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AIBU?

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Original poster

To be miffed about ds getting 'told off' for the content of his packed lunch

294 replies

Squiffie · 25/09/2013 19:48

DS had a packed lunch consisting of:

A chicken wrap
Banana
Grapes
Rice pudding
A bottle of very dilute squash

In addition to this he had 3 or 4 jelly sweets that I'd popped in with his grapes as a treat, for which he got 'told off' by a member of lunchtime staff. Am I seriously not allowed to choose the contents of his lunch box?!

OP posts:
Topseyt · 25/09/2013 21:57

I think the lunchbox described by the OP is lovely, and mostly fairly healthy. A few jelly sweets is not the end of the world and will do no harm at all.

Our primary school didn't have too many rules with regard to packed lunches. There was a no nuts rule due to a couple of children (one was my youngest daughter's friend) being seriously allergic. Also, no glass bottles or fizzy drinks. Other than that, it was OK.

When mine had packed lunch it would be as healthy as I could make it. There would be a sandwich with fillings of ham, cheese, tuna, egg, egg mayonnaise etc., a piece of fruit, sometimes grapes, sultanas, a mini yogurt. Then, horror of horrors, they often had a packet of crisps too and a chocolate biscuit!!!!! None of the three have ever been overweight.

I cannot stand the "food police" in any of their guises. Personally, I seem to remember the Jamie Oliver school dinners campaign as being the catalyst for much of this, with many schools now snooping in children's lunchboxes. I was never pulled up on anything I put in mine, but if I had been I would have made my feelings plain.

Sirzy · 25/09/2013 21:58

Water is the drink that's available and they will drink it when thirsty

It simply isn't that simple for some children.

Strangely, when DS was in hospital dehydrated the staff didn't care what he drank just that he did.

NeverGetTheBestOfMe · 25/09/2013 22:00

WorrySighWorrySigh and this is precisely why young people are coming into work thinking they don't have to wear the uniform or they can adapt it to how they want to wear it and have an attitude that saying "well why should I?". This is why they have no respect for authority because they think they know best through years watching their parents undermine schools "No Annie of course you don't have to wear what the school tell you to, who are they to tell us how we should be dressing and feeding our kids, you wear what you are comfortable in darling."

Then little Annie goes to work and realises she can't do what the hell she wants and she will wear the uniform and do as shown or her precious little ass can go to the job centre to look for another job.

If the school say no chocolate or sweets, then respect this or find another school. When you are at home you can set the rules for your children, when children are in school they respect the rules of that school. Parents do not set rules for schools - home school them if you do not want to respect this.

bigbrick · 25/09/2013 22:02

Sirzy - I thought this was about a school packed lunch? Not about hospital care. Sorry to hear your child was in hospital - hope he has recovered or that his condition is managed (sorry I don't know if you have posted on this)

Fairenuff · 25/09/2013 22:03

It's not hard to speak privately to one parent about their child's lunchbox if they're only bringing junk food every day

It is hard though Midnite because that parent will say that if the other children are allowed sweets, mine is going to have them too. You can't stop me if you are allowing others to have sweets. One rule for me and a different one for them, that's discrimination, etc.

Sirzy · 25/09/2013 22:03

the point was though Big if a child doesn't like something then no amount of witholding other things will make them like it and that goes for water as much as anything else.

(and yes he is recovered from that bit of illness anyway!)

Original poster
Squiffie · 25/09/2013 22:08

NeverGetTheBestOfMe Blind following of rules is not healthy either! I want my children to be strong individuals willing to challenge the norm and push boundaries.

However, whether or not they become people like this won't be decided by a few sweets in their packed lunch from time to time!

OP posts:
ThisIsBULLSHIT · 25/09/2013 22:08

YABU sweets are not healthy and if your child has a few jelly sweets what's to stop another child having a whole packet? What do you propose the rule is if you want him to be allowed them?

Bigger picture people!!!

MerylStrop · 25/09/2013 22:11

There is no need for sweets in a lunch box. End of.

Telling him off, not nice for him, but it got the message home to you didn't it?

Fairenuff · 25/09/2013 22:11

If the child is never given sweet drinks, they will, of course, drink water. Once they have tasted the sweet drinks they will, of course, hold out for them. And the child learns, from experience, that if they hold out long enough they will get the sweet drink.

Not your child, in particular, Sirzy, just a general observation. In the case of medical need any fluid would be appropriate.

But in the normal course of events, if a child has never know a sweet drink, other than milk, they will drink water.

IceCreamForCrow · 25/09/2013 22:12

And then they go to secondary school where no-one gives two hoots what anyone may or may not have eaten for lunch. Strangely enough the world continues to turn without being micro-managed to the nth degree.

Goldenbear · 25/09/2013 22:13

On the other hand, 'Little Annie' might find a job where no uniform is required, where she is expected to use her imagination or her parents' respectful questioning of 'rules', that make no sense, encourage her to question things in life as it will help her greatly to realise life is not simply black and white.

Tabby1963 · 25/09/2013 22:14

Crumbs, I work in a school and cannot imagine telling any child off for what's in their packed lunch. It is the child or parent's choice. Who am I to judge?

diaimchlo · 25/09/2013 22:15

Sirzy

How on earth does that read as if I am making excuses???? I have brought up 5 children and am now a very proud GM of 5 DGC, who all have visible rib cages btw, in fact 1 can eat everything and anything she likes and never fills out. What I stated was from personal experience. I find your comment very judgmental and offensive.

Fairenuff · 25/09/2013 22:16

Or Annie might be adaptable and able to do both?

MidniteScribbler · 25/09/2013 22:16

It is hard though Midnite because that parent will say that if the other children are allowed sweets, mine is going to have them too. You can't stop me if you are allowing others to have sweets. One rule for me and a different one for them, that's discrimination, etc.

It's not really. You're not telling that parent that the child can't have any treats, but that there needs to be a balance. Provide them with some healthy eating suggestions that can be included. Parents that do send their children with only junk food are more likely to receptive to the conversation if you're not telling them they can't send any treats at all, but need to balance it with other food.

Original poster
Squiffie · 25/09/2013 22:17

Goldenbear I was also thinking I don't necessarily want my kids to aspire to most 'uniform' jobs [hmmm]

OP posts:
ThePuffyShirt · 25/09/2013 22:17

Weeell - I would never give mine sweets or squash but the rest of it is OK.

If the school discourage sweets, that can only be a good thing.

NoComet · 25/09/2013 22:17

DD2 doesn't drink water for one simple reason, She BF until long after she started school and breast milk is sweet.

She hates water and she won't touch cows milk and hated formula too!

I never worried about it, I assumed she'd grow out of hating water. Had I known that at 12 she'd still be impossibly stubborn I might have tried a bit harder.

(DH hates milk too, so that doesn't surprise me and DD2 is a bit more sensible than her DDad at least she will now drink hot chocolate).

Also I had no idea until it was far too late that drinking squash is a crime. It didn't become one until she was in school for several years.

Fortunately her primary school forget it had a water only rule five minutes after it half halfheartedly tried to enforce it.

Leuty · 25/09/2013 22:18

As a reception teacher myself, I'd agree it is totally wrong to point out 'unhealthy' food to the child. However, has anyone considered the effect that such sweets have on the children's ability to learn and focus after lunch?

I do think it's a parents choice what they feed their child, our school offers advice on lunches but it is not policed. Unfortunately I have witnessed lunches comprising of a large bag of haribo, a sausage roll and a can of coke.

I hope your child is

MaxineQuordlepleen · 25/09/2013 22:18

Grapes and rice pudding and squash and sweets? Four types of sugar. Seriously, you think that's balanced? Em, right.

Leuty · 25/09/2013 22:19

Sorry hit button too soon! Hope your child is ok and enjoying school otherwise!

BlueShirtBlueTie · 25/09/2013 22:19

Why no yogurts theOriginalPoster?

Sugar maybe?

bigbrick · 25/09/2013 22:22

Staballbunny - I have done bf until school and mine have had no trouble with water as a drink.

Viviennemary · 25/09/2013 22:25

I think this secret police of lunchboxes is getting a bit more than ridiculous. Haven't they got more important things to think about.

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