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AIBU?

To not buy my 11 month old any Christmas presents?

174 replies

sparklyskyy · 27/09/2013 10:05

My baby will be 11 months at Christmas with his 1st birthday a month later.

We have a large family with lots of grandparents, aunts and uncles and friends so he is going to receive a huge number of gifts.

Due to this I decided to not buy him anything because he's not going to have a clue about presents and who from. I'm not doing it to be a tight wad just because he's going to have loads as it is plus we'll be getting asked left, right and centre what everyone should buy him.

Anytime I've told anyone this they have been horrified, including DP to begin with, which has now made me think I am being unreasonable to not buy my son anything for Christmas.

What do you think?

OP posts:
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nokidshere · 13/10/2013 17:05

Of course they don't know what's going on all they know is that's there is lots is attention and cool stuff
To play with (ie boxes and paper)

YANBU for my youngest we
Just wrapped toys that his older brother had had and he opened them -
What's the point of spending money if you don't have to? My oldest was 4 weeks old at Christmas and got tons
From everyone else and we didn't get him anything

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magicberry · 12/10/2013 14:12

I always have to get a little something even if it's only a tenner or so - now I have older kids I wouldn't want them thinking Father C had left their brother out. (That's a whole other thread I know...)

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Justforlaughs · 11/10/2013 18:06

I don't think YABU and wish I could have been so sensible about it myself, but fact is that I love shopping and Christmas and I just see an excuse to spend money! I really like the idea of buying a personalised stocking or wooden advent calendar - those reusable advent calendars are great but we have ripped so many felt ones and I can't afford to buy the wooden ones now, I wish I had done that for their first Christmases.

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IHaveA · 11/10/2013 16:01

Sounds like a good idea. He will be happy with the wrapping paper from you and your DPs presents. You can always buy something for him later in the sales or in the springtime when something comes up that he needs,

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Blankiefan · 01/10/2013 22:08

You are being absolutely reasonable. I'm pg, due early Nov so our dc1 will be about eight weeks old at Xmas. I've not even considered buying the baby Xmas pressies (and hope others don't bother much either given they are likely to have just bought "new baby" gifts) - it seems a bit absurd and totally unnecessary frankly...

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2tiredtocare · 01/10/2013 13:47

Almost snap Rooners, my baby boy (DC3) will be 1 the week before Christmas

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cornflakegirl · 01/10/2013 13:27

YANBU. I can't remember what we got DS1 for his first christmas. For DS2 we brought down age appropriate clothes and toys that we'd put away after DS1 and wrapped them up. He was only 4 months, so the wrapping was entirely for DS1's benefit.

However, I have a christmas music book that has an inscription indicating that it was given to me by my uncle on my first christmas. I obviously don't remember, and I couldn't play the music for years, but it does mean something to me now.

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Rooners · 01/10/2013 13:03

HOWever I do think the significance of everyone having a gift is important and therefore he will have his own stocking, and at least one thing for a present on the day.

I love buying them all presents and probably go OTT if anything, so I'm not tight by any means but I do think babies are kind of beyond the whole fuss really. People hiring halls and discos for their 2yo's birthday make me a bit worried, too.

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Rooners · 01/10/2013 13:00

Ds3 is going to be 1 about a week after Christmas and I think it's all going to be a mish mash with presents tbh,

he will have something from my parents, and my sister and SIL and a few things from me and his brothers, probably for both occasions - I don't know. We don't have a big family.

But with children that little, they don't understand the significance of a particular day and also developmentally they do need new things frequently anyway, so one or two things I had bought him have already been given to him, as he wanted that sort of thing at that point iyswim.

He will probably enjoy the wrapping paper more than anything.

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melliebobs · 01/10/2013 12:59

Dd was 10 month last Xmas. We got her a decoration for the tree (not a 1st baby one) and got her 1-2 small presents as she had plenty off grandparents. As it turned out is was so overwhelming for her and a lot goin on so glad we didn't splurge loads of cash. Smile

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JadziaSnax · 01/10/2013 12:55

I know exactly what you mean. DD will be 1 a fortnight after Christmas and I know she'll get tons from family, then same again two weeks later. I'm just going to do a stocking and a couple of small gifts.

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Lora1982 · 01/10/2013 10:04

hi Wux!!

Dexter will be two ish weeks off turning one Shock due to the lack of funds becaause im taking three months extra mat leave unpaid we aren't buying anything. I will no doubt make a stocking and start a bauble tradition for him, just because I think it adds to their excitement each year if theres a tradition.

He'll get hundreds of presents and so with his b'day just after we'll save our pennies this year.

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ipswichwitch · 29/09/2013 11:19

Dc2 will be about 10 days old on Christmas Day, and there's no way in hell I'm traipsing around shops that close to Christmas with a newborn and 2 year old just so I don't look mean Hmm
I refuse to buy a present before he/she is here so I will put some money aside and get something when LO is about 6 months and will at least be interested in stuff. I plan on keeping birthday presents for both DC (DSs birthday is October) fairly minimal in future so we can get them something spring/summer time and all the present giving isn't bunched together.

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Wuxiapian · 29/09/2013 11:00

YANBU.

My DS will be 11 months at. Christmas, too. We plan to buy maybe a couple of very small things just to open - bits that he needs, but, like your DS, he'll be receiving so many presents, he really won't know what's from who.

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monkeymamma · 29/09/2013 10:44

My ds was 11mo last Xmas and I went wild on pressies, only to find he received so many that we didn't even get chance for him to open the ones from us. Which made me very stressed (trying to get through the pressies from others) and sad (seeing all the unopened gifts at then end of the day). For his 1st birthday we got him one small thing and then focussed on enjoying the day!

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monkeymamma · 29/09/2013 10:44

My ds was 11mo last Xmas and I went wild on pressies, only to find he received so many that we didn't even get chance for him to open the ones from us. Which made me very stressed (trying to get through the pressies from others) and sad (seeing all the unopened gifts at then end of the day). For his 1st birthday we got him one small thing and then focussed on enjoying the day!

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blondefriend · 29/09/2013 10:26

YANBU - my children will be 3 and 5 this christmas and they wouldn't notice if they got nothing from DH and myself because of the volume of pressies from everyone else. Even their stockings would have bits in because the family always think of small things for people during the year and just put them in the stockings. I can't remember what I bought each of mine for their first Christmas. TBH one was only a week old and still in hospital and the other was very poorly so I expect we saw Christmas in a slightly different light those years.

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LifeOfPee · 28/09/2013 21:12

YANBU. My DS will 8 months at Christmas. I don't intend on buying him a present or at least nothing like the amount/cost that will go on my 11 year old DD because he won't have a clue what's going on and there'll be plently more Christmasses to come when he'll get tonnes of presents from us.

I will definitely be starting his Christmas decoration collection though and that will probably be a Baby's 1st Christmas type of thing.

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SparkleToffee · 28/09/2013 21:11

I bought both if mine ( among a few other little bits ) things they needed like dressing gown , warm slipper socks, also put balloons in a box and a small teddy. Then for 1st bday I had a large photo frame made up with their name cut out and s picture of them in their first year behind each letter. They still have them in their bedroom now. So if you don't want to buy plastic, rather than them not have anything why not get them something they can keep . Or you could make things like bottles full of water and glitter - babies love shaking things like that but when interest wanes you can throw them away.

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sparklyskyy · 28/09/2013 21:02

Grin to Miaow

Yes it is such a "inconvenience paying for anything for my own kid" Hmm

I find it mildly amusing how you have have came to the conclusion that I am cheap and want everyone else to provide for it all.

My son will have several hundreds of presents so will thankfully not be deprived from the joy of ripping shiny paper.

I think you are being a touch melodramatic when you say "there was no way I could have lived with the feeling of not buying them gifts".

Thank you for making me Smile

OP posts:
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morethanpotatoprints · 28/09/2013 18:06

Mine didn't get anything for first Christmas neither, we were skint and everybody else bought for them, and with dd its her b'day in January . When they got older everything came from Father Christmas and family members. They have never expected anything off us.
They will never know if you did or didn't buy anything, YADNBU there's more important stuff to worry about.

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OrangeMochaFrappucino · 28/09/2013 17:57

My DS was 3 days old for his first Christmas. He did have a stocking and presents - my nephews were greatly concerned that Father Christmas might not get to us in hospital :) If, however, he asks me in future what we gave him for his first Christmas I will gaze at him blankly as it is all a sleep-deprived newborn haze now.

We definitely did that for our benefit rather than his. The following year he got great enjoyment out of his stocking and other gifts but with such a close birthday and Christmas it is hard to get things as he gets tons from family so I understand the OP's point and think small and meaningful is the way to go.

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IamSlave · 28/09/2013 16:43

i think what some people get for little ones is obscene esp when struggling for money.

You don't have to go to Hamleys and buy inflated prices crap.

What about a little token gift, or babys first xmas etc...

chairty shops, they dont know where its from...

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TrueStory · 28/09/2013 16:40

yanbu, but i remember my mother looking aghast at my decision.

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2tiredtocare · 28/09/2013 16:39

Miaow

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