Fuming at nursery not giving out leaving gifts.

[debbie1412]

Ok my son left a well established nursery on Monday to go to his local pre-school. I gave a card and 2 tins of chocolates for the staff . I bought 40 fairy cakes and 40 freddo bars as a leaving gift to be shared out for his room. At reception I was told they couldn't give the children the treats in nursery asit was against their policy. They would give them at as the children left nursery that day. I've found out of 5 seperate mums that their children recieved no gift from my son . I'm so annoyed. I'm not the type of person who likes confrontation so I don't want to go in and moan. Plus I'm not sure they would care. What would you do???

I would do absolutely nothing. I would recognise that the end of the day in a nursery is extremely busy, and the nursery workers probably simply forgot. Good luck to your ds at his new setting.

I'd go in and moan. and get the stuff back. and probably the tins of chocs too

But since you say that you don't like confrontation so won't go in, and you are sure they won't care, you are left with just letting it go.

oh, meant to say - you don't have to go in all guns blazing. A cheery smile, a wave, a "hi there, just popping in to pick up the treats. I've been told by many people that they weren't handed out. No problem, I know pick up is really hectic, I'll just grab them now shall I? Where are they?"

I do recognise it I really do but surely they have a whole load of goodies sitting there. Doesn't that remind them?? Dp says to just leave it, it's not ds knows they havnt been given out. I'm just disgruntled for trying to do something nice and it failing miserably :-(

It could be that the parents themselves picked their children up very quickly from the nursery, not leaving enough time for the workers to give out the cakes.

I never bothered with leaving gifts for the children at this age, so it wouldn't bother me anyway.

What Imtoohecsy said.

Perhaps they have a parent there who, like me, is utterly fed up with their child coming home after each and every session over the last two weeks with handfuls of chocolate and sweets

I would go in and ask for the things they didn'tgive out.

But I wouldn't be fuming. A bit disappointed but not cross.

I think it was really off of you to expect the nursery staff to give out your cakes and sweets to other nursery children. I suspect they have better things to do. It seems to me like a strange thing to do at nursery.

The other nursery children probably will really have no sense of someone 'leaving' and why they would have been given a gift. If you wanted to something for your child and the other nursery children you should have had a party out of nursery time.

Maybe parents said 'no thanks' ......tbh I wouldn't want chocolate and cake consumed on way home ( poss before tea/lunch)and it wouldn't bé doable to 'hide' them for later. Chalk it up to experience and let it go ........ Maybe a handmade card pinned up in cloakroom saying 'bye from X' would have been more appropriate ?

I'd leave it. We had some end of term periods where the kids had a stupid amount of sweets, I often confiscated them and ate them. The staff can't remember everything.

Please don't keep doing this, it's awful for staff. Imagine if everyone did the same, they would be making up bloody party bags at the end of the day.

In schools it's worse because there are usually 30 children in the class. It's bad enough giving out birthday invitations, let alone having to distribute cake at the end of the day. In school the children will have book bags, letters, lunchboxes, coats, etc. to carry.

Keep it simple. If you want to give gifts, give them out yourself.

It's certainly a lesson learnt!

My DD works in a nursery, she has just moved from the baby room to the toddler room, there is no way on some days that extra stuff can be given out.

Sometimes, it would be possible, but it depends on what is happening and what staff are in.

The children won't miss having cakes and most Nursery's are not encouraging special occasions to be marked with eating crap, these days. The children will not link the two events, unless your child was handing them out and saying goodbye at the same time.

You just can't get the staff these days.
You should have handed them out yourself or organised someone else to do it.
I had someone send in an entire sodding birthday cake to be cut up and distributed to the class. No knife, napkins or plates, just the arrogant expectation that I would leap to attention when my lady snapped her fingers, and be delighted to provide whatever service she expected.
She was fuming too, to receive the cake back at the end of the day.

The plan was to let ds give them out . I didn't actualy want the nursery to do it for me. It does say that at the start of the thread.

You expected your son to give out 40 cakes and chocolate bars? How old is he - 4?

He's 3 I'd stupidly put them in baskets so he could stand at the front when they sang his goodbye song to him. Holding the baskets. Never mind I won't be doing it again !

You must feel like Galileo, it's so hard when you know that the son is the centre of the solar system and all must orbit, but others just refuse to see.

Most nurseries won't give out food gifts/treats because of allergies. Some children also aren't allowed cake and chocolate on a regular basis.

Personally if my ds makes cakes at nursery they put it in his bag and say when I collect him 'There's a cake in his bag' this is really frustrating at 5:45 when we're on our way home for dinner and all he wants is his cake. Perhaps they're trying to avoid that situation.

Some of you are being a bit harsh, dd's old nursery welcomed cakes for any occasion including birthdays and leaving days. They would have them for their snack.

Handing them out at pick up is a bit difficult though as nursery pick up is a different times depending on when the parent's work.

When you want to give out something at his school eg. for his birthday, just speak to the teacher first and ask what is suitable.