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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To think if someone makes your baby smile you smile at them?

98 replies

BetsyBidwell · 23/09/2013 17:28

Usual disclaimers. Have life, do get out, am aware of crisis in Syria.

Twice today at a huge marks I had cute babies near me as me and a mate browsed. Twice we interacted. They smiles, we commented on baby's cuteness within earshot of mum. Both times mum said nothing. And definitely heard.

When I was with tinies these kind if things made me day, when you were pretty bored and loved it when your baby was admired.
Is this no longer the case? The interactions lasted seconds, were not creepy or anything (babies about 1 year old, were very smiley ) and tbh we stopped them whinging on by making them smile.

It's not the end of the world but is this the norm that mum doesn't acknowledge these?

OP posts:
BetsyBidwell · 23/09/2013 17:29

"A mate and I ". Argh. Grammar fail

OP posts:
Famzilla · 23/09/2013 17:32

I'm partially deaf (you would have no idea just by looking at me obviously) and often don't hear things unless I'm focusing on the object the sound is coming from IYSWIM.

I overcompensate by being hyper alert of my surroundings and smiling at pretty much everyone I walk past, but I can't concentrate on everything at once so it may well have been me in the situation you described!

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 23/09/2013 17:34

I would.

No doubt there are some who are depressed, for instance but some people just probably never were that sociable and having a baby isn't going to change that.

It's a shame when a chance to be kind to each other in public passes by but I'm an old Polyanna

squoosh · 23/09/2013 17:34

They probably thought you were invading their baby's relaxing reverie time and were maybe possibly going to do something as awful as offer your finger for the baby to grip.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 23/09/2013 17:35

Betsy

I would focus on all the people who do acknowledge the smiles etc. There are probably way more of those

BetsyBidwell · 23/09/2013 17:35

Oh I didn't touch. Just was trying to be kind! wrings hands

I should have known better.

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JamieandtheMagicTorch · 23/09/2013 17:36

squoosh

or God Forbid, kiss the baby. Eeek!

GladitsnotJustMe · 23/09/2013 17:36

Once in a shop, cute baby in pushchair dropped her toy next to me. I retrieved it and handed it back to the child, smiling. Baby was all smiley.. parents who watched the whole thing just stared at me as if I was about to abduct their child. Didn't say thank you or anything....

What is wrong with people?

BramshawHill · 23/09/2013 17:36

Maybe the baby wasn't a great sleeper and the mum was too tired to fake a smile, or she had something going on in her life that she was too busy thinking about to notice you. You might have been the 10th person to make her baby smile that day and she didn't feel like having that conversation again.

I like when people comment about and smile at my baby, its nice to be complimented but I have had days when I just don't have it in me to interact in any way.

BetsyBidwell · 23/09/2013 17:37

This baby looked very hard as I tried on a coat. When made an approval sound. We laughed at him as fashion pundit. Then coochie cooed. He laughed.

He (ahem) didn't like his mums coat so much.

OP posts:
JamieandtheMagicTorch · 23/09/2013 17:37

Glad

Or ... what is right with people? The fact that you noticed this means that most of the time most people are nice.

A few are not and having children doesn't change that.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 23/09/2013 17:38

... or what Bramshaw said

BetsyBidwell · 23/09/2013 17:38

I get that people might be a) deaf b) depressed c) preoccupied c) axe murderers.

But to meet so many in one store?!
We did also laugh that at one point the security guard was almost crawling along the floor behind a shelf talking into his walkie-talkie. It was like being on an undercover op !

OP posts:
BetsyBidwell · 23/09/2013 17:39

Limited edition stuff was lovely btw

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PoppyAmex · 23/09/2013 17:41

I have a 18 month old DD and I have sincerely warm, fuzzy feelings for any stranger who makes her fleetingly happy.

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 23/09/2013 17:43

Betsey

Depends what store

YoureBeingADick · 23/09/2013 17:43

oh FGS so now there's a rule we have to smile at people at their command! Wink

JamieandtheMagicTorch · 23/09/2013 17:43

Poppy

I tell anyone I meet with a child what lovely eyes he/she has. Whether it's true or not. Gives me a cheap thrill

RunnerHasbeen · 23/09/2013 17:44

I definitely would of it was someone on their own, but might find it harder if it was two people having a conversation. I'd feel more like I was butting in, if that makes sense. Maybe it was just having your friend there as well that made people a bit less friendly?

CoffeeTea103 · 23/09/2013 17:46

This happens to me often. The other day I saw the cutest little boy at the store. I smiled at him and he starts giggling and claps his hands, so the mum looks at me and literally scowls to my face and pushes his pram around and walks away.

BetsyBidwell · 23/09/2013 17:46

Well maybe the flick knives at tatts did it.

I'll start telling them what an evil fecker their baby is ;)

OP posts:
BetsyBidwell · 23/09/2013 17:47

And tatts

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YoniBottsBumgina · 23/09/2013 17:47

Maybe they're just knackered? Or don't speak English? (In reply to your comment that they must have heard)

1yos are pretty easy in terms of shopping partners, but I remember slightly older babies being a fucking nightmare to trail through shops, I was probably on autopilot and a fug of sleeplessness not even noticing if a stranger was within 6 feet of my baby. Maybe theirs hit that stage early?

Damnautocorrect · 23/09/2013 17:49

I've noticed this, since ds has gone to school so it's just me smiling now. I get totally ignored by the mums where normally I'd get a smile off them too

DoudousDoor · 23/09/2013 17:51

I agree with OP but also with runner.

If someone is talking about your baby then it would seem a bit rude to butt in and say "thanks I know he's lovely".

That said, I did smile and smile at this teenage girl who was literally gushing over toddler DS, saying she wanted one (the teenage boyfriend was not so gushing Grin) Until she got to the point of saying she wanted this one (i.e. DS) and wished she could steal him Hmm

Then I firmly pointed DS in the direction of some flowers to look at which were a long way away from her! (I know I know, she didn't mean it but it did make me uncomfortable)

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