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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To be really shaken up by this driver

92 replies

filee777 · 20/09/2013 10:21

Who cut me up on a roundabout and then insulted me and my weight and my looks and called me a bitch and a slag?

It's really hurt me. Mostly, probably because all of it rang true.

OP posts:
Feminine · 20/09/2013 10:23

I'll bet you are actually quite gorgeous, and that he was a lump of a 'man'

He knows nothing about you. Try to remember that...:)

FreudiansSlipper · 20/09/2013 10:24

what rang true that he/she is a nasty aggressive abusive person

that is the only truth

Original poster
filee777 · 20/09/2013 10:25

I am most certainly not 'gorgeous' I am not one of life's wall flowers! Which is fine we can't all be and I am clever and funny and have other things about me that are good.

But I am fat and I am ugly and I do feel a bit worthless.

OP posts:
CocacolaMum · 20/09/2013 10:25

If YOU have an issue with your weight and looks then do something about it. I cannot say whether you are a bitch or a slag, how could he tell that from your driving? was he Derren Brown?

DameDeepRedBetty · 20/09/2013 10:26

What a horrible man!

Don't suppose there were any witnesses?

LessMissAbs · 20/09/2013 10:26

Did he get out of the car? If so, report is to the police as an assault encompasses putting you in fear of being attacked.

The last man that did that to me, I kept the windows locked while he ranted outside, and then, as he went back to his car, a great rage came over me, and I'm afraid I got out and roared at him and pointed out his own failings. He turned into a mouse and whimpered "don't tell my wife, I'm going to collect the kids".

LeaveTheBastid · 20/09/2013 10:27

What a disgusting pig of a man he sounds. I'd much rather be ugly, fat, hell maybe even a slag (could be fun for a while Grin ) than ever be as vile as he is, calling a woman those names for a mistake that he made.

Try not to let it affect you too much OP. He is the worthless one, not you.

Original poster
filee777 · 20/09/2013 10:27

I have tried and tried again with my weight and its so hard to lose weight. I find it very difficult to be hungry and I just fall into terrible habits. I am very busy and self conscious so going to the gym fell flat.

It's just something I continually fail at.

OP posts:
elcranko · 20/09/2013 10:28

What an idiot. He just came up with the first insults that came into his head to take the attention away from his shit driving. I bet he says similar to a lot more people than just you.

foslady · 20/09/2013 10:29

STOP IT NOW!!!!!!!!

You are not ugly, and I can't comment on your weight, but I doubt that you are in the seriously health risk obese. You are agreeing with his anger at you for him fouling up and you KNOW that is wrong.
I'm with neitzer - anyone can lead you to the abyss, but only you can allow yourself to step over, so step away from the edge.......

Here, join me in Brew

HitTheNorth · 20/09/2013 10:29

He is a piece of shit. He is the worthless one. He proved that by his behaviour. What you look like is irrelevant, and you were just unfortunate to be in the wrong place at the wrong time, and so be on the receiving end of his abuse. It was nothing to do with you at all. Sorry you had to take that from a horrible bully like him.

Original poster
filee777 · 20/09/2013 10:29

And anyway, there would be some point to losing weight it it mattered but I am still ugly. I was a size 12 before and my husband told me that him and his mates used to laugh at me for being a bit flirty because I was clearly the ugly one in the group. I wasn't trying to be flirty

I am just cringey and horrid.

I think I would rather be fat and have that to blame my utter unattractive self on than have to acknowledge that no matter what I do I am ugly.

OP posts:
baskingseals · 20/09/2013 10:31

Filee - the only failure is him. What a loser.

You are not defined by your weight or looks, you are much more than that. Please don't let some sad wankstain upset you.

CocacolaMum · 20/09/2013 10:32

whooaaah whoah whoah. why the fuck is your husband saying you are ugly?

foslady · 20/09/2013 10:32

WTF??????????

Was your husband driving the car? Post a pic of your hubby on here, OP, bet he's no oil painting. And him and his mates sound as though they were a bunch of insecure dickheads

LeaveTheBastid · 20/09/2013 10:32

Your husband told you that? Jesus fucking Christ.

HitTheNorth · 20/09/2013 10:33

Your husband said that? Shock

baskingseals · 20/09/2013 10:33

Oh more losers.

Other people's inadequacies are not a value judgement on who you are. Beauty is more than skin deep

fuzzywuzzy · 20/09/2013 10:34

filee I think you need to speak to your GP about this, to help you lose weight and also to discuss this feeling of worthlessness, also think you ought to drop kick oyur husband to the kerb, that will be a load of dead weight lost right there.

I don't persdonally give a crap what others think of my looks, I keep myself clean and and I'm happy with me (and I dont scare small children), and I'm a lovely person. anyone who thinks differently can keep walking.

SageMist · 20/09/2013 10:35

Look, people who say these kind of things say it deliberately to cause upset. It's a form of defence - attack the other person and they will be distracted from the realities of the situation.

I've seen this happen to my DH, he called out a bad driver, and the bad driver let fly with all sorts of insults (some of which were true), just to distract my DH. Didn't work though, cos my DH doesn't give a shit about anyone else's opinion Grin

So it isn't you, it was him.

Cluffyflump · 20/09/2013 10:36

Your husband said that to you Shock
Are you still with him?

I bet my arse you are better looking than you think!
Fwiw, clever and funny are much more attractive than 'pretty'.

Longtalljosie · 20/09/2013 10:37

I'm Shock at your husband.

But tell me about this roundabout-dwelling High Judge of the Physical Appearance and Personal Morals. Was he a blonde Adonis?

Feminine · 20/09/2013 10:37

It is all to do with your self-worth isn't it?

But you know that. It is very unlikely you are ugly, your weight is something only you can decide about.

As usual what happened to you (the driver) is only the tip of the ice-burg.

I don't think any woman would want to be abused like that, even if she felt she was gorgeous.

You need to think about what to do about that ass of a 'husband'

Selks · 20/09/2013 10:38

Why are you internalising what this man said, rather than getting angry with him for being an abusive, rude, asshole?
Your looks - and I mean this in a nice way - are kind of irrelevant here. What is relevant is that this man was aggressive and out of order and you need to focus on that. He had no right to behave like that!
The other thing is your husband is emotionally abusing you by saying what he said. Does he often say things like that?
You do not have to take being treated like this. Nobody deserves being undermined and verbally abused. Maybe this treatment of you has sapped your confidence and led you to feel so bad about yourself.
Try to turn those feelings away from feeling bad about yourself and towards anger against those who are verbally and emotionally abusing you. You are worth more than this.

DameDeepRedBetty · 20/09/2013 10:38

If that man is still your husband and hasn't apologised unreservedly for those vile comments you need to repost this to Relationships. Steam coming out of ears for you OP.