keeping my money for myself, but asking for some of the OH profit in house sale

[Gingernutz]

So, before my OH and I got together, I owned a house and they owned a house.
We got together, I moved into THEIR house and rented my house out.
we BOTH paid into a joint account for about 7 years and split the mortgage payments and household/living expenses equally (based on income) on the house we were living in, and for the last three years i have been the sole contributor to the joint account, whilst the other house (my old one) ticked along paying for itself via tenants.
Last year I sold my house eventually and got a nice little sum of £'s.
We are now going to sell the house we are living in. My question..
AIBU if I keep all of the profit from my house AND expect a percentage of the profit the new house has made from the date i have been contributing/paying the mortgage?
My OH believes that we should also spilt the profit made from the sale of my house because we just happened to have chose THEIR house to live in, but I say, imagine that i had SOLD my house as soon as i moved out of it to move into the OH's house and the invested that money into, say, stocks and shares which then went on to make a nice profit (about the same as the profit i made on my initial investment in the house for instance!) would they THEN be entitled to that profit? I see the keeping on of the house as a continuing INVESTMENT of my money, so my OH has no claim on any of it, but when i started contributing to the mortgage of the OH's house, i TOO became a joint investor in THAT investment...
Emotion aside, what are peoples thoughts on this?
(sorry for length..and that something i NEVER thought i'd be saying)...

[onlytheonce]

No I'm not in agreement with that ginger. Surely the profit from your respective sales would be going to the new house so neither of you get to keep anything. Unless you want to keep the cash and get a new mortgage but that seems a bit odd to me. Or you've got enough from your respective sales to buy the house outright with a significant amount left over.

[Gingernutz]

BreconBeBuggered
no you're right, the original title may have been a little mis-leading, for which I apologise .
This actually stems from an issue my OH has NOT me insofar as (due to previous experience) they just want to make sure they don't feel 'ripped off' by not PHYSICALLY getting any of the cash i got from the sale of my house....It's a crazy thing tbh and it stems from some insecurity on THEIR part not mine....i 100% feel that we should be working as a TEAM on this and putting whatever WE can into the pot, they just don't want to do that as they seem to want a 'contingency'....

[MummytoMog]

I don't understand this 'your' money and 'my' money thing, although I'm told lots of people do it. My OH bought his house on his own. When I moved in a few years later we pooled our money totally and in my mind and his, the house became a joint property (although not legally of course). When we moved all of his profit went into our new house which is properly jointly owned, but he would never have dreamed of asking for some kind of 'cut' to represent 'his' money. Crazy. Mind you I earn double what he does, so it's not worked out too badly for him in the end.

[LazyMonkeyButler]

No, I am not in agreement.

Had both yourself & your OH sold your "previous investments" on meeting & then bought a new house "investment" together, you would both have had to use your profits towards the purchase, no? That "investment" would then be a joint one, which you would jointly own.

Much the same as you both putting everything you have into the new property now.

I'm still not sure I get this thread .

[Beastofburden]

Giner- well if you dont mind and s/he does, why not give him/her 50%?

it's all theoretical, if you split the courts would decide anyway.

[ICameOnTheJitney]

You and your OH have children...your money is not your money...it belongs to both.

[viperslast]

It would depend if you both sold for the same amount, obviously!

Seriously you are both entitled to a share of profit from both properties whilst you have been together. Assuming both are similar of a similar value you will both be putting a similar amount into new property and it is a null argument. If one property is significantly more valuable get the calculator out for five minutes. It should be fairly simple to get a working figure.

The gender of any party here is irrelevant but it would be simpler to follow if you used "my oh" rather than they.

[WhoNickedMyName]

If you'd sold your house immediately when you moved in with your OH and invested your profit into stocks and shares, then I would still think you should split it with your OH.

In this situation, the only reason you were able to make the profit, is because you moved into your OH's house.

[LazyMonkeyButler]

Right, so is the situation that your OH is keeping the money from their house sale - plus wanting some physical cash from your house sale whilst the rest of the proceeds from the sale of your house form the entire deposit on the new property?

Please answer the question for a change.

[Gingernutz]

beastofburden - Thank you, yes this is a somewhat less emotional breakdown and answer, so thank you for that...
I have to say, the facts are all there, i just didn't want to bog it all down with emotion but i see now that people have just drawn all the wrong conclusion about the issue and wanting to know the ins an outs of everything which was a little offputting for a first time poster!
Please do try to be a little less blunt people eh??

[Beastofburden]

Hope it's a helpful way to analyse it and that your OH ends up with a result s/he feels is fair and reasonable.

[MerylStrop]

Third and last time: get some legal advice

[MrsTerryPratchett]

You are getting a lot of shit on this thread and here's why. You are being evasive about gender. This means that you believe we would be biased or judgmental based on your sexuality or gender. This happens in 99% of cases (stat made up in the spot) because the OP is either gay and thinks we are homophobic, or male and thinks we are biased based on gender.

You are saying, albeit covertly, "could I have some advice, even though I think you are bigots, cheers?".

[Gingernutz]

Thanks Everyone for a peak inside this mumsnet world, i think i will go and get a cup of tea now...I feel a little beaten and bruised if I'm honest.
Thanks to those who have offered their opinions but some of you guys need to chill the fek out and stop jumping to conclusions simply because i don't want to give EVERY SINGLE ASPECT (as in all my posts here, caps intentional to add emphasis since i don't have the time or inclination to do the 'correct' typograpical hoop jumping) of my life away.
Seriously.
Be Nice..
FFS..

[Gingernutz]

MrsTerryPratchett
I think the tone of some of the posts themselves kind of make your point somewhat moot does it not?

[MrsTerryPratchett]

You started it

Seriously, it is some posts. Try the question on a male-oriented website and see if it's all suffragettes and sparkle dust.

[sparechange]

No, YABU

And you are trying to have it both ways.
For the purposes of splitting the money, you want to count your contribution to your partners mortgage as you making an investment towards that property. But if you want to consider a mortgage without your name on it jointly yours, then you have to consider the mortgage without their name on it joint as well.

Because if you were going to play hardball and demand you keep your profit, then I would argue back that you've just been paying rent since moving in and aren't entitled to any of the uplift in that place.

Either way, it sounds like you have a pretty dysfunctional attitude towards money, so maybe you need to address that before buying somewhere together

[DidoTheDodo]

I was in a complicated financial situation when H and I married so we drew up a pre nup agreement that we are both happy with, addressing the housing needs and ownership of ourselves and our families.

Too late for that?

[onlytheonce]

Ginger,
The reason you've got grief is that you have been evasive. You might not want to give the details but those details are critical as to whether things seem right or not and will judge people's opinion.

By not answering these things it feels like you are being evasive to get the answer you want.

Oh, and writing in capitals comes across as shouty. Even if all you are meaning is to emphasise certain things.

By the way, I'm a bloke and have typically found mumsnet to be fair regardless of gender.

[handcream]

I have completely lost track of this. I know the break up/divorce rate has shot up over the last 20 years....

I think its a sad fact that people dont stay with each other forever and dont presume they are going hence, the my house, his money etc.

As a warning - many many years ago my father and mother (both working) brought a house. My father put it in his name. He never revealed how much he earned and in those days the MAN filled in the tax return for his wife who was clearly too stupid to do it herself.

Mum thinks in reality they were both earning about the same. When they divorced 17 yrs later he stated that the house was his, and offered a solicitor to sort this all out in a friendly way.

The outcome was that Mum signed away what is now a £1.2 million house. He did buy a 50% share of a new house so effectively he had 1.5 house and Mum had 0.5. When we reached late teens he then forced her to move. She is doing fine although she has a mortgage until she dies (Lifetime mortgage with Halifax)

He now lives in one of those hoarders houses all bitter and twisted.

[Gingernutz]

I don't think it matters what my gender or orientation are but, clearly there are people on here who DO have an agenda and will be biased you would have to agree. I assumed it best not to make it a battle of the sexes, and based on some of the replies my and my OH gender does seem to have some baring on the question. I was after a holistic answer to a somewhat theoretical question.
What i got was a barrage of supposition and, in some cases, abuse...

[Turniptwirl]

I don't get it. OP is anyway regardless if gender or orientation.

If you're both putting everything into your new house then wtf does it matter?!

Without your oh you couldn't have made the money you did on your house investment. she they are entitled to some of yours if you want some of there's. Or you keep yours and they keep theirs and consider your contribution as rent.

But I don't get why this is even an issue since all the money will be going into one pot ie your new house . Pretty sure the issue is yours and you flipped it onto your oh when people said you were being an arse unreasonable.

[onlytheonce]

You didn't answer critical information so people made assumptions. Lesson learned no?

[Gingernutz]

onlytheonce i don't think i have been evasive, i simply have not spread my complete life in front of a bunch of strangers in one fell swoop...
sorry if my forum etiquette isn't up to par..

[Gingernutz]

onlytheonce i Oh I've learned a grrrreat deal from this little social exercise.