keeping my money for myself, but asking for some of the OH profit in house sale

[Gingernutz]

So, before my OH and I got together, I owned a house and they owned a house.
We got together, I moved into THEIR house and rented my house out.
we BOTH paid into a joint account for about 7 years and split the mortgage payments and household/living expenses equally (based on income) on the house we were living in, and for the last three years i have been the sole contributor to the joint account, whilst the other house (my old one) ticked along paying for itself via tenants.
Last year I sold my house eventually and got a nice little sum of £'s.
We are now going to sell the house we are living in. My question..
AIBU if I keep all of the profit from my house AND expect a percentage of the profit the new house has made from the date i have been contributing/paying the mortgage?
My OH believes that we should also spilt the profit made from the sale of my house because we just happened to have chose THEIR house to live in, but I say, imagine that i had SOLD my house as soon as i moved out of it to move into the OH's house and the invested that money into, say, stocks and shares which then went on to make a nice profit (about the same as the profit i made on my initial investment in the house for instance!) would they THEN be entitled to that profit? I see the keeping on of the house as a continuing INVESTMENT of my money, so my OH has no claim on any of it, but when i started contributing to the mortgage of the OH's house, i TOO became a joint investor in THAT investment...
Emotion aside, what are peoples thoughts on this?
(sorry for length..and that something i NEVER thought i'd be saying)...

[MissStrawberry]

Your OP and further posts did not make sense.

Your title was not a little misleading, it was the opposite of what you later claimed.

You didn't answer fair questions and then start saying you have had abuse when you hadn't.

Make sense. Don't contradict yourself. Be concise. You will get plenty of advice then.

[Gingernutz]

By the way, is it still law that if a married couple split up, then everything gets split 50/50 anyway (unless there are other agreements in place negating that)?

[PatPig]

Yes of course your gender has a bearing on the situation.

In the OP you paint the scenario that your OH has mysteriously stopped paying into the joint account, after seven years. You give no explanation for this, but argue that this entitles you to a share of your OH's house.

Now it turns out that you have children.

I have suggested that you are the father and your wife gave up work to have children, as is very common with families, and 95% of the time WOMAN gives up her career, enabling the MAN to continue working, which otherwise might be impossible (if HE had to look after the children).

If your wife has made that sacrifice then she is contributing just as much as you are. The money that you are earning while she has been raising your children is equally hers.

[onlytheonce]

Why not spread your life out, it's anonymous. And how can you expect a serious answer without answering things such as whether you have children with this person and if you are married?

[MrsTerryPratchett]

self fulfilling prophecy. I thought you would all be sexist, I acted as if you would be, you closed ranks (unsurprisingly), now LOOK I'm right.

If you ask here, try to adhere to a little forum etiquette. If you want 'nice' for example, there is Netsmums...

[cestlavielife]

it goes down to trusts of land act TOLATa
unless you both were named as joint owners on both houses then yes your hous was yours and their house was/is theirs and your profis are yours and theirs are theirs.

if you paid contributions it is more like you rented in their house - so unless your name was put on land registry/mortgage it doesnt matter under TOLATA what you paid, you have no right to their profit/equity. (only if you paid for eg massive extension or conservatoy or soemthing physical like that)


so unless you got married/civil partnership
or
had your name put as joint owner
then whats theirs is theirs an whats yours is yours

if they want to gift you anything - up to them.
ditto for you

if there are children for whom they have parnetal responsibility then there might be a claim for the children

you or they might be able to claim under TOATA as "a person who has an interest in a property but whose name does not appear on the Title to the property." you would ahve to to prove that inerest. but "renting" does not prove interest...I dont get any equity profit if my landlord from whom i rent decides to sell ....

see for example www.sleeblackwell.co.uk/page/cohabitation-or-living-together-agreements.html

[TinyTear]

my head hurts!

but at least the OP used they and them and not ze said and zer house and zis house and things I saw on other forums that really made my head hurt!

[cestlavielife]

that link says : "•That you can claim a share in your partner’s house which you have lived in because you have paid bills or have had children together: Not true."

[Gingernutz]

PatPig - what usually happens, i wont pluck a percentage out of the air becuase that would be nonsense, is that whoever is the higher earner stays in work, that is basic economical sense. That is what happend in our case when yes, as a man (shock horror, i knew it was man, should have realised from the quote at the very end of the ORIGINAL POST that it was a man etc, etc) I continued working and my wife and I AGREED that it would cost us too much to pay for the childcare of two children if she and I stayed in full time employment, so being the lesser earner, she stopped her job (not ALWAYS the same a s a career i can assure you). I don't think i have ever said that my wife has 'not contributed' in any way so climb back down from that soapbox/high horse.
Please.

[wakemeupnow]

I think legally , if you got married and moved into his house, then all your assets from before the mariage would remain your assets. You have been contributing to his mortgage and therefore are entitled to a share of the profits. I think that legally he's not entitled to any of yours.

However morally , given that he's your life partner I think it would be fairer to share the profits.

[wakemeupnow]

Oh shit I shouldn't have just skimmed through the previous posts ... I see it's more complicated .. ignore what I just said ... !

[onlytheonce]

Oh give over ginger. In your OP you implied that as you have been the sole contributor for the last 3 years you deserve some share of the house. Can you really not see that that is how it comes across?

And yes people on here can be touchy about this, because women in general get screwed over when they have kids. Your gender does make a difference.

[Gingernutz]

wakemeupnow - i think you were wise to skip....
my original question/s were actually more to do with what is MORALLY right or wrong,not specifically legally wrong or right.
As i have said, this stems from my OH's desire to have something 'in reserve' if it all goes tits up which I too find pretty hurtful TBH, but there we go...
I am in this for the duration and so in the end, it's all going to the kids anyway (isn't that what we are ALL doing it for??)

[lucidlady]

Ginger, was this meant to be a reverse AIBU, in that you are the one who wants to share everything but your wife is resisting?

If so then yes she is being unreasonable.

[Gingernutz]

onlytheonce - well, it shouldn't make a difference to the facts but once emotion and 'female intuition and logic' gets in the way of facts it gets messy and somewhat biased.

[Gingernutz]

lucidlady - Is she though?
she is feeling 'once bitten' and all that, which is a little understandable but why is there the expectation that we have of "whats mine is yours and whats yours is mine"?

[Wuldric]

This thread is an abject lesson to women that:

1. Put not your trust in men. Put your trust in yourself
2. Do not give up your financial independence. 50% of marriages end up in divorce. If you give up your independence and get divorced, you're the mug who ends up hoping to goodness their exes will be civilised enough to pay what they owe.
3. Most people - not just men - are capable of believing they are in the right as they screw you over. Royally.

I don't know what gender the OP is, but nevertheless, he/she seems to me to be a miserly and niggardly person. You can delete me for this if you will MN. But the agenda is screwing the other person over, which is not a good thing.

[Gingernutz]

I think it comes down to her wanting to have a 60/40% share in the new house because thats the kind of ratio we will be putting in financially.
I feel that it hurts a bit that she feels the need for this and her opinion is that its "just in case we split" and she needs to be able to provide for the children, as though I am going to be one of the arse fathers who basically take from the kids... like i would ever take the roof from my childrens heads...
Am i STILL the 'Twat' here then?

[PatPig]

"but once emotion and 'female intuition and logic' gets in the way of facts it gets messy and somewhat biased."

lol.....

[lucidlady]

Ginger, I think you hit the nail on the head when you said it is about your kids and your family. You are a unit - its all for one and one for all, in my view. Why would you have his and hers shares if it isn't done fairly? She can't hae it both ways. Either she keeps her money and you keep yours, or you BOTH share.

[YouHaveAGoodPoint]

your OP is very confusing... I promise my opinion would be the same whatever your sex was.

I think you should both pool all the money/profits etc. It always seems odd to me that people will happily share their genetic composition but not their cash.

Share everything . (If each of your want your own little nest egg you could each take an equal amount to have as your own money)

[Gingernutz]

Wuldric you have failed to grasp the whole concept of the thread and the direction from which I come which, unlike your own bitter direction, is one of wishing to have a holistic view of my relationship and finance. you seem to be both bemoaning the very same thing that you are eulagising about in the very same post! most strange...

[lucidlady]

Just to clarify, I have been in this situation so I speak from experience. My DH and I originally bought our house on a 60:40 basis 5 years ago. It is now 50:50 because we made some major capital improvements to the house that he paid for, and I felt it only fair that his additional investment also be recognised from an equity point of view.

[Gingernutz]

and Wuldric , i am most def. a man.
Not a he/she.