Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. Only the apps you allow.

Meet the Other Phone.
Only the apps you allow.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not buy my 11 month old any Christmas presents?

174 replies

sparklyskyy · 27/09/2013 10:05

My baby will be 11 months at Christmas with his 1st birthday a month later.

We have a large family with lots of grandparents, aunts and uncles and friends so he is going to receive a huge number of gifts.

Due to this I decided to not buy him anything because he's not going to have a clue about presents and who from. I'm not doing it to be a tight wad just because he's going to have loads as it is plus we'll be getting asked left, right and centre what everyone should buy him.

Anytime I've told anyone this they have been horrified, including DP to begin with, which has now made me think I am being unreasonable to not buy my son anything for Christmas.

What do you think?

OP posts:
howtoboilanegg · 27/09/2013 14:33

YANBU!
My first child is a Jan baby. I did nothing - she had loads of stuff already and more coming for her birthday and she had a lovely day and we have the photos.

However, if your DC is second born or later, you will not get away with it, as the older siblings will not understand why the baby got nothing!

2tiredtocare · 27/09/2013 14:33

A little Xmas pud would be adorable....

AdmiralData · 27/09/2013 14:34

OP, yanbu. I don't remember my first Christmas. The only thing I remember about Christmas as a child is my parents rowing, getting drunk and generally neglecting us. Your 11 month old won't notice. If your lovely baby is anything like mine he will just enjoy you playing with him and involving him in the Christmas dinner etc You could get him a little stocking if you want to. I may be biased as I am Anglican and hate the commercialisation of Christmas and the competitive buying. The extra money I would have spent buying pointless plastic tat for my son will be going on groceries for the food bank in my area, not getting on my high horse but not having a mountain of toys that probably wont be used isn't the end of the world. Good on you OP.

IceCreamForCrow · 27/09/2013 14:34

I'm with Edendance, but then giving dc presents when they were that small was pleasure for me and them so I suppose I got something out of it too.

I do understand the practicalities of what people are saying, all valid points, it was the same for us I suppose looking back. I just wanted to I guess.

EugenesAxe · 27/09/2013 14:35

I think you are being TOTALLY reasonable. However, 'opening' and playing with paper is quite exciting, so if he will not have that on the day when everyone else is doing so, perhaps wrap up some household objects so he gets the 'sensory' experience. If the relations gifts are going to be there to do that with then I wouldn't bother.

I also agree that it would be totally fine to get him a present later, in the summer or just whenever you spot that he would be ready for something or other.

MurkyMinotaur · 27/09/2013 14:35

YANBU but have you considered buying a picture book or two, that your DS can enjoy now or in the future? Maybe one you enjoyed as a child. That can a meaningful, well-used, educational but inexpensive present.

Ragwort · 27/09/2013 14:36

Of course you are not being unreasonable, your baby will have a lovely day & receive so many presents from other people, it's not as if you are all sitting there with a single candle, a scrap of bread and one lump of coal to heat the house Grin.

I hate this idea that Christmas has to be totally about the presents.

And really, who asks anyone else what they are buying their own children for Christmas (excpet on Mumsnet Wink).

2tiredtocare · 27/09/2013 14:36

But not wanting to doesn't make you unreasonable

GaryBuseysTeeth · 27/09/2013 14:36

Yanbu. Ds1 was born just before christmas 2011 and we've not bought him for either of the ones he's been about for. Have plenty of pics of him unwrapping gifts from other people.
We'll get him something this year but ds2 (who will be 4 months) is going without from us, although we may wrap up ds1's old toys for him.

MrsCakesPremonition · 27/09/2013 14:40

You won't be measured or judged by the number of presents your get for your DC, as you say he will have lots of unwrapping to enjoy.
But, it does sound faintly off to let your family and friends buy him gifts and then use that as an excuse not to buy him anything yourselves, as though you are saving yourself some money at their expense.
I'd put some money aside for your DC at Christmas and then buy him something fab in the spring for use in the garden. My DD is a November baby and it is nice to be able to treat her in the summer, rather than her getting all her presents in a lump in the middle of winter.

Edendance · 27/09/2013 14:42

I know that they won't 'get it' but I don't think that's really the point, at least it isn't to me anyway.

I love giving presents and find the whole process really enjoyable so maybe if you're one of those who finds it more of a chore then it's a more difficult opinion for me to appreciate.

TooMuchRain · 27/09/2013 14:43

YANBU, I hate the spending money=love equation that some people are making here

MrsTerryPratchett · 27/09/2013 14:50

Put some money in an education fund. That's what I and most of the relations did for DD. She is almost three and has more money in savings than me.

When he is 18 and can go to University without debt, you can tell him that is his first present form you.

mrsjay · 27/09/2013 14:52

nobody said that toomuchrain and tbh if the op felt like you do they would tell their friends and family not to get the baby any presents for Christmas , I think a babies first christmas can be fun for the parents you dont have to spend a lot to buy a small gift ,

2tiredtocare · 27/09/2013 14:55

I don't think anyone finds it 'a chore' that's very simplistic

Emilyeggs · 27/09/2013 15:49

I don't buy my boy toys often at all so will be getting him something even though he will be nearly one. And DoJo, I'll be doing it online :) playing my own Xmas music at home. I love Xmas music, I listen to it not just at Christmas. Grin

Barbeasty · 27/09/2013 15:54

How about buying a voucher so you can get something in 6 months, either slightly more grown up toys or next size clothes. Then you won't decide in 6 months you don't have the cash & won't bother.

Or just wrap up something you'd need around then- age 12-18 months clothes, someone earlier suggested the next car seat.

I feel a bit sorry for DS having his birthday 11 days before Christmas and then waiting a year. Especially between age 1 &2 their interests become much more sophisticated. It was so much easier for DD with 6 months between.

ceeveebee · 27/09/2013 15:55

Our twins were 12 months in November, we got them lovely presents for birthday (wooden rocking horse and an activity cube thing). We didn't get them anything for that Christmas other than two small plastic toys. Just did not see the point, GPs and other family all bought loads and there is only so much they can play with at once!
This year is different, they'll kind of know what's happening so we'll get them a stocking and a big present each.

Sparklysilversequins · 27/09/2013 15:58

I think people who post this kind of thing just want a big pat on the back for being so sensible.

I think it's tight.

flippingebay · 27/09/2013 16:00

My dd's birthday is in January so for her 1st Xmas we didn't get her anything Smile

She's never once asked what we got her for her first Xmas. I guess some people are more sentimental than others

eatyouwithaspoon · 27/09/2013 16:25

What about a lovely special story book that you can read to them at bedtime that they can keep (you could write in the cover a little note then you will have proof you got them something Grin) and some money in the bank if you can afford it and a few bits of tat in a stocking. If yu have a big family they will get plenty of niosy flashy tat from them Grin

squoosh · 27/09/2013 16:29

I always think that too Sparklysilversequins. A stealth boast in being solidly sensible.

Wahla · 27/09/2013 16:30

DD1 (but DC4) will also be 11 months at Christmas and is only getting one present as we are already awash with toys and no doubt she will get plenty from other sources.

It is a special present though as I'm going to have her a memory bunny made up from her newborn sleepsuits.

PandaG · 27/09/2013 16:42

DD didn't need anything - second child, adoring GPs and aunts, so for her first birthday we bought a really decent backpack for us to carry her in on family walks - we'd borrowed one for DS. DS chose her a book from him, and she had plenty of presents from other people.

BigBoobiedBertha · 27/09/2013 16:51

Could you buy a stocking that you can use year after year? It would be a present in itself and something that will remind you of the first Christmas? It wouldn't seem wasted then. Don't tell anybody you are buying it - it sounds like somebody else will pinch the idea if you did. I would put something small like a book in it. For all the presents he will be given elsewhere you have plenty of choice with books. You could buy something he will enjoy much later on, when the new baby novelty has worn off and/or you have more children for your family to spoil. A collection of classic stories for example.

And to the person who thought that all Christmas presents come from Father Christmas, no they don't! Presents from friends and family come from friends and family. Presents from FC are totally separate. How can your child thank the right person (when they are older) if they think FC bought everything?

FWIW, I remember exactly what I bought DS1 and DS2 for their first Christmases and they are 13 and 10- nothing flashy or particularly exciting but I still remember. To say nobody will remember simply isn't true. They don't remember of course except we have photos which they have looked at over the years. They haven't been interested in what we bought but the fact we bothered at all.

Swipe left for the next trending thread