13 yr old ds is wants to play GTA

[bobblechops]

He's been sulking since he got home from school, apparrently every single one of his friends has it and me and his df abvu for not allowing him to play it. We do allow him to play some games such a COD, Halo, and a few others that my dp will check first to see whether they are ok but we both feel that GTA is just to adult, lots of sexual content, too much violence etc. My ds is a very very good lad, he is doing well at school and is always well behaved and is really trying not to be upset but I can see he is feeling very left out and all his friends have been teasing him a bit about not being allowed to play it, this won't change our minds but I am feeling very guilty about it, AIBU?

It doesn't have to be part of teen life. These are adult games, with adult ratings, made by adults for adults.

Viole t games don't normalise violence, most people are well adjusted enough to know it isn't normal. I love violent games, I have never been in a fight in my whole life (unless you count spats with my brother when we were kids - pre-video games). I enjoy the escapism. Car chase games are dull as fuck.

Should say, I'm not really defending GTA, I think it looks a bit crap. Not going to play it. However Payday 2 is excellent, and in no way makes me want to shoot up a jewellery store or do a bank heist.

I hate horror films, they bring me out in a cold sweat. I hate shooters like COD, they make me nervous and lots of them have a very claustrophobic, 'being chased' feel that I hate. I'm not a massive fan of the earlier GTAs but I can tell already that this one is going to be my favourite.

It's not about the violence, the sex, the guns, those are just byproducts of the amazing story that I am going to play through - but it's also what makes it unsuitable for the under 18s. FWIW I do tend to avoid the strip clubs et al, the only time I see that sort of stuff is in a cutscene.

So far in GTA5 my has friend grassed me up to a rival gang - ended up in a shootout, my son tried to sell my yacht and was kidnapped - went and rescued him, and I think I've also got accidentally caught up with a mob

But mainly I have been walking my dog, clothes shopping, and I did steal someones jetski for a ride round the pier and put it back nicely when I was done. I have nicked a car, after my beach day out it was dark and raining and I didn't want to walk. I took one from the rich part of town so I'm sure they can afford another.

Clearly it's different strokes for different folks, because I ain't touching Payday ever

"I think films are different though. You are not so immersed and more likely to be 'in fear of what could happen to the person on the screen'. You are making judgements when watching a film about the behaviour of characters but not taking part in the persona yourself of say a criminal able to kill innocent passers-by and letting young kids play it because someone is making a massive profit from manufacturing it."

Who is to say you can't make judgement of the protagonist of a game? Just because I'm playing as a character, I don't become them. There was a mission in a previous GTA which was criticised by players for the reaction of the player character to a minor slight.

Some games you have agency, in some you can negotiate situations peacefully, which I would choose to do in most situations, GTA is quite linear in missions, the player is playing a part, not being able to influence the outcome in most cases. , Murderofgoths mentions Payday 2, you can't decide not to rob the bank, it doesn't mean that the player will sympathise with bank robbers.

A lot of games play with the relationship with the protagonist, like the Metal Gear Solid games. Spec Ops: The Line in particular beat the player over the head with it, essentially putting the protagonist into an unwinnable situation and telling the player that the only way to win is not to play and telling them off for wanting to play the hero so recklessly.

Basically I find that a lot of people just see violence and think that the player is going 'yeah, shooting real, living people is great! I love violence!' when it's not the case.

There's actually been some discussion that video games allow you to separate the game from reality more from films because you are in control. I bring this up every time someone trots out the video game/film line. I really should've bookmarked the bloomin' page.

I have heard that the differences from reality draw you out more than in other media. Playing Metal Gear Solid 3 the other day, having to fiddle around for 10 seconds to make the legendary soldier I was controlling vault a 2 foot wall certainly broke my immersion.

Really relieved about this thread. My 12 year old (year 8) says lots of the boys in his year have got the game and he himself was in two minds about whether he should get it, as they all told him it was brilliant. I did a bit of research and found at least one very unsuitable scene which I told him about, plus (I can see some really good scenes) He hasn't mentioned it since then.

^ A rule I have used in the past is to go one rating above, so you could offer him a compromise for in the future by saying when he's 15 he can watch or play films and games which are rated 18.

I personally find the 18 rating irrelevant and think 16 should be the top age. I probably should admit my 14 year old DS has been playing the new GTA this evening but he has older siblings and really it was unrealistic not to let him, especially when I know he has access to it at cousins and friends.^

I agree the 18 age rating for films/ video games etc is totally pointless and mostly ignored. I think the games should just come with a 'parental advisory explicit content' sticker, like the music cd's. No need for specific ages categories, that should be for the parents to decide.

I have a 12 year old. When he was little, we had an understanding that he could eat whatever was offered qt parties or at other people's houses, but we were quite strict at home. We have the same deal about video games- I don't allow ones that are not "age appropriate" into our house, but if they are being played at someone else's house,he is allowed to join in.

I try to avoid letting ugly, tasteless and vulgar things into my house.

I'm really impressed with this thread. My 13 yr old (yr 8) thinks he should have the game. We have never let him have any GTA games, and reading about this one with its prostitutiion alone put me right off. Now reading about all this other stuff has certainly made me realise I will stick to my beliefs, and not give in just because friends have it. It sounds gross. I read also that there is an 'up skirt' camera (?!) I ask you! BIG NO.

My SIL is letting our 10yo nephew play it. Me and my husband are both pretty hardcore gamers and we've tried telling her that 18 rated games are inappropriate god a boy his age, (I seriously doubt she'd let him watch The Sopranos or Goodfellas) but she doesn't listen to us. I don't want to be all judgey-pants about her parenting decisions as he is a realky nice young lad, but if he were mine I definitely would not be allowing it.

I think its a perfectly reasonable response, OP. GTA represents quite an extreme end of the 18 certificate - it has been given that certificate for a reason. In my opinion, as somebody who has a role in that industry, it is utterly inappropriate for a 13yo to play GTA, and you are 100% right to put your foot down. There is much more room for tolerance and buyer discretion for games such as Call of Duty, but the themes in GTA are far too mature for a 13yo. GTA mixes crude frat-boy humour with incisive political comedy and very dark satire, on important subjects including a raft of issues surrounding racism and sexism. I do not feel even a very mature 13yo would be able to distinguish where those lines are.

Though some parents are irresponsible enough to buy the game for underage children, a significant majority of your son's friends are likely to just be watching demonstration videos (called "Let's Plays") on YouTube.

Your decision is the right one. Stand by it.

BTW: If you, or any other poster, has questions about GTAV, or just video games in general, be it about buying, regulating, etc, please make a post in the video games thread and Ill answer it for you, usually within 3 days.

I'll always remember what my mam said to my sister and I growing up: "I'm your parent, not your friend; if they coincide it's coincidence". She was right although we hated it at the time. In the future my DD may wail and gnash that I'm not buying her GTA XX or whatever, but I'll be doing the same: my job is to parent her, not to be her friend and let her do as she pleases.

And I'm sorry, but in no way does the older-sibling-has-the-game-so-nothing-we-can-do wash. DH has GTA; no chuffing way is he playing it when DD's around. I was only allowed to watch 18 rated films when 15 year old DSis wasn't around. Not very hard.

Theres a video games thread??

Video games chat

I've been playing gta and there is a mission where you have to torture a man, even too hardcore for me, so definitely for adults only.

Bobblechops - I have been having the very same dilemma. Thank you to whoever posted the link as I had no real idea of the content of the game. My son is also 13 and just about all his friends are allowed to have it. My son plays COD etc but this GTA is beyond the pale I think. Yet you do doubt yourself. After looking at the postings here I think I will stick to my original feelings and not let him have it. The language is horrible to listen to - I can't be the only mum to think this?

Thanks CommanderShepard for linking to the video games thread. If any of you have questions about video games, please post them there and I will be only too pleased to try and help you! :) Having them all in one thread helps me keep track of them all so I'm not wandering all over Mumsnet looking out for stuff. And if anybody sees a video game question, send the poster my way! :)

Whilst I'm here though, here is a GameHub TIP: if you have a teenager who is nagging you for GTAV, ask them why it is they want it. If its just "cos everybody else has it," then that's an issue I can't resolve. (Ball is in your court, Mum! :) ). HOWEVER, if they can say what aspect of the game it is that they are interested in, (listen out for words like "sandbox", "world", "quest" "racing" "heists") then write it down and tell me what they said and I can recommend a game with that content that is more age appropriate for them to have instead!
You would be surprised at the number of gamers who are actually not particularly interested in the sex, drugs and violence, but what they actually really want to do is to go hang-gliding over the virtual mountains, play Tennis, or race mountain bikes with their friends, as much as they also want to drive cars and shoot guns. The core attraction of GTA is that it lets you do all these things, all in one game.

TL;DR Games are, at their heart, about having great experiences, so find out what experience it is that your teenager actually wants to have, and I will try to recommend a game that replicates it. How does that sound?

I respect everyone in here's right to decide that their children are too young for GTA.

But I am a bit to hear people are discussing a game in which assault, beatings, carjackings, hit and runs, muggings, hostage-taking, extortion, torture, kidnappings and murder (with guns, knives, swords, blunt instruments, hand grenades, bombs, and people being kicked to death) are absolutely central, and reject it because of cartoon striptease scenes, the presence of clothed prostitutes on street corners, or alleged 'upskirt' images.

My husband has this game. The language is appalling. Every sentence seems to contain the words fuck, shit or "nigga" - mostly used as a term of endearment between characters but I'd worry about a young person realising it's completely inappropriate to ever use the word. I can't stand it.

That's before you even get to the content of the game. So definitely no for a 13 year old I think.

Yanbu!it isnt suitable full stop.

I bloody love GTA V, and all the rest of them. I'm 26. Would I let my (hypothetical) 13 year old play them? Not a chance in hell.

Well done for holding a firm line to you. I know it's so hard to communicate to a child that age that they don't know everything, that they're still maturing, that at that age they can't understand irony and subversion and social critique (which are all, I firmly believe, the primary message of GTA games) and that they don't have the emotional distancing capacities of adults which is needed to not take them at face value.

And you can see the kid's POV, all you have to go on is your experience of the world up to your current point. At every point in your life you're the oldest you've ever been, at every moment you think you're as wise as can be, simply because you haven't lived the moments ahead of you yet that make you realise there's so much more to grow.

But it is damaging to kids. It's dirty, disrespectful (to both genders) and gives a gleefully obscene picture of delinquent life that can only be enjoyed harmlessly from the perspective of a mature, healthy viewpoint that knows that life isn't like that really. That knows the GTA universe is glamorous escapism, but that it would be a horrible dystopism if it was real.

You're doing the right thing. But it must be so hard for you, and hard for your tyke to understand. Good luck with it.

No one asked fella

Hello fellow mummy's, is gta 5 approved by you for my 13 year old benji, I want the best for my little man