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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Parents not having car seats for their children

363 replies

bicyclefish · 27/09/2013 15:50

The other day I came out of the supermarket and saw a couple getting into their car with the lady in the back seat strapped in with a CHILD on her lap (less than a 2 year old) and a slightly older child (maybe 4 or 5 ) strapped in but with no child seat or even a booster. I went across to them and told them in what was probably an overly abrupt manner that they should under no circumstances do what they were doing and that i was taking his number down and reporting him. He told me to F off and that he was 'only going up the road anyway'. Oh right thats ok then, accidents never happen on the short trip back from the supermarket... ahem..a little wound up by his lack of care for the people in his care i then told him that if he got back into his car and tried to drive away i would physically stand in front of it and sue him for assault if he drove into me... I know, i know..
upshot is, he got the family back out and went home and got the car seats that they did actually own but didn't see fit to put into the car..FFS
AIBU or should i have minded my own business?

OP posts:
friday16 · 30/09/2013 10:56

ponders what message he sends out on a day to day basis to the children he/she has

That screeching hysterically in supermarket carparks makes you look a bit of an arse and is best avoided, I think.

heartisaspade · 30/09/2013 10:57

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
bicyclefish · 30/09/2013 10:57

insancerre - just a prediction based on his awesome standards.
BeCool - just a morbid security on my part i guess, plus it IS fun to see others trying to justify their self appointed judicial status on this forum to be honest.

OP posts:
Original poster
bicyclefish · 30/09/2013 11:01

heartisaspade - for the record, had I seen you in your pain and distress i would have done everything in my power to make sure you and yours were safe and well becuase, unlike some of the posters here, I do possess the ability to read a situation and judge accordingly to the circumstances.
Honestly, i'd likely have offered to lend you MY child seats if you wanted them and i'm sure you would have accepted the offer.

OP posts:
jacks365 · 30/09/2013 11:01

If they want me to buy a ticket they should provide a ticket office or a machine instead all they provide is a cold boring platform, you even have to stick your hand out for the train as the stupid stop is request only. Slight exaggeration but you do have to be in view.

Original poster
bicyclefish · 30/09/2013 11:02

friday16 - fairly sure there was no screetching.. please try to stick to the facts in order to make a point or else the point is kind of....not a point?

OP posts:
jenniferturkington · 30/09/2013 11:03

Op yabu. Rediculous way to react.

I use car seats for my dcs in day to day life. If we hire a car on holiday we have car seats there too. But, there are occasions where all my children have travelled in cars without carseats, I feel as their parent that I can weigh up the risk in any situation against the benefits. I would not appreciate being yelled at in a car park or anywhere else.

Maryz · 30/09/2013 11:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster
bicyclefish · 30/09/2013 11:09

jenniferturkington - if you have them use them. whenever possible. THESE guys had them and decided they couldn't be arsed to use em. it was a trip to the supermarket, not a bloody emergency that no-one expected.
can people stop confusing the two scenarios to try to justify their point because its not apple to apples.

OP posts:
Original poster
bicyclefish · 30/09/2013 11:11

Maryz - ?
Are you intimating again that because you don't believe something ergo it is not true?
bless....

OP posts:
heartisaspade · 30/09/2013 11:16

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

friday16 · 30/09/2013 11:19

jenniferturkington - if you have them use them. whenever possible.

Do you use the bus rather than the car whenever possible?

Original poster
bicyclefish · 30/09/2013 11:21

heartisaspade - in principle, i mostly agree with what you are saying and you are clearly a normal thinking , conscientious and caring parent whos children will be in the safest of hands and, as I said before, i wish you all the very best with your new little one.
There are others here whos childrens safety I DO fear for however...

OP posts:
Original poster
bicyclefish · 30/09/2013 11:23

friday16 - Nope.
To expensive and not practical. And not relevant either. Neither do i fly my children to the nearest airport to any destination i may be taking them too.
I assume the 'safer form of transport' angle is where you were mis-misguidedly leading?

OP posts:
mercibucket · 30/09/2013 11:25

mumsyblouse, are you asking if it is dangerous for a child to sit on an adults lap if the adult has a seatbelt on and is holding the child?

yes, it is not at all the same as being in a car seat

at even normal speeds of, say, 30mph, it is not possible to keep hold of a child if the car stops suddenly. the child will be pulled free of your arms and hit the seat in front

if you put the seat belt round you both, your weight moving forward can crush the child on your lap

their own seat belt even without a booster seat is a safer option

Twooter · 30/09/2013 11:31

Not read all the thread, but bicycle fish, I for one am imposed by what you did. I do think it has the potential to put yourself in danger if you do it again, but good for you for sticking up for the kids.

An adult strapped to a child does not act as a carseat. In a crash the pelvises would get smashed together, causing more damage.

A normal seat belt with a small child could break that child's neck in an accident.

Why would people not take sensible precautions to avoid this in the case of an accident.

Twooter · 30/09/2013 11:32

Impressed, not imposed.

mercibucket · 30/09/2013 11:39

sorry, i feel a need to amend my last post, adult seat belts are not suitable either if you dont have a car seat for a very young child. personally i would use them with a seat belt clip for 3+ if that was the only option

friday16 · 30/09/2013 11:46

friday16 - Nope.
To expensive and not practical.

Buses are expensive? In what world?

And surely you don't put mere practicality in front of children and their safety?

GangstersLoveToDance · 30/09/2013 11:50

Do you know what, the situation of the family is not the issue. The dad could have been putting his children in the back with no restraints of any sort whilst doing his best impression of an evil genius and laughing manically whilst he proclaimed 'And I DO have car seats at h

GangstersLoveToDance · 30/09/2013 11:52

...DO have car seats at home, I CHOOSE not to use them! Mwa Ha Ha!'

It was STILL not your place to detain them based on your judgement of them against your own 'moral compass'.

This is AIBU. You've asked the question and the majority answer is yes, YABU.

Original poster
bicyclefish · 30/09/2013 11:55

friday16 - obvious Troll is trolling obviously..
C- must try harder..

OP posts:
Original poster
bicyclefish · 30/09/2013 11:57

GangstersLoveToDance - yes, and I have heard peoples reply.
I asked the question and received the answer from many. Can we still not have a debate though or is it not the kind of forum for that?

OP posts:
GangstersLoveToDance · 30/09/2013 12:00

Bounty has a debates forum. Feel free to take it there.

Bamboobambino · 30/09/2013 12:11

The balance of opinion here seems to be that you were being unreasonable.
The fact that you have raised this issue NOW, given that it happened a few years back (sorry, or was it a few days ago?) implies to me that you have come here for some sort of affirmation fix, despite what you protest.
I have no disagreement that small children should be in baby/child car seats, as per the law, and indeed I and most others on this thread practice this, because I am fortunate enough to have a car and no disabilities.
What gets me is your judge and jury attitude and (allegedly) reckless actions.
Love and kisses- a troll (if that's what you wish to call me)