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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To think if you say home at 8pm you come home

41 replies

Chattymummyhere · 26/09/2013 20:55

Instead I had an over tired child wondering why daddy did not come home to out him to bed... The answer because his too busy bloody bowling than to stick to his deal!!

Wibu to lock the shite out purely because of how much he has upset our child?

OP posts:

hashtagwhatever · 26/09/2013 20:57

where is he?

Original poster

Chattymummyhere · 26/09/2013 20:58

Bowling phones off or dead

OP posts:

hashtagwhatever · 26/09/2013 20:58

oh sorry didn't read your op properly.

LEMisdisappointed · 26/09/2013 21:03

Does this happen frequently?

Original poster

Chattymummyhere · 26/09/2013 21:04

Being late in general yes

OP posts:

PurpleFairy3 · 26/09/2013 21:07

If this is a frequent thing then I don't think YABU. If it's a one off, I might be a little more forgiving... although I would expect a call to say "I'm going to be late" at the very least!

livinginwonderland · 26/09/2013 21:12

If it's regular, YANBU. It's so frustrating, especially when they don't even call to explain, and especially if he said he'd be home to kiss your DS goodnight.

WorraLiberty · 26/09/2013 21:17

YANBU to be annoyed

But YWBU to lock him out of his own home

Apart from the fact you can't legally do it, he's going to be banging on the door and waking your DS up surely?

WandaDoff · 26/09/2013 21:19

I wouldn't lock him out.

I might go & clean the toilet with his toothbrush though.

londonmum14 · 26/09/2013 21:52

I'd lay on the emotional guilt in the morning of how upset DC was that his daddy wasn't back in time to say goodnight. Though as this isn't the first time then I guess that's not going to work!

Original poster

Chattymummyhere · 26/09/2013 22:42

I like the toilet toothbrush idea... Tbh if he started hammering on the door I would call the police I reckon that's very threatening behaviour more so when I know bowling also includes alcoholic drinks..

I messaged one of the lads he was out with to pass on a message about our child... Turns out this mate told me he would pass the message on and did not!! Dh is fuming with said mate, apparently he thought ds would of fallen asleep on the sofa and would come home and lift him to bed, my message was to say that ds was still up awake and very upset... But friend totally lied and never passed on the message so dear friend is going to get it in the neck at work tomorrow, as it appears he did not pass it on purely to keep dh out having fun with him..

I've told dh X is no friend of mine if he is going to lie to me and withhold information that would of made dh come straight home.. So X is no longer my friend and if someone can have some little care for an upset child over a drinking/bowling buddy he can stay the hell away from my kids best man at our wedding or not!

OP posts:

SweetSeraphim · 26/09/2013 22:45

Blimey. I honestly think you should calm down a bit. You're massively overreacting.

FunnysInLaJardin · 26/09/2013 22:49

I thought you were talking about a teenaged child. The guilt thing about your DC is naff. 8pm isn't late although breaking promises is not on. That bit about the best man is bonkers btw

whois · 26/09/2013 22:52

Um. Right. Sounds awesome.

SweetSeraphim · 26/09/2013 22:55

So when you couldn't get hold of him you tried to guilt his mate instead? Why? Your child isn't I'll or anything

SweetSeraphim · 26/09/2013 22:55

*ill obviously

GeeTeeEff · 26/09/2013 22:58

Erm, firstly calm down.

Secondly, do you know for definite the friend didn't pass the message on? Sounds like a likely excuse to me. I wouldn't have even text the friend. It's a bit...I dunno, an over reaction. Fair enough your H said he'd be home at 8pm. It's not the end of the world. I'd have snuggled up with dc, an extra bedtime story and cuddle.

Tinpin · 26/09/2013 23:00

Good grief. What a fuss about nothing. Put the child to bed and tell him daddy will see him in the morning. Have you never stayed out later than you said when you were enjoying yourself?

WhoNickedMyName · 26/09/2013 23:03

Your DS's upset probably stemmed from him picking up on your anger and upset. I think you're massively over-reacting.

CoffeeTea103 · 26/09/2013 23:05

Massive overreaction. How do you know if your DH is telling the truth about his friend not giving you the message? He didn't keep his promise to come home at 8, so why do you think he isn't lying about this too?
Also did you made up some excuse to your son just to get him to sleep rather than be more concerned about trying to get your DH to come home.

SaucyJack · 26/09/2013 23:05

How often does he do it?

You sound like a complete fishwife on this thread tbh, but if he frequently goes out on the piss without any consideration for his wife and child waiting for him at home then this is prob. just the straw that broken the camel's back.

MrsTerryPratchett · 26/09/2013 23:11

The friend excuse sounds like me telling my parents that I was holding the cigarette for a friend.

sweetestcup · 26/09/2013 23:24

But surely if he had promised to be home he wouldn't need his friend to remind him, or am I missing something?

Waferthinmint · 26/09/2013 23:26

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Original poster

Chattymummyhere · 27/09/2013 12:57

Ok I was was bu my mumsnet vote

The back story was on Tuesday he said he was not going to go as I have been really ill, yesterday morning he decides he is dispite the fact I was still very ill. We thought it started at 7pm which meant he would of been here to put the kids to bed then I could just basically go to bed but then found out it started at 6pm so he said he would be back for 8 to put our eldest to bed, as by the time he normally gets in the children are in the bath just about to go to bed so it's the only thing he ever really does with then on weekdays.

Dh is always always late he barely gets him self to work on time and has 6 different alarms that he hits snooze on, do I believe it won't happen again? No he properly will be late again...

Do I believe the story about the friend yes I do, his the only single guy out of the ones who went and is the type of person who wouldn't want anything to take the shine of his plan for a night, we get it all the time and I've seen the texts when dh does not want to go play football about "how his letting the team down" his not on the team, "he will fuck everything up if he does not turn up", "he must come and play or else" those types of texts.

I text asking firstly if I could pass a message on to dh, I never went in all guns blazing, once I had a response from the friend I text my message just fact fully telling him that our child was very upset and wanted his daddy, I sent no more texts after that one.

As you can guess I did not lock him out, I was not angry infront of my child I got him into bed and told him daddy should be home very soon to come give him a kiss goodnight as that was the only thing that stopped his meltdown, I was disappointed for my child who was so upset that his daddy did not stick to their deal.

OP posts:

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