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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To be miffed about ds getting 'told off' for the content of his packed lunch

294 replies

Squiffie · 25/09/2013 19:48

DS had a packed lunch consisting of:

A chicken wrap
Banana
Grapes
Rice pudding
A bottle of very dilute squash

In addition to this he had 3 or 4 jelly sweets that I'd popped in with his grapes as a treat, for which he got 'told off' by a member of lunchtime staff. Am I seriously not allowed to choose the contents of his lunch box?!

OP posts:
SizzleSazz · 25/09/2013 20:53

I'm glad of the rules; means my DC don't hassle me for choc/cake/sweets which I'm sure they would if other DC were eating them. But then I'm for an easy life and CBA to fight against rules which are in place to make society's children a tad healthier.

If I can help by sending healthy packed lunches then I will. Schools/teachers/dinner ladies get enough grief IMO.

It's one meal a day, surely there are plenty of other hours in the day to give kids treats?

IsabelleRinging · 25/09/2013 20:54

I don't think banning foods is the answer. It doesn't matter what schools ban, if parents feed their kids shit diets it won't make any difference. It's all about balance and perspective. If there are people who think a dilute squash drink or a few small sweets occasionally are going to cause health problems as part of a balanced diet then we really do have problems. Sweets and squash are much better as part of a meal than they are if eaten alone. I also don't get all this angst about school desserts. Kids in the 70s had dessert every day with every meal and didn't become obese.

Squiffie · 25/09/2013 20:55

skye its stuff like that which annoys me! Why is a kitkat better than a milkyway? It's rubbish!

OP posts:
CreatureRetorts · 25/09/2013 20:57

My point was that people think sweets every day is ok - it isn't. It's a gradual thing - sweets every day becomes a packet of sweets every day...

But back to the OP - chocolate and biscuits are ok?! Mind boggles. Only thing I can think of is are they a choking hazard Confused

TattyDevine · 25/09/2013 20:57

Ah you cannae win. I work in a school (for the time being, notice has been given) and I've been told off for hummus (no lid), cherries (stone, choke hazard), almonds (essential omega 3's) smoked salmon (children might not like the smell) and an orange (please buy easy peel next time).

They are all institutionalised. Pity them as you would someone who has been in jail/the public service for 35+ years

PaperSeagull · 25/09/2013 20:57

Sheer lunacy. I can't stand these ridiculous, petty, and generally unfathomable rules. Chocolate and biscuits are acceptable in a packed lunch, yet sweets are not? Chocolate sponge with chocolate sauce is fine for a school meal, but a parent can't choose a few sweets as a treat for her child? Absurd.

YADNBU.

muminthecity · 25/09/2013 20:57

YANBU as you hadn't been informed of any packed lunch 'rules.' Sweets are not allowed at our school at all. I found this out when DD was in reception and I put 2 quality street chocolates in her lunch box on the last day of term before Christmas. They were confiscated and she was so upset. I was expecting her to come out of school happy and full of Christmas spirit. Instead she was miserable and thought she was in trouble (she wasn't.) I thought that was a bit joyless and OTT of the dinner ladies TBH.

TattyDevine · 25/09/2013 20:58

Ooh and fresh pineapple (it might cause him to have an upset tummy which will interrupt classes or the fibres might get stuck in his teeth, causing tooth decay, have you tried the canned version?)

Squiffie · 25/09/2013 20:58

Can I just say again I wasn't going against the rules as I didn't know there was a rule!

Anyway my phone call to school has prompted a review of the policy and a letter outlining said policy is going to be sent home to all parents!

OP posts:
muminthecity · 25/09/2013 20:59

BTW, the sweets were a one-off Christmas treat, and she also had the usual fruit, veg and wholemeal roll in her lunch.

bababababoom · 25/09/2013 21:01

YANBU. I'd be absolutely livid. Labelling foods as "healthy" or "unhealthy" is stupid and dangerous - promoting a healthy overall diet is surely the sensible thing to do. The psychological impact of telling children that "sweets = unhealthy" is much, much worse than eating a bit too much sugar - as someone who suffered from Eating Disorders for over 15 years, I don't want my children to think about the contents of their lunchbox, but want to lead them to make generally healthy choices. All the research shows that making "junk" food forbidden increases the risk of obesity as well as Eating Disorders.

CombineBananaFister · 25/09/2013 21:03

I am just so relieved we don't have this in the school where my Ds goes. no rules (apart from water only as juices stain the carpet) No packed lunch police as there can't in the face of appalling school meals (hypocrisy) and a real belief in parenting choices and budget restrictions. Brilliant, nebs out.

TheOrginalPoster · 25/09/2013 21:04

Muminthecity- That is really mean to take a little girls two sweets of her at Christmas time!

I don't like the way some members of staff can make the child themselves feel bad for a parents error.

DC was upset the other day as someone had been shouted at for bringing yoghurt in so keeps double checking I haven't packed one as she is now scared of a telling off.

Personally, no matter whats in the lunchbox, its not ok to take it out on the child.

Cantsleep · 25/09/2013 21:04

Creature retorts-sweets do NOT cause diabetes.

My dd2 got type1 diabetes aged 3 and she had always had a very healthy diet. Ironically since diagnosis she has had more sweets/sugar than ever before to treat hypos.

OP I don't think there was anything wrong with sending 4 jelly sweets in your ds lunchbox and I hope he liked them, for a treat it won't do any harm at all.

LoveSewingBee · 25/09/2013 21:05

For those who have not watched the BBC documentaries The men who made us fat and The men who made us thin, what came out of this is that the main things which are really incredibly bad for us are:

  • artificial sweeteners (they are much sweeter than sugar and your brain gets so used to this taste that it wants everything much sweeter in order to feel satisfied, hence the craving for sweetness which is created by the use of sweeteners)
  • very bad fats, including more recently lavish use of palm oil

There is a real fear that these ingredients cause addiction, cause fundamental and irreversible changes in our body and may provide an explanation for the obesity crisis.

Many school meals include Tesco value yogurt, guess what ingredients this has ... This is just one example. School dinners make liberal use of artificial sweeteners and vegetable oils you may not like to give your child.

2tiredtocare · 25/09/2013 21:07

I don't think they should've brought it up with him. At my DCs school if you put in 'contraband' you get it back at the end of the day

SmiteYouWithThunderbolts · 25/09/2013 21:08

It's the same at my children's school. No sweets allowed, but chocolate and crisps are fine. They don't do hot school meals so their lunch menus consist of sandwiches with a variety of fillings plus fruit, crisps AND a chocolate bar. Oh, except on Fridays where the sandwiches are substituted for hot dogs.

There's no logic behind it at all.

LoveSewingBee · 25/09/2013 21:10

The American Association of Paediatrics had a campaign to try to ban hot dogs as they are one of the main choking causes in children. They perfectly block and are difficult to dislodge. So I would object to hot dogs on safety grounds ..............

KatyPutTheCuttleOn · 25/09/2013 21:11

It seems a bit extreme. DS takes a healthy lunch every day but once a year he has a slice of cake, a pack of crisps, a sandwich of his choosing, a milk shake and a piece of fruit. He's never been told off for it, though perhaps the birthday badge was a bit of a clue why he had such a dire lovely lunchbox.

2tiredtocare · 25/09/2013 21:12

I was reading a magazine recently and it had a promotional feature for low fat walkers crisps and they had a suggested healthy lunch for kids including loads of low fat/sugar free shite, so aggravating that stuffs just crap

McNewPants2013 · 25/09/2013 21:13

DS school has the right idea, on Friday they can bring in sweets/choclate from a list of choices.

diaimchlo · 25/09/2013 21:14

Phantom I appreciate what you are saying about stats but I never rely on any of them tbh, I take what I see 1st hand. I also take into consideration the fact that children are constantly growing and before they have a growth spurt normally appear to put on quite a bit of weight, "puppy fat" which disappears as quick as it appears so screening and weighing does not cut it at all, especially the Y6 as the good old hormones are kicking in.....

I most certainly have not forgotten what healthy looks like, it looks like my DGC's who have a balanced diet including sweets (am definitely not in denial). We do not make big issues about food etc as we don't want to push them into any form of eating disorders.

TheBuskersDog · 25/09/2013 21:14

What the hell are play pieces?

soverylucky · 25/09/2013 21:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

BlueShirtBlueTie · 25/09/2013 21:16

Does the school have a no sweets policy? I assume they would have informed parents if they do otherwise it' a bit silly to tell a child off for a couple of sweets. The rest of the lunch looks healthy so a couple of sweets wouldn't hurt. I think a lot of schools are missing the point of what a balanced diet actually is -- the clue is in the word 'balanced'. Chocolate and sweets, etc can be included as part of a healthy balanced diet.

This thread has actually reminded me of my primary school days. We had a healthy eating policy and we weren't allowed sweets, chocolate bars or crisps in packed lunches (though chocolate biscuits were allowed Confused). However on school dinners you were served a stodgy pudding every day and also were served chips most days Confused.