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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

13 yr old ds is wants to play GTA

99 replies

bobblechops · 17/09/2013 21:07

He's been sulking since he got home from school, apparrently every single one of his friends has it and me and his df abvu for not allowing him to play it. We do allow him to play some games such a COD, Halo, and a few others that my dp will check first to see whether they are ok but we both feel that GTA is just to adult, lots of sexual content, too much violence etc. My ds is a very very good lad, he is doing well at school and is always well behaved and is really trying not to be upset but I can see he is feeling very left out and all his friends have been teasing him a bit about not being allowed to play it, this won't change our minds but I am feeling very guilty about it, AIBU?

OP posts:
MurderOfGoths · 17/09/2013 22:17

cafe Yeah, though I think probably, given they also took his phone and wallet it was a general mugging that happened to include GTA V rather than targeted for the game.

Jaskla · 17/09/2013 22:19

My brother was allowed to play GTA at that age - the content is no worse than what they hear everyday at school, especially now they all have smartphones/ipods to watch this sort of material. I don't know whether this new one is any worse than the ones a couple of years ago?!

I wouldn't agree with letting children below high school age play it but older kids will end up playing it anyway at friends houses.

I also look at it from the point of view that my cousin was badly bullied due to the attitude of my aunt who refused to let him play/watch anything that was a 12 or 15 certificate at high school age. He is now 17 and is still not allowed facebook (he does have it but she doesn't know). I think sometimes making a big deal of something like this actually makes it worse. I would be extremely upset if I felt that my child had to go behind my back with something like this just to be accepted by friends.

Having said that I do think it depends on the individual child and their level of maturity.

Original poster
bobblechops · 17/09/2013 22:20

TigOldbitties I think I know what you mean, he is really still quite a young 13, I will probably be more likely to allow it when he gets to that stage, have to say I'm dreading that Wink

OP posts:
MurderOfGoths · 17/09/2013 22:20

"I don't know whether this new one is any worse than the ones a couple of years ago?!"

It is. They've upped the shock level. As Rockstar tend to do.

Mabelface · 17/09/2013 22:23

I won't let my 14 year old boys have this, and their 20 year old brother agrees with me wholeheartedly. My boys don't day to day look at violent porn, scenes of torture, necrophilia etc so I won't encourage it.

Thisisaeuphemism · 17/09/2013 22:26

I agree madlizzy, I'm amazed that parents actually want their sons to spend hours every night looking at that violent shit. Feel sorry for my dd.

blueemerald · 17/09/2013 22:29

I work in a boys school and have a year 10 form (14-15 years old). 4 boys in the form (out of 6, it's a school for boys with behavioural, social and emotional difficulties so very small classes) was making out like they had this game today. The nature of their conversations made me think they were pretending and the class TA (who really did queue up at midnight to buy it.... Hmm) confirmed this later. I suspect there won't be that many KS3 pupils out there with this game and the novelty will wear off.

Conversations in the playground have already started turning to the release of Fifa 2014....

McNewPants2013 · 17/09/2013 22:29

my cousin was badly bullied

I believe a bully will always bully another person regardless of the reason.

I don't this is a strong enough reason to buy a violent video game.

themightyfandango · 17/09/2013 22:36

It's so hard to police this stuff. I have parental software on everything and things still slip through. I found out my Ds was watching walkthroughs of games he wasn't allowed on YouTube so watch out for that too.

weeblueberry · 17/09/2013 22:37

My brother was allowed to play GTA at that age - the content is no worse than what they hear everyday at school, especially now they all have smartphones/ipods to watch this sort of material.

Do kids regularly discuss and look up female prostitution, dismemberment, necrophilia and randomly shooting police officers and civilians for the lulz? Hmm

StuntGirl · 17/09/2013 22:47

I was going to come and say something similar blueberry Grin

If it were suitable for 13 year olds it would be a 12 rated. Clearly it's not going to turn anyone into a drug crazy murderous psychopath, or whatever ridiculous straw man arguement people come up with, but it still stands it isn't suitable for children.

JCDenton · 18/09/2013 01:19

YANBU. I'm a fan of the series and while I don't have this one yet (I do my gaming on a PC), I somehow doubt that it's become the Magic Roundabout since the last one ;-)

He'll just have to play it when he's older.

JCDenton · 18/09/2013 01:25

Also, I've been impressed by the discussion of the game of MN, it has been the subject of a few shitfests in the past because it's a 'name' but generally the feeling now is bang on that it's an adult game that normal adults play and not a psychopathy simulator for weirdos.

ukatlast · 18/09/2013 01:36

Bobblechops what is okay about COD?
If it makes you feel any better my two are only allowed to play age appropriate (as per ratings) games.
There is the possibility they will play at friends' houses but that limits exposure at least as they are mainly at home.

ukatlast · 18/09/2013 01:41

JCDenton - sorry to disappoint. I can't understand why 'normal' adults would want to play such violent games either.

Tee2072 · 18/09/2013 07:59

Same reason we watch violent films, ukatlast.

Because they are fun.

Madamecastafiore · 18/09/2013 08:05

Wouldn't have that shit in my house for anyone to play let alone a 13 year old.

Madamecastafiore · 18/09/2013 08:08

And for the people who say 'oh they won't understand what is going on' when talking about younger children playing it can you not see how detrimental this is to them. Their brains cannot process what they are seeing and think about it appropriately. They do not have developed skills to be able to judge what us right and wrong and why.

JCDenton · 18/09/2013 10:57

Exactly, Tee2072. I suppose there will always be people who get judgey over what other adults play/watch/read.

teenagetantrums · 18/09/2013 11:11

My 19 year old has it I wouldn't have let him at 13, but would have done when he was 16, his dad on the other hand let him play any game from a young age, wasn't much I could do about that as it was at his house, doesn't seem to have done my son any harm. I imagine your son will play this anyway at his friends houses but doesn't mean you have to let it into your house.

TheFuzz · 18/09/2013 11:31

No chance. My son is a similar age, asked last night, if he saved up could he buy it. My answer was no, and said check with mum as well.

He said he'd seen the you tube video's of it and a school friend had queued up at midnight for it. Got to question some parents. My son was interested as the adverts show lots of car chases etc.

My wife would go mental if she actually knew what the game was like.

The Xbox is on the main TV, so no way (younger siblings). I've allowed Halo and that's it with violent games - Halo isn't realisting and there aren't guts and swearing all over the show.

ukatlast · 18/09/2013 11:37

'Same reason we watch violent films, ukatlast.

Because they are fun.'

I think films are different though. You are not so immersed and more likely to be 'in fear of what could happen to the person on the screen'. You are making judgements when watching a film about the behaviour of characters but not taking part in the persona yourself of say a criminal able to kill innocent passers-by and letting young kids play it because someone is making a massive profit from manufacturing it.

I went off all horror films as soon as I had kids actually and never really liked them anyway but my DH used to take me to see Nightmare on Elm Street etc ...I doubt I would have sought them out at all left to my own devices...Alfred Hitchcock is more my level. Tarantino has merit but the violence is excessive.

I think the makers of the games are descending constantly to the lowest common denominator of depravity if necrophilia is depicted...really that is a normal adult pre-occupation? I think not. At what point even though is the content of games is for adults, is it deemed unfit for publication?

MurderOfGoths · 18/09/2013 11:39

Saw this article this morning, talking about the torture scene in GTAV. Complete with video.

MurderOfGoths · 18/09/2013 11:43

ukatlast If you aren't interested in horror films then it follows that you wouldn't necessarily understand the appeal in horror/violent games. Personally I really enjoy the safe thrill of them. Knowing you can switch off. Same reason I enjoy ghost stories and rollercoasters. It's a safe way of experiencing more extreme emotions.

There are definitely games that tend towards lowest common denominator, personally I put both GTAV and COD into that category, but others will have their own opinions.

There are games that have been deemed unsuitable for publication, some really awful shit. But IMO games have a long way to go before the hit the depths popular films have been at for a while.

ukatlast · 18/09/2013 11:48

The porn they look at - top-shelf girlie mags in the 1970s - doesn't have to be violent...I know a lot may be and totally unrealistic but that's sexual awakening.
I don't see why being interactively violent has to be part of teenage life in the 21st Century, yet everyone takes it as a given and helps the companies making this stuff massive profits in the process. A violent interactive game is normalising violence...why can't you just have a thrilling car chase fgs - why does sexual peversion have to be in the mix as well?