ok then, accidents never happen on the short trip back from the supermarket

yes... when my dad was in an eye hospital, the bloke in the opposite bed had lost his sight because he hadn't had his seatbelt on ... on his own driveway.

notundermyfoof · 27/09/2013 17:23

^absentmindeddooooodles you have no need to justify yourself! I've done exactly that a few times and I bet countless others have too.

Bamboobambino · 27/09/2013 17:23

YABU. Do you pull people up on using mobiles when driving, when speeding or not wearing a seat belt themselves? The police are paid to do this job.
To me, your actions come across as 'any excuse to exercise my right to judge' ... loudly and publicly.
FWIW my twins are secured in a cabriofix/familyfix combo that cost the earth (two of everything) but I'd fully expect to be told to right royally fuck off if I barged in like you did.
Yes, you could give their details/ numberplate to the police and let them do their job. You have then done your bit to try to protect the kids, without the holier than thou speech!

SantanaLopez · 27/09/2013 17:25

Your intentions sound good but your actions were completely over the top and un-necessary.

absentmindeddooooodles · 27/09/2013 17:25

Exactly ghoul....im not a fan of taking the risk, and only do it when necessary, but there really are some circumstances where you just need to get home....or wherever else you need to be. Everytime ive got in a taxi ive asked wetjer they provide car seats....they have all said no.
I dont know aboit anyone else, but car seats for toddlers I think are bloody heavy and bulky, and theres no chance id beable to carry one round town on the off chance of me needing to nip home in a taxi.

ErrolTheDragon · 27/09/2013 17:26

Viasabat

a lot of people carry small babies from the house to the car in the car seat anyway. You might be able to do that for the first year - which is the most important time, babies risk really serious damage before their spines have strengthened.

AnnieLobeseder · 27/09/2013 17:26

Visabat - I can see situations where people take their children without a car seat in a taxi in an emergency. But to plan to do so regularly? Completely irresponsible no matter what your circumstances.

When your baby is small, the car seat will be part of your travel system, so no problem there. When your child gets older, there are inflatable booster seats. The in-between stage will be tricky, but I'm sure there are places you can go for advice.

What I can't imagine is any parent just saying, "sorry, either we never go out or we take the baby out in an unsafe manner and knowingly risk their life regularly" without looking into each and every available option for car safety.

TurnOffTheTv · 27/09/2013 17:26

Just out of interest, did you actually wait by the car for them to come back with the car seats? Surely if they walked home to get them, they would have walked the children home and he would have come back for the car. Am I being hugely dim and missing something??

SantanaLopez · 27/09/2013 17:27

Yeah, I don't believe the last sentence either.

absentmindeddooooodles · 27/09/2013 17:28

Notundermyfoof....exactly. round here it quite common. Alotnof the area is very rural and sometimes you just get caught out.
Also those of us who dont have cars need some way to do big shops etc....

pianodoodle · 27/09/2013 17:28

Wow that's quite a tale!

Very over the top to go blocking people in.

Not that I travel without the car seat, but if it had been me I'd have called your bluff to see how far you were prepared to go. Good job this guy didn't or might have ended nastily ;)

Rachel778 · 27/09/2013 17:28

Amazingly , back in the old days nobody had car seats .. . Babies were often strapped in in their Mothers arms . . or older children sat in seats and seat belt put on . .amazingly most were just fine .

CommanderShepard · 27/09/2013 17:29

So this isn't really an AIBU at all is it? More "validate my actions and give me a virtual medal for my upstanding citizenship".

YABU to potentially put your own safety at risk to prove a point. What about your own children? Do they deserve to have an injured (or worse) mum?

AnnieLobeseder · 27/09/2013 17:30

Rachel778 - amazingly, back in the old days, there were fewer cars on the road and they didn't drive nearly as fast. Amazingly, many children weren't fine.

What a bizarre attitude you have.

absentmindeddooooodles · 27/09/2013 17:31

Exactly....is it worth taking the risk for the sake of your own dc? .......

Viasabat · 27/09/2013 17:32

Annielobseeder how do you think we use a travel system with a guide dog? We have to use a sling!

Erroll the dragon, how do I carry the car seat at the other end plus my shopping and the guide in my left hand?

I am not trying to be difficult I am just pointing out, some of us don't have the luxury of having a car.

Being a disabled parent is hard enough, with out been made to feel crap about things I have to do as I have no choice!

pixiepotter · 27/09/2013 17:36

upshot is, he got the family back out and went home and got the car seats that they did actually own but didn't see fit to put into the car..FFS

..and then a pig flew past?

Does anyone actually believe this bollocks?

Rachel778 · 27/09/2013 17:37

Bizarre ? ? No just a FACT of life back then before seat belts were required by Law and baby seats non existent !! My God some of you are quick to jump aren;t you Annie ?

FACT is in the 1960s and 1970s this occurred, bizarre or not .

absentmindeddooooodles · 27/09/2013 17:38

Dont believe that bit at all pixie.......but judging by the pos replies I believe she may well have stood herself infront of the car and refused to move....

CoffeeTea103 · 27/09/2013 17:40

It's more likely this op was told to F OFF and she is pissed off, so she made up the last bit.
I highly doubt someone will be so obliging as to make his two toddler children, (who this op said got everyone out the car while he went home) wait outside the car just to please her.

And you didn't come here to get opinions as you pointedly ask 'aibu or should I mind my business'. You believe you did the right think so seems like you want a medal for your honorary actions.

Many posters have explained various situations here where it wasn't possible to have the car seat in that instance, does that make them bad parents? Who do you think you are? What's the point of trying to do a good deed yet your attitude stinks.

HenriettaPye · 27/09/2013 17:44

And we are giving our opinions. However if our opinions aren't the same as yours, you are getting arsey with us!

And I really don't believe you stood there while he walked home to bring back car seats. It doesn't even make sense Hmm

Tabby1963 · 27/09/2013 17:48

Wow Pixie that seems an extreme reaction to a post, perhaps you should chill a bit rather than assuming that OP is a liar because they have a different view to you.

Rachel I remember the old adverts on telly in the 'clunk click' days of the 70's. They were really graphic and spelled out clearly what happens to passengers when they are involved in a collision and not wearing a seatbelt. Not for the fainthearted. That is why we have rules about wearing seatbelts, so we minimise death and maiming of people. Have a look on YouTube.

ErrolTheDragon · 27/09/2013 17:49

Erroll the dragon, how do I carry the car seat at the other end plus my shopping and the guide in my left hand?

with difficulty, for sure. A backpack is the only thing I can think of.. but you'll probably need that for nappies etc anyway. I wonder if the Guide Dogs people might have some ideas, or the RNIB?

TurnOffTheTv · 27/09/2013 17:49

Thank god it's not just me who thinks the last bit is bollocks. I thought I was going mad.

Tabby1963 · 27/09/2013 17:51

Coffee and Absent, I think that once the OP threatened to report him, the driver realised that she actually would.

He had a choice, drive away anyway and risk it, or get the car seats. I think he chose wisely, because if stopped he would have received points on his licence and it is possible that he already has some and can't afford any more.