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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not buy my 11 month old any Christmas presents?

174 replies

sparklyskyy · 27/09/2013 10:05

My baby will be 11 months at Christmas with his 1st birthday a month later.

We have a large family with lots of grandparents, aunts and uncles and friends so he is going to receive a huge number of gifts.

Due to this I decided to not buy him anything because he's not going to have a clue about presents and who from. I'm not doing it to be a tight wad just because he's going to have loads as it is plus we'll be getting asked left, right and centre what everyone should buy him.

Anytime I've told anyone this they have been horrified, including DP to begin with, which has now made me think I am being unreasonable to not buy my son anything for Christmas.

What do you think?

OP posts:
kali110 · 27/09/2013 22:23

So she should spend money on a cheap toy that the child wont even acknowledge and will be surrounded by load of other crap just to make other people feel better?
At this age it isnt your childs pleasure but your own.
I dont remember what i was bought at that age, nor care.
Op if you want to get a stocking or something little then do it, but dont feel like you have to or that your a horrible mum for not doing so!your child is going to be surrounded by all gifts from your family anyway.
Enjoy just spending time at christmas with your little family.

CockBollocks · 27/09/2013 22:24

I spent £20 on some books and little toys. I also bought a Disney tigger dressing gown which I had personalised. That is in his memory box.

YABU - infact neither of my children got lots for the first couple of years, tried to keep the budget to £50.

squoosh · 27/09/2013 22:24

I think the stocking is a lovely idea.

CockBollocks · 27/09/2013 22:27

Whoops, YANBU!!!

CockBollocks · 27/09/2013 22:28

Both of mine also have personalised stockings we use each year!!!

Clearly I am a dream customer for 'not on the high street'!!

squoosh · 27/09/2013 22:32

I was looking at stockings on Not On The High Street. Some of them are over £40! Surely no one loves their kid that much.

Licketysplit123 · 27/09/2013 22:33

YANBU! I did the same last year but caved at the last minute and bought one gift - one of those wooden house advent calendar things because it can used every year. Glad I got it now because it's a lovely thing to keep and a bit expensive to get other years when I will be buying Xmas presents.

Topseyt · 27/09/2013 22:37

I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. I did buy (I think), but can't remember what).

Your baby won't even remember the first Christmas. If I remember rightly, mine at that age were more interested in scrunching the paper any gifts were wrapped in rather than playing with what was inside.

auntmargaret · 27/09/2013 22:40

I was 6 months old at my first Christmas. My parents bought me a dog cuddly toy, I had it forever, through 3 house moves, I cherished it. YABU. It doesn't have to cost much, just be given with love. You sound a bit miserable, tbh.

petswinprizes · 27/09/2013 23:34

YANBU My ds was 7 months at Christmas, we got him a book, nothing flash, just a board story book. I like Lickety's idea of a posh advent calendar thing though - something for the future.

RoadToTuapeka · 27/09/2013 23:39

Both my DSs have birthdays very close to Christmas, one on boxing day and one couple of weeks later. so we also have dilemma of not wanting to get too many 'age appropriate' things that will be no fun by later in the year (both are under 3 at the moment). We got the eldest things that he could open on the days, but could be put away til later in the year when they could be played with better.
Will probably do the same for DS2s first Christmas and birthday. Really the younger ones will love opening anything so presents could be books that they will grow into or other special toys you can bring out later in the year as nice surprises given that there will be no birthdays later in the year for ones born close to Christmas!
I like the idea of a special tree decoration each year, that could be something special.

SugarHut · 28/09/2013 05:09

DS was 6mths for his first Christmas. I bought shedloads. Like you can't imagine. So did Mum, as he is the first and only grandchild. So did Nans, Grandads, and pretty much everybody else. We had more stuff than you could ever give him and he outgrew a lot of it before it even got played with. 2nd Christmas, DS 18mths, he got almost bugger all from me, as yet again he got an insane amount from everyone else and I was keen not to make the same mistake, baby toys are huge chunks of wood or plastic and I wasn't going to flood the place unnecessarily again. I got him his first Dr Seuss, which we will always keep, and I also took a load of photos and made him a "Christmas Album" of him opening pressies, munching his dinner, wearing silly hats, dressed like a banker in a little navy 3 piece. He loves looking back at this already. Would have been even better if I had immortalised his 1st Christmas this way. Maybe you could do that? Then when he asks about his 1st Christmas, you can show him. As long as he has one pressie from you that he can see in the photos, the album will mean lots more to him.

Twiddlebum · 28/09/2013 08:12

My baby will be 2 months at Christmas and is getting a jumperoo. But only because I had bought one anyway because they were on offer on amazon.

2tiredtocare · 28/09/2013 08:17

Mine was 10 days old last Christmas so it's a bit of a blur, I can't remember what I bought if anything

HaveTeaWillSurvive · 28/09/2013 08:32

Pfb was 4 months last Christmas and we bought a few little things to make a stocking and mark our first Christmas as a family.

This year we are away at my parents and he will be spoilt rotten by them so he is getting a lovely low single bed for his room! Logic being he still doesn't really know what's going on, he'll need it eventually and it will make my life a lot easier when he's sick - he will only sleep with me then and I don't get a wink of sleep for fear he'll crawl off our very high bed.

Namechangesforthehardstuff · 28/09/2013 08:35

I have not RTFT. Not all of it. But what about a charity donation? Then in the v fucking unlikely event that they ask later in life you can tell them that you knew they wouldn't remember or need for anything so you gave money to help girls go to school in rural Pakistan or something?

Lililly · 28/09/2013 09:04

Wow, I am glad I never knew about how much others think it is sad not to have presents. Christmas for me involves family coming for a big meal and a good old laugh, no presents to or from extended family, only usually one say £40 thing for my own children, less so when younger (under 8ish) more for the teenagers who have had a bike or a phone.
Never had any complaints, always had a very nice day.

cunexttuesonline · 28/09/2013 10:01

I think they do 'get it' at that age in terms of even at that age they enjoy hanging up a stocking, looking at santa's snack (maybe eating some of it!), opening the door to the living room and yippee there are new toys to play with! My DS was 10mo for his 1st xmas and he got the elc whizz round garage, a big box of blocks and a tractor from santa, all things that he enjoyed playing with on the day and for the next few years!

OnTheRunFromTheAcademe · 28/09/2013 10:13

YANBU. My ds was 9 months last Christmas and I didn't buy him anything. He had more than enough shiny paper and plastic tat to play with from the rest of the family.

Until they can understand what presents are for, I don't really see the point.

jacks365 · 28/09/2013 10:28

Dd4 was 2 months old for her first christmas I filled a stocking with little bath toys and wrapped up a couple of outfits including the one I'd bought her for Christmas day. Things she did need anyway some people wouldn't class them as presents as they are essentials but some would. Clothes in the next size or a special outfit or always a good fall back for a child who gets lots of toys.

Original poster
sparklyskyy · 28/09/2013 11:26

I didn't think my original post would get so many responses!

I'm surprised that people think this makes me miserable Hmm

More people by far agree with me or think I should buy a token something for sentimental reasons which I agree with and will enjoy choosing something for my baby, I had never thought of that before.

OP posts:
HollaAtMeBaby · 28/09/2013 15:32

YANBU. It's like people who buy their pet a Christmas present. What is the point?

"What did you get me for my very first Christmas Mum? Can you remember?"
FWIW my "very first Christmas" (blee!) was over 30 years ago and it has never occurred to me to ask my parents what they got me for it. I couldn't give a rat's ass.

MiaowTheCat · 28/09/2013 16:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kali110 · 28/09/2013 16:36

My god shes cheap And miserable, thats so funny!
Shes not making other people buy things so she doesn't have to. These presents r going to be
anyway, why go out and but more crap to fill the house up with that the baby's really not going to appreciate at the moment?
If your buying presents for them at this age is not them your really buying for its your own pleasure.
Christmas to a lot of people is about being with your family and friends.
Second what others have said and buy something sentimental they can keep. Think the calendars a brilliant idea you cAn get it out every year.

2tiredtocare · 28/09/2013 16:39

Miaow