Fuming at nursery not giving out leaving gifts.

[debbie1412]

Ok my son left a well established nursery on Monday to go to his local pre-school. I gave a card and 2 tins of chocolates for the staff . I bought 40 fairy cakes and 40 freddo bars as a leaving gift to be shared out for his room. At reception I was told they couldn't give the children the treats in nursery asit was against their policy. They would give them at as the children left nursery that day. I've found out of 5 seperate mums that their children recieved no gift from my son . I'm so annoyed. I'm not the type of person who likes confrontation so I don't want to go in and moan. Plus I'm not sure they would care. What would you do???

It was a nice thought, but in reality these things are rarely wanted by staff or other parents.

We have issues with our nursery's tight food policies (we have to take bread in because of his allergies/ intolerances, and they can't accept it when already frozen, a PITA when it's a 12 mile round trip to buy a loaf so I have to stockpile it and freeze it). DS certainly isn't the only child there with allergies/ intolerances to ingredients in chocolate and cake, so it would present a difficulty to staff to vet ingredients and exclude some children. Plus it may not be known which children may have parents with a general objection to sweet treats.

It was a nice thought, but I can understand why it was a problem to the nursery.

When my son finished at nursery recently, I made cakes for all the staff and children. They were really pleased and gave them out without any issues at all. A lot of the other parents brought in leaving gifts like sweets, etc. And they were also given out with no fuss. In fact I had a chat with the manager about it, and she mentioned how much they enjoy the treats that people bring in. She also acknowledged that it is a big deal when the children leave and go to school, not just for the parents but for the staff as well! Probably all part of the reason why I've been so happy with the nursery all this time!!

Well you would have been welcome at our old nursery OP. They used to give the kids birthday cake at break!!!! Can you imagine?!!

Just this wk DS had a birthday cake for pudding in his pre school. It's funny because the nursery we just left gave cake and crisps at Xmas parties. Hey Ho live and learn.

Debbie the Pre-School my eldest children attended used to stand at the door with the treats (for birthdays, etc.) in a basket so the child (leaving with the parents) could take/not take as appropriate. No biggy.

Aw it was a nice idea but they should have just said no. At my nursery we can't allow any home made food like cakes at all, and we wouldn't agree to give out chocolate.

We love treats at my nursery and we happily give them out. Sometimes though the end of nursery can be a bit frantic and we forget! So we give them out the next day.

It was nice of you to do leaving gifts, but you (and so many other parents) fail to appreciate that bringing in chocolate and sweets flies in the face of the healthy eating policy. To you it is one off but to them it is all too frequent. I am sure they will be happy to give them back to you. Staff get given too much sugary things too. They prefer it if you donate a book or a nice educational toy.

I'm confused. 5 children didn't receive 'a gift from your son' or didn't receive the cake and freddo? Could it be that they were offered the cake and chocolate and just didn't realise that was what it was for. My 2 would often skip out of school with a lollipop or pack of haribos and, when asked, would say it was 'because it was someone's birthday'. If the parent had then asked a couple of days later if my child had 'received a gift' from theirs I doubt I would have put 2 and 2 together.

Bloody drama queens on this thread, it is standard practice at our primary school for kids to bring in sweets on their birthdays to hand out to the class, and the teachers manage to deal with this without having a nervous breakdown or anyone getting sugar poisoning/dying of childhood obesity.

DS used to frequently bring home bits of birthday cake etc from nursery and the staff managed to hand that out to everyone as they left without a cake stampede.

Sounds like nursery were a bit unprepared or disorganised, sorry for you OP :(

I have to say, my nursery would have been fine with this. I have received homemade cakes etc from other children and thought it was sweet. Maybe you should have asked them if it was manageable, or bagged them up beforehand. As others have said, the staff were probably just too busy.

I don't think you can make assumptions about nursery staff and what they like/dislike - you should ask them. At DD's nursery, they welcome cakes etc and enjoy it when I and other parents bake them something.

Some of you lot are a bunch of miseries. I think it's a lovely gesture. I'm a teacher and have no issue with making 5 minutes at the end of the day to give out birthday treats etc.
What's the big issue with the odd treat after school?

And with regard to allergies etc . I've had the odd child unable to eat chocolate and the parents/me just provide a small stash of sweets they are allowed to give them instead.

DS2's nursery expect cake for birthday, the nursery information booklet requests it! Never heard of anyone doing anything for leaving though.

When did it happen, this switch to taking in sweets/birthday cake to school?

Didn't happen in the 70's at all. Or not where I'm from. Happens loads now.

When was the change?

It's not 'giving out sweets at every opportunity' it's marking a specific occasion.
Bunch of ungrateful miseries.
It just sounds so sanctimonious.