To not pay for private education when I could afford to.

[JammieCodger]

Dons fireproof overalls.

I am extremely lucky. We live in a nice area and live comfortably, although fairly frugally (by habit, rather than necessity, but it would be difficult for us to live less frugally and stay within our means.) Our main outgoings after housing costs seem to be the children’s various after-school activities.

I’ve got even luckier and have been left a significant sum of money. I have known for a while that it was going to be enough to pay off the mortgage and leave the equivalent of my annual part-time wages left over. I dreamed of a new kitchen, but after more thought decided I wanted to spend it on travel. 6 months, rent the house out, take the children out of school for a term and around the world. What we currently pay towards the mortgage would then be put aside for the children’s university costs.

I’ve now found out it’s going to be even more money. At current prices the amount I'm going to get would be almost enough to pay for both children’s entire secondary education at the very good, but very expensive local private day school. That would mean no travel, no money saved, the same old frugality. My husband and I are both public sector workers, so our income is likely to continue to go down in real terms whilst the school fees will, I assume, go up so we’d have to tighten belts over time.

There are some perfectly decent local state secondary schools, although obviously they can’t compete with the private in terms of results or facilities. Am I being unreasonable in thinking that my daughters might benefit more from the opportunities the money will give than from the expensive schooling? (I may be slightly swayed by the fact that I went to private school and have, by dint of being a complete slacker, pretty much squandered any opportunities it gave me whilst my boss, her boss and his boss were all state schooled.)

I was privately educated, my cousin state educated. My cousin earns five times the amount I do. I was bullied at my private school and hated it. It has not set me up for a lifetime of success. DC will be state educated.

I wouldn't go private in your situation.
Pay off mortgage, have fab holidays, every extra curricular activity they want, private tuition if need be, private sixth form if need be....
Mind, like you previously, as I've no chance of sending my girls private, I slate it, and I'm not sure if that's jealousy or not.
Congrats btw, sort of!

I was in your situation a few years ago and decided not to send the kids to private school despite many of my friends with higher incomes doing so, admittedly the very good local Independent school is selective and DS1 would have been unlikely to get in anyway... I have not regretted it, as freelancers in an economic downturn it has been such a relief to not panic in lean times and to be able to say yes to school trips etc. We are now spending it on a bigger house ( not grand but at present we live in a flat) but we will be able to get the money back when we downsize, something we couldn't do with money spent on school fees. It probably helps that although my Dad went to private school he was quite happy to send me to state school.

Thank you all for your responses; lots to think about but particularly good to know that those who have been in a position to go private but chose not to haven't regretted it.

I would do good state over private and give your children a lifetime of memories - holidays, trips, 6 month sabbatical

I really think there's no contest, you can afford to round out their education if needed with whatever activities or groups you / they desire outside school

We chose to go state

We don't regret it

I personally wouldn't bother if the state schools are fine. You would still be making sacrifices to send them by dint of living frugally etc. You need to ask yourself if you'd be pissed off if they didn't do brilliantly after you shelling out all that money (because I probably would).

I think you should either:
a - pay off the mortgage
b - invest/save it so that you can give your kids deposits for houses when they are older (if you want to save it for the kids, you don't have to obviously)

BTW I was educated at both state and private schools. The private school was better, but not really sure it was £xxk better tbh.

Jammie, reading your posts, it sounds to me that your heart and head say not to go private (wisely, as your inheritance is not enough to make this completely financially stress-free) but maybe you feel guilty about not putting education first because that's what some people would do?

If you take away that guilt factor, would you be more sure about deciding to stay state?

Um, probably. And the guilt factor is not helped by the fact that I've recently become aware of how much my parents scrimped and saved to send me and my siblings to private school. So I have a potential guilt sandwich of not having made the most of the opportunities my parents struggled to give me, and not struggling to give those same opportunities to my own children.

At least I'd be choosing not to pass that guilt onto my children. :)

Yanbu but I am of the opinion that in most cases private education is a waste of money.

agree with samnella