Fuming at nursery not giving out leaving gifts.

[debbie1412]

Ok my son left a well established nursery on Monday to go to his local pre-school. I gave a card and 2 tins of chocolates for the staff . I bought 40 fairy cakes and 40 freddo bars as a leaving gift to be shared out for his room. At reception I was told they couldn't give the children the treats in nursery asit was against their policy. They would give them at as the children left nursery that day. I've found out of 5 seperate mums that their children recieved no gift from my son . I'm so annoyed. I'm not the type of person who likes confrontation so I don't want to go in and moan. Plus I'm not sure they would care. What would you do???

They sing a goodbye song?

I bet they didn't bother doing that either.

Go and reclaim the baskets.

Ha probably, who knows what goes on x

Hm. Bit disappointing but not something I would be fuming about tbh. Have they provided adequate care for your son during the time he's been there? If so, I'd forget about the cakes/sweets. Especially as you don't want to go in and complain, so I'm not sure what other action you expect people to suggest. And I hardly think silver's quite amusing post was worth that personal attack.

I have worked in a nursery and can see why they didn't give them out. Parents come to pick their children up at all different times, when a child is going home if they were given a fairy cake and a freddo then all the rest of the children in the room would want one there and then!

Pick up is busy enough for staff without remembering to hand out treats too! Also alot of parents wouldn't be happy with their children receiving a fairy cake and a freddo, and the nursery workers would get the brunt end of it from parents!

Also, how do you know that 5 parents didn't receive- did you ask them?

It's more the fact they could of said we don't really do that an I'd of said ok never mind and took the stuff home, but they never they said yes of course but it has to be done this way. Instead they took the stuff and then never bothered .

You were expecting a 3 year old to stand still with baskets full of sweets, with other 3 year olds standing equally still, singing, looking at baskets full of sweets? LOL LOL LOL is this a wind up?

My bet is that the nursery staff figured this would turn into complete chaos and mayhem and kept the baskets full of sweets away from the singing.

Its a bigger event for you than it is for the staff. Their first nursery is a big deal for us as mothers and moving on can feel like a major step. I can see why you wanted to mark it with something kind and generous.

I'm afraid I think it was a bit unusual to do this, though meant kindly, and I dont think it is that unreasonable that the staff didn't manage to do it the way you had planned it. There's all kinds of problems with handing out food to toddlers in a childcare setting, I'm afraid.

Don't worry about it so much and try to be understanding of the very busy staff, who after all did look after Dc very well all the time he was there.

Is there a rule about this?

At dd's school the children on their birthdays used to hand out chocolate bars or sweets to the whole class at the end of the day.

That is - until some (killjoy) parent stormed into the school and said it contravened their healthy eating status and the school had to ban the practice.

Perhaps they're afraid of a similar parent getting hot under the collar.

They didn't even get as far as the classroom. They said they would keep them in reception and give them to them on the way out the door.

Do nothing. Silver was a bit cruel, but I think you went a bit over the top. Kids leave nurseries all the time. It's not really such a big deal for the staff or other families.

Maybe the parents were offered them, but declined, and then felt awkward telling you they did not want them?

I thought silvers post was really sweet!

nice idea but clearly not practical. Oh well. Lesson learned for everyone else, and for the OP should there be any more kids.

why the big fuss about leaving playgroup? (Or indeed any educational establishment). I remember last day at senior school, it was 'have a nice life' after a few outings and that was it. As it should be.

What a lovely thing to do , you seem kind OP .

I would give them a phone call , just ask in a nice manner . If they didn't hand them out or let the parents take one when collecting then they probably shared them out and ate them, which is greed on teachers part in my opinion .. But good on you for being nice .. Not many would do that .

This thread has made me laugh

I used to reject a lot of the cake and chocolate offerings from preschool - it just gets too much. I don't want my child getting that kind of stuff twice a week on top of any treats that we might have at home or on trips out as a family.

Thankfully at school they have a healthy eating policy and so we don't get any. lainie - there is nothing killjoy about not wanting your child to come out of school and immediately start eating sweets and chocolate and smearing it all over their uniform, their siblings, the car, etc etc. I am glad that I know that DS isn't getting given any cake or chocolate at school - that stuff is for parties, days out and so on, not school.

I def didn't put enough thought into it. I do understand and won't do it again but they could of said. I'm more offended this way then I would of been just taking it back home again.

Sorry OP. You're being very precious and silver is dead right really

It was a nice though op. Good luck to your little lad in his new class.

Oh I'm sorry you're disappointed OP. It's hard when your young child is going through a change and you're trying to manage the transition.

I'm a bad, bad person though because I did LOL at the image of a small 3yo standing with baskets of 40 cakes and 40 Freddos, while beady eyed children advanced upon him, singing. It's like a sinister buckaroo.

Debbie, they probably meant to do what you asked them to do, and then life happened (as it does with a classroom full of little kids) and they didnt manage it. I dont think they just decided not to bother from the outset. Dont be offended, they have a lot on and sometimes stuff just happens.

show me too, its a great picture.. Mine would have been coming up round the back.

OP, ignore the miserable sods on here. I think it was a lovely thing that you did and I know of lots of confident 2-3-4 year olds that DD went to school with who would have happily stood at the door with baskets of treats to give to their friends (unfortunately DD wouldn't because she's quite shy).

As an aside, those posters who say their nurseries have 'banned the practice' normally because one miserable parent has said that they don't want their 'precious' DC given unhealthy treats, the Nursery owners need to grow a backbone.

At DD's pre-school the owner would have said 'if you don't like it you know what you can do' which is exactly what he said to someone who complained that the Vicar came in before the Easter holidays to tell the story of Jesus resurrection. An establishment cannot be ruled by one parent and if it's a good, well-established school, there will always be someone else willing to take up a place if one becomes available .

Having said that if it was EVERY DAY that is a different matter, but I doubt it is...

I think I would leave it though OP and as someone else has suggested, maybe with your DS's new pre-school, ask what is the 'norm' before you offer such a nice gesture again.

Right, off to work out what Halloween cupcakes to do to send into DD's new reception class the day before the half-term break...

I think goodbye cards would have been more appropriate, or a "leaving do" if you really wanted to do something with the children. Although doing anything with or for that many children. Why not just "do" the staff and be done with it?

P.S. Silverapples was not "vile".

And when would the staff have time to hand out leaving cards?? It makes no odds !

They seem to find it a bit easier to slip a card into a child's bag, than a food treat.