Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parents not having car seats for their children

363 replies

bicyclefish · 27/09/2013 15:50

The other day I came out of the supermarket and saw a couple getting into their car with the lady in the back seat strapped in with a CHILD on her lap (less than a 2 year old) and a slightly older child (maybe 4 or 5 ) strapped in but with no child seat or even a booster. I went across to them and told them in what was probably an overly abrupt manner that they should under no circumstances do what they were doing and that i was taking his number down and reporting him. He told me to F off and that he was 'only going up the road anyway'. Oh right thats ok then, accidents never happen on the short trip back from the supermarket... ahem..a little wound up by his lack of care for the people in his care i then told him that if he got back into his car and tried to drive away i would physically stand in front of it and sue him for assault if he drove into me... I know, i know..
upshot is, he got the family back out and went home and got the car seats that they did actually own but didn't see fit to put into the car..FFS
AIBU or should i have minded my own business?

OP posts:
Original poster
bicyclefish · 30/09/2013 12:34

GangstersLoveToDance - not here to be questioned eh?
Rodger that,
I'll ignore all your questions from now on.
cheers for clarification on your standpoint.

OP posts:
Original poster
bicyclefish · 30/09/2013 12:42

Bamboobambino - i'm sorry my attitude offends you and others.
I get that sometimes as much as I get praise. I covet neither i can assure you.

OP posts:
Original poster
bicyclefish · 30/09/2013 12:47

I came here to ask peoples opinion not to get their blessing or criticism but for people to expect OP's to just put a question up and not retort is both naive and selfish I think.
I think it quite ironic that people like GangstersLoveToDance have completely missed the definition of the word FORUM.
just for them:
FOR-UM
Noun
A meeting or medium where ideas and views on a particular issue can be exchanged.
An Internet message board.

OP posts:
IceBeing · 30/09/2013 12:53

hmm so is Maryz just allowed to troll hunt now? Special exemption or something?

chicaguapa · 30/09/2013 12:55

I could have posted the OP tbh (without the confrontation bit) as I get really judgy about people who don't use car seats. I've always been resolute that DC must always be in a car seat without exception. There have been a couple of incidents where family members haven't ahered to that and there have been big rows.

It's more interesting now as DS is at the age and height where some of his friends' parents have given up the booster seat and DS would jump at the change to ditch his, but he's still 5cm too short and 9 years old. So I won't.

IMO if either of my DCs died in a car accident, the wish to turn back the clock and not be driving along that road at that moment would be overwhelming. To factor in wishing with all my might I'd insisted they'd used a car seat and that their death might have been preventable would tip me over the edge into insanity. Of that I'm sure.

However, I do have a laisez faire attitude towards other people who aren't using car seats and figure that it's their lives they have to live if something dreadful happens as a result. But I do judge and feel sorry for the DC whose parents are clearly uneducated.

Maryz · 30/09/2013 12:58

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
bicyclefish · 30/09/2013 13:03

Maryz - i'm a HE, not a her, just for the record.
and i give as good as i get

OP posts:
IceBeing · 30/09/2013 13:06

Maryz there are still several posts standing in which you accuse the OP of lying though. Surely that's the same thing?

Maryz · 30/09/2013 13:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

IceBeing · 30/09/2013 13:14

fair enough about the reporting...

and there is the obvious 'the other day' 'back in the days before 101' ahem...liberation of the truth...

I just don't like it when people assume bacon is in the air...and post about it.

it against the rules...

Maryz · 30/09/2013 13:21

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Theodorakiss · 30/09/2013 13:30

I would have happily driven over you. Hope you felt like a big clever mummy and whatever must be lacking in your life was forgotten momentarily when you behaved in a completely abnormal and bonkers way. personally I would have thought you were on a day out and would have been looking over your shoulder for the carer.

Theodorakiss · 30/09/2013 13:31

If you are a he I am a bicycle

Theodorakiss · 30/09/2013 13:32

And having bothered to read the whole hilarious thread, the OP isn't just rude but utterly bonkers.

Mmmbacon · 30/09/2013 13:43

I've often wanted to do this but never had the balls, I s say well done and that is coming from personal experience, a close friends daughter went for a spin with her dad, friends ex dh, he crashed neither were wearing sst belts, he broke ribs, friends daughter had life altering brain injury, she spent next 16 months in hospital, and wil be I'm wheel chair needing help for toileting, dressing and feeding for life, so no yadnbu

Theodorakiss · 30/09/2013 13:44

I don't think balls come into it...

Original poster
bicyclefish · 30/09/2013 13:53

Mmmbacon - and i'm sure the fact that this kind of heart breaking accident does happen will have absolutely no effect on those here who frankly seem to exhibit a scary amount of ' it'll never happen to me' thinking mixed with 'well it never did me any harm' head in the sand rationing.
The simple truth is that these parents in this apparently totally made up incident (FFS, really still going with that?) were taking the same calculated risk and falling into the same traps that some of these posters must do on a regular basis, that being thenthinking that THEY are good and safe drivers but failing to recognise that there are an amazing amount of unsafe, uninsured, uncaring people out there and it will be THOSE guys causing the accident not the careful gambling parents...

OP posts:
Original poster
bicyclefish · 30/09/2013 13:54

Theodorakiss - what is it that specifically leads you to the unerring view that I am a female?
Seriously.

OP posts:
Theodorakiss · 30/09/2013 14:03

Because if you are that makes you a bully. Screaming threats at someone in front of their children is really crazy.
I don't really care either way but I really strongly object to your boasting about what you did. It's horrible and you should be ashamed of yourself.

Original poster
bicyclefish · 30/09/2013 14:08

Theodorakiss -
Once again, just for you, there was no screaming nor hysteria, nor boasting. lets try to remember the previous posts eh?
just to clarify though, are you saying it would be OK for a woman to do what you believe i did but not a man? How can you possibly justify that stance?

OP posts:
LaurieFairyCake · 30/09/2013 14:11

I can't even imagine reporting someone for this Confused

Or the smoking thread. Or the weed smoking thread.

I must be the least concerned with other people's business.

friday16 · 30/09/2013 14:14

that being thenthinking that THEY are good and safe drivers but failing to recognise that there are an amazing amount of unsafe, uninsured, uncaring people out there and it will be THOSE guys causing the accident not the careful gambling parents...

Using a car is calculated risk whatever you do. You're just arguing the toss about odds. It's a calculated risk driving a 2001 Fiesta rather than a 2013 S Class Merc, and the difference in accident survival is certainly greater than between using a car seat and using a belt without a car seat. It's a calculated risk driving without a helmet (never mind cycling: if everyone who is in a car wore an FIAA-approved competition helmet a huge number of head injuries would be prevented). It's a calculated risk driving in a car with a standard three-point seat belt rather than buying and fitting (and they're both cheap and road-legal) a four-point harness (a "Willans 4x3", if you're shopping). It's a calculated risk fitting a child seat via a seatbelt rather than Isofix. It's a calculated risk using one of those badly designed "travel systems" that slot on and off a pram frame rather than a purpose-built car seat permanently installed. It's a calculated risk driving at night, when it's raining, when the pubs turn out, with a child in the back crying who's distracting, having not had a good night's sleep.

Why aren't you equally worked up about them? Helmets are cheap: why don't you buy one for your child? Don't you love them enough to keep them safe in the car?

Theodorakiss · 30/09/2013 14:14

No a woman would just be nuts. I know who you are now I think I may have encountered you before, did you have a nickname with "dad" or something in it? Otherwise there are, God forbid, two of you.

and this:
Theodorakiss -
Once again, just for you, there was no screaming nor hysteria, nor boasting. lets try to remember the previous posts eh?
Fuck me that's patronising.

Theodorakiss · 30/09/2013 14:15

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by Mumsnet for breaking our Talk Guidelines. Replies may also be deleted.

friday16 · 30/09/2013 14:16

though, are you saying it would be OK for a woman to do what you believe i did but not a man?

If a man went around carparks, or the road outside your local primary school at finishing time, yelling at women, particular mothers with small children, who he thought weren't safe to drive, he would most almost certainly be arrested for threatening behaviour.

And the MN jury would not be terribly happy were he to come here to plead his case, either.

Swipe left for the next trending thread