AIBU to wonder what happended to my pants in the night

[sashh]

I went to bed in a pair of pants and a nightie last night.

This morning the pants have been ripped at one side.

I live alone (apart from a cat).

I have lost weight recently so have not split them with pure strength of fat.

My bedside table has on it (and in the drawer) some wooden roses, a kindle, my phone, a bed side lamp and my daily pills.

Could you lovely ladies suggest a solution to this mystery? The more bizarre the better

I don't suppose you can remember who what you were dreaming about?

It was the cat, he came in to borrow your kindle, gave you a shake to see if you were awake and your pants got caught on his claw.

Did you go to the loo during the night? Maybe you ripped the pants pulling them up while you were half asleep?

Something caught in the mattress/sheet?
Or a poltergeist, obviously.. [ghost]

not ghost....

Obviously you did a terrific fart in your sleep.

The cat and his catty friends were having a scavenger hunt party in the night.
Your cat found it easy to get the wooden rose but struggled with the pants.
Hence he didn't win - and the prize was a full but open bag of Dreamies. he will be very disappointed this morning so watch out for that.

Some tiny elves crept in during the night and unpicked the stitching on your knickers which has led to a tear?

These re great, the cat is a girl.

Oh well in that case, she probably wanted pretty pants for herself, tried to get yours, realised, in the dark of course, and after some claw-based fumbling, that they had insufficient lace on them, so gave up.

Why are you wearing pants in bed?

The monster under your bed tried to grab you.

He failed...this time

Your fanjo needed to breathe. It was too hot. So in your sleep you ripped, ripped your pants asunder.

(or you had a wee loose thread and the whole things gave up the ghost. Not a real ghost.)

Maybe you've accidentally washed them in some form of acid which knackered the stitching somewhat.

These pants, should you choose to accept them, will self destruct in 15 minutes....

My cat sexually assaults me in the night. She lies on my side and licks my nose and chin, then tries to put her tongue in my mouth. When I push her off, she untucks the duvet and climbs underneath, then starts licking the back of my knees. She won't take no for an answer.

Have you access to a Geiger counter? I'm thinking that maybe your arse got very close to a source of high level gamma rays and you could be slowly turning into a distant cousin of the Hulk.

So for whatever reason the cat wanted my pants and assisted by radioactive elves, the monster under the bed and various supernatural beings but was defeated by my dreams.

Yep makes perfect sense

But did it happen again, is there a recurring pattern?

I wore pyjamas as usual last night. I only bought the nightie for hospital.

PJs in normal working order this morning