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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think my brother should buy me a pram?

90 replies

AnnunziataSono · 26/09/2013 18:37

He wants me to mind my nephew for one day a week, which is fine. But I will need a double buggy because I will have two babies! He said we can go half and half, but I really resent that. He said there's no point in him buying something that he won't be able to use.

OP posts:
AbiRoad · 26/09/2013 19:09

My brother is like this with my parents. I find it very strange, firstly that he thinks it an appropriate way to act and secondly that they go along with it. The have bought carseats etc becuase he does not want to move his carset into their car when they look after DN and is not prepared to fork out for another one.
Why is your SIL happy for her child to be looked after by someone she does not get on with. That is also very strange.

Why do you feel you need to agree to his terms? If I was happy to do this it would be on terms that he pays for any equipment I would not otherwise need, plus nappies, food, classes etc, plus treats me from time to time for being so kind!

hermioneweasley · 26/09/2013 19:10

You don't get on with SIL? FFS, why are you doing this? It's such a huge favour\ massive imposition

Redlocks30 · 26/09/2013 19:12

Why on earth would you do this??

GatoradeMeBitch · 26/09/2013 19:19

It's simple then OP - no double buggy, no free childcare... Tell him to pay for a childminder, they have double buggies - and with a month or so of their fees paid they'd be able to buy yet another one!

TheSydenhamSet · 26/09/2013 19:30

I'm genuinely curious to know why you have agreed to look after your nephew without being paid? That's a big undertaking.

Moxiegirl · 26/09/2013 19:33

My dp looks after his baby nephew one day a week as he is a sahd with our 2 youngest while I work. He comes with everything he needs though!
Dp doesn't get paid but when we want a favour doing we know who to ask !
Tell him if he wants free childcare he buys the buggy.

onlysettleforbutterflies · 26/09/2013 19:50

My dsis looks after my ds 2 days a week free of charge and has done since he was 9 months, now 2.9. She has a dd 6 weeks older and I have so far bought 2 double buggies, high chair and a car seat to keep at hers. I have also bought a few toys and her dd an outfit to say thanks once a month. I give her food money and moneyfor any aactivities she takes them too weekly. She won't accept any more money and I am so grateful to her for everything she does, he loves going. I try really hard not to take the piss and she gets extra treatsat cChristmas and birthday. I think your brother needs a wake up call, he should be ashamed with his attitude, you are doing him a massive favour.

I got my double buggies off ebay for about £30.

Sockywockydoodah · 26/09/2013 19:55

Tell us you're not going to agree, OP?

MortifiedAdams · 26/09/2013 19:58

"I dont have the equipment to manage two babies at the same time" and leave it at that.

Original poster
AnnunziataSono · 26/09/2013 19:58

I am scared he will ask my mum to do it and she is too old to cope but she won't say no to him.

I'd like to do it, I love my nephew and it will keep the peace. My brother really rules the roost.

OP posts:
dopeysheep · 26/09/2013 20:01

I bought a double buggy for my friend who was looking after my two. Wouldn't have dreamt of asking her to cough up, and I was paying her!

Has your brother always wrung you out to dry? Time to say enough is enough.
Greedy freeloader. Sorry OP.

raisah · 26/09/2013 20:01

Make your life easy & avoid a fall out laterby refusing to take your nephew. Families & business arrangements just dont mix, you may start to feel that he is taking advantage of your generosity. You are saving him about £80 a week, my cm charges £40 per child per day. It is better that you have the relationship of sister with him rather than cm because the lines will become blurred. Too much potential for a permanent falk out.

Lweji · 26/09/2013 20:02

Tell him you won't mind your nephew if he asks your mother for the money.

Lweji · 26/09/2013 20:03

Is that every day?
Will he have meals at your place?

I think you do need to ask for some payment.

CeliaLytton · 26/09/2013 20:04

YANBU

Catsize · 26/09/2013 20:08

This is going to end badly. Back out now!

BitchTeeRiskit · 26/09/2013 20:09

Sad Just read the latest post about your mum.

Your brother is a cock.

clam · 26/09/2013 20:15

This will End. In. Tears.

Mark my words.

Redlocks30 · 26/09/2013 20:18

He sounds like an idiot. When he complains you've fed the baby something he doesn't like or let him have a nap too late or he's got nappy rash, what will do you? Post on here saying AIBU to be upset he'd said this? Please just don't do it. Just don't-you will regret it for ever and he will use it as a stick to beat you with.

Have you already agreed? Back out, now.

CharlieAlphaKiloEcho · 26/09/2013 20:21

Speaking from bitter experience I would say if you're going to do this then lay down the law at the very start.

I watched my nephew full time and it really effected my relationship with DB and SIL. They never paid me which was fine but I did try to ask for a bit towards food and it never happened. They never returned the favour either and that was the hardest thing to cope with as I felt very used.

We did go half on the double buggy though. Picked up a cheap maclaren twin techno never again

After 18 months our situations changed and I stopped watching him. I never even got a bunch of flowers to say thanks and I have to admit it really hurt.

It really did damage what was a great relationship before Sad

BUT, I'd probably do it again as my nephew is pretty great! In fact, I will be covering one morning a week but it's been arranged as a childcare swap this time so I'll get an afternoon free :)

WaitMonkey · 26/09/2013 20:37

Don't do it.

CupOCoffee · 26/09/2013 20:48

If he rules the roost and its something that needs the peace keeping about it . . . then more reason to say no! He needs to learn not to be so entitled, take the piss and that he's not in charge over all of you!

Grow a back bone! He's a piss taker.

Cheeky fucker expecting 52 days of free childcare a year, not return the favour and for you to pay for the privilege!

CupOCoffee · 26/09/2013 20:59

So you're going to be saving him about 2 grand a year and he won't even buy the buggy!

Redlocks30 · 27/09/2013 18:01

Have you decided what to do?

Turniptwirl · 27/09/2013 19:08

Don't look after your nephew , this arrangement sounds doomed from the beginning and I think it'll end up costing you money while saving him a fortune