to think SIL's lucky she hasn't been arrested for criminal damage?

[WorldPeaceAndFreeProsecco]

She's just said that her neighbour was so rude to her that she went home and cried.

SIL had weeded her neighbours front garden because she decided it needed doing. Later on she saw the neighbour cleaning her windows so joked, 'oh you can do mine if you like' and the neighbour snapped 'not bloody likely'.

SIL said, oh and I weeded your garden for you. Neighbour said, yes, I know, you've pulled up all the wildflowers I planted.

SIL went home and cried, not because she felt bad but because the neighbour was rude, and shoudl bloody well keep her garden weeded, and told me that next time she's just going to put weedkiller down.

I've offended her now because I said she's bloody lucky not to be charged with criminal damage, and that if anyone did that to my garden I'd be furious. She has done it to us as well, she just comes round and starts cleaning or pulling up 'weeds', now I know she means well and mostly let her get on with it but I think she's seriously fucked her neighbour off.

The thing is, I'm pretty sure she'll carry on, and I do think the neighbour won't stand for it.

I thin kI need to say more to her, make it crystal clear that what sh'es doing is not NORMAL and that the neighbour is completely right to be annoyed.

AIBU?

is this the one you used to CM for?

Might she get the message if someone went in and did something to her garden/house that she didn't like? Clearly she can't think herself into their position - she lacks the empathy - so maybe she needs a real demonstration so she can experience what an intrusion it is.

A friend of mine sadly did this exact behaviour when he suffered a break down. Please try and get her some help. Some simple medicine might be all she needs.

Oh I would say it fairly tolerant, not to go bat shit crazy on someone who has just vandalised your garden.

I would be horrified if someone started removing plants from my garden,

Your sister in law needs someone to explain to her what she can and can't do, and make sure she doesn't damage people's property.

Is this the mad bint that mows for 6 hours a night and whinges cos nobody thanks her?

No, it was my sister who I used to CM for, she'#s mad in a different way...

She either seriously needs a grip or seriously does need help.

Sorry - just saw it was her - I'm not seeing the full thread on my phone - only saw it cos I came on the pc.

I think she needs help, this isn't normal behaviour.
Good luck OP, no suggestions, apart from accompany her to gp perhaps.

Good Lord. Tbh I am only just getting over cracklinggate but this is madness indeed.

Maybe she needs to be arrested for it to sink in that her behaviour is well beyond the limits of normal and desirable?

It sounds like she needs to hit rock bottom before she can ask for help.

Oh hello, there you are

She's a really nice person is SIL, but this isn't the first time she's acted in a 'compulsive' way is it? There's definitely some sort of issue.

Any way BIL could be persuaded to talk to her about some kind of cbt or something? x

Innit, Heps? I'm still mourning that crackling. I've just done cabbage your way by the way and it was LUSH.

MrsDV, that thought did cross my mind.

Gobby, hello lovely. I dont;' know. He tends to not say anything to her for a nice quiet life, ime.

Yeah which I can fully understand, as you know my DH is very similar with me blessim.

But this is getting to the point where others are getting involved who might not make allowances like the family do.

Yes exactly.

I need to stage an intervention type of thing, really. Or someone does.

Oh good luck with that. It's really hard when the person is nice on the whole, like kicking puppies. But it's for their own good.

I really do believe this is coming from the best of intentions from her, but it's not really on.

My OH "weeded" my wildflowers, I wept for days! Your SIL is lucky she has her front teeth still.

I think she just can;'t see why it woudln't be gratefully accepted.

It's like when she kept buying me things for the house, masses and masses of candles and ornaments and photo frames, and we had to tell her to stop because we had too much. Every inch of her house is full of 'things', tbf it does look nice but very very busy. My house is already a bloody mess 'lived in' home, as you know, and the ornament overload was just giving it the air of a junk shop.

But she couldn';t understand why we didn'yt want to fill every available inch of space with ornaments, she said look, there's loads of room on the windowsill, put some there.

Yay to cabbage I say. Just done the very same.

Agree with Gobby (whose name I bloody LOVE) that she IS lovely but this is way over acceptable. Along with chucking crackling.

It's just transferring one compulsion to another, really.

Gosh, she sounds nuttier than squirrel shit.

IMO we should be able to force everyone to maintain gardens (and house exteriors for that matter) to an acceptable standard, but there should be due process, I wouldn't support vigilante gardening...

She's not German is she? I've read that Germans are quite prone to telling other people how to behave. I've experienced a (nice) German lady who singlehandedly tried to ensure all residents in a development of a couple of hundred new properties all maintained proper standards. Some people may see her as Hyacinth (minus the snobbery) but I think the world would be a better place if more people had her standards and energy.

No, she's not German.

Throwing crackling away? That is a HEINOUS crime!