Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Flip

1 2 ··· 32 33 34 ··· 40 41

Original poster

To speak to the school?

1002 replies

Orchwoid · 17/09/2013 17:47

I've just been to collect my son from his school and he's told me that he won't be cast in his school Christmas play but all the other children will.

I am fumming. I am going to go and speak to his teacher first thing tomorrow morning but I am so angry that I can't work out whether I'm being reasonable or not.

OP posts:

SilverApples · 19/09/2013 08:15

The shepherds are from Luke's Gospel, to show that Christ the Lord came to be a saviour for the poor and excluded in society, in the same way that the Magi are in Matthew to represent Christ being the Redeemer for all Mankind, not just the Jews.
It's a complicated mythology where all the roles have huge symbolic impact.

SoupDragon · 19/09/2013 08:16

I think this is a clear case of the teacher's position always being in the wrong.

exoticfruits · 19/09/2013 08:18

So- is OP serious or just a very good troll?

SilverApples · 19/09/2013 08:19

Truf Dat.
However dim, confused or ranty the parents are.

difficultpickle · 19/09/2013 08:19

How did I miss this? So the OP doesn't want her ds to be involved in any aspect of religious worship at school which excludes participating in the school play. However she doesn't want her ds to help behind the scenes I don't want my son to open any curtains Lovely.

Also good to know that Christmas and Easter aren't religious festivals. Ds will be delighted. He's a chorister and usually there is lots and lots of singing to do at various services. I'll let him and the Dean know that they don't need to bother now

CatAmongThePigeons · 19/09/2013 08:21

A non religious part in a play about religion. Oookay.

LIZS · 19/09/2013 08:22

Sorry ^If your original request to exclude withdraw him was as strident as your posts here it is no wonder they didn't even bother to check with you.
Wouldn't you just love to be a fly in the wall of that staffroom today. If I have read it correctly child has only just joined the school in which case this is just the beginning of a 4 year relationship. OP you may like to decide which battles to pick longer term, although can see that for you this is important in setting the ground rules.

LookingThroughTheFog · 19/09/2013 08:23

If I were a Muslim and there was a big event happening and my child came back and said he was excluded from the whole thing because he's not Christian

Yes, this would annoy me too. However, if I were a Muslim, and I'd specifically asked the school not to include my child in Christian worship I'd be livid if they decided that actually I should participate in Mass for fear of being left out.

Which is the case here.

Like Families said, there is the opportunity to flag the issue up with the parent prior to discussing it with the child. Personally I think that could have happened. In a school with a large proportion of non-Christian pupils, there could even be a quick memo out to parents on the lines of 'if you have any problem with your child being in the play, please let us know by X date so we can allocate parts.' That doesn't seem to be rocket science to me.

But dealing with it all with a few little administrative changes so that you can be both sensitive and inclusive is a bit more sensible than going at it claiming that Christmas isn't religious. It's cultural too, and there are a wealth of different cultural celebrations of it, but that doesn't make it any less religious.

picniclady · 19/09/2013 08:23

Hilarious

LIZS · 19/09/2013 08:25

You might want to check where your ds stands on the parts of the national curriculum where they look at other religions and festivals too - Diwali, Judaism etc - or do you accept that as cultural rather than religious?

Turniptwirl · 19/09/2013 08:30

Most non Christians are tolerant enough to let their child take part in all school activities and therefore don't withdraw them from these.

Most people who do withdraw their children from religious activities do so because of deeply held beliefs and have considered their decision and the implications of it for their child very carefully. They don't need reminding that the nativity (not Christmas, not winterval, not Yule, not solstice but the fucking nativity filee) is a Christian tradition and are they sure they don't want their child taking part.

OP is simply insane.

How were the teachers to know she would be like this? They respected her wishes and are also respecting the insanity. God bless them, every one!

Sirzy · 19/09/2013 08:33

You can just picutre the AIBU can't you -

"AIBU to think the school should listen to me"

I told them he couldn't be do any of that god shit and now they are pestering me asking if he can be part of things. why don't they bloody listen

----

Schools really can't win with some parents!

filee777 · 19/09/2013 08:35

That's exactly what I have said the whole time looking that due to the size and cultural significance of the celebration on more than just the Christian children, the parents should have been contacted first and foremost and been involved in the decision and possible exclusion from the event.

It was handled badly, plain and simple.

Sirzy · 19/09/2013 08:38

It was handled badly, plain and simple.

It was handled badly, by his mother. All the school did was respect the parents wishes!

SaggyOldClothCatPuss · 19/09/2013 08:41

Can I just point out to Filee that a winter celebration is no less steeped in religion and God shit than a Christmas play. And far more blood thirsty than the nativity.

The pagans/Celts/Druids were no less religious than the Christians. By doing any kind of winter celebration, people are tipping their hats to religion in some form. Even Santa is religious...real name...SAINT Nicholas!

filee777 · 19/09/2013 08:41

Sending out an informative letter, or a quick casual chat after school is not 'pestering' it's a big part of the schools Calendar if they are starting the proceedings now, it wouldn't hurt to work out which children could be involved and in which way.

Religious differences should not exclude a child in this way!

LIZS · 19/09/2013 08:42

Somehow in op's mind the idea of the wonderful Nativity "play" she chose the school for and her decision to withdraw him from religious elements have become divorced. Maybe you aren't the only atheist at the school and your predecessors haven't allowed their dc to participate.

Sirzy · 19/09/2013 08:42

They are only excluded when the parents make it that way!

filee777 · 19/09/2013 08:42

Lots of non-religious people celebrate Christmas as it is a cultural celebration.

People should be allowed to celebrate as they wish, no need for the animosity towards those who celebrate differently.

LIZS · 19/09/2013 08:45

No sense of animosity or exclusion , I think the school have been confused by where the op draws her particular line, perhaps because she was so adamant in the first place. Agree with others that a Nativity play is a form of religious assembly which by her own admission is not what op wants her son partaking or hearing of.

difficultpickle · 19/09/2013 08:49

If, as it seems, the school is doing a nativity play I'm curious filee how this can be viewed as a 'non-religious' celebration.

filee777 · 19/09/2013 08:49

Yes they have been confused. Which is why they should have contacted the parent.

difficultpickle · 19/09/2013 08:51

filee I doubt the school are confused at all. I am sure the OP wrote eloquently to the school setting out clearly her position and the school have followed her wishes. However now the OP has changed her mind and needs to communicate that to the school. Teachers are mostly very good at their jobs but I've yet to meet any that are psychic.

curlew · 19/09/2013 08:54

"If I were a Muslim and there was a big event happening and my child came back and said he was excluded from the whole thing because he's not Christian"

But that's not the point. At our Primary school there were several Witness families. They had specifically said that their children could not be involved in, among other things, any specifically religious lessons or celebrations. They would have been justifiably outraged if a teacher had said "oh, let them be sheep in the Nativity Play so they don't feel left out" In fact we did have an incident where a Reception teacher bent the rules so one of them could take part in the Easter egg hunt by making her a special "Springtime" basket. The parents were not amused, to put it mildly.

If you ask your child to be removed from religious events, they will be.

However, I suspect the OP is either an excellent troll with too much time of her hands, or a person with issues. I do hope she is OK.

friday16 · 19/09/2013 08:57

And aside from the hardest of hardliners (whose concerns would include any music and any drama, not this specific event: they'd be concerned about a school production of Puss In Boots too) Muslim parents may well not have asked for their child to be excluded from Christian worship. People of the book, and all that.

Flip

1 2 ··· 32 33 34 ··· 40 41

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

Join Mumsnet Log In

This thread is not accepting new messages.

Swipe left for the next trending thread