To not pay for private education when I could afford to.

[JammieCodger]

Dons fireproof overalls.

I am extremely lucky. We live in a nice area and live comfortably, although fairly frugally (by habit, rather than necessity, but it would be difficult for us to live less frugally and stay within our means.) Our main outgoings after housing costs seem to be the children’s various after-school activities.

I’ve got even luckier and have been left a significant sum of money. I have known for a while that it was going to be enough to pay off the mortgage and leave the equivalent of my annual part-time wages left over. I dreamed of a new kitchen, but after more thought decided I wanted to spend it on travel. 6 months, rent the house out, take the children out of school for a term and around the world. What we currently pay towards the mortgage would then be put aside for the children’s university costs.

I’ve now found out it’s going to be even more money. At current prices the amount I'm going to get would be almost enough to pay for both children’s entire secondary education at the very good, but very expensive local private day school. That would mean no travel, no money saved, the same old frugality. My husband and I are both public sector workers, so our income is likely to continue to go down in real terms whilst the school fees will, I assume, go up so we’d have to tighten belts over time.

There are some perfectly decent local state secondary schools, although obviously they can’t compete with the private in terms of results or facilities. Am I being unreasonable in thinking that my daughters might benefit more from the opportunities the money will give than from the expensive schooling? (I may be slightly swayed by the fact that I went to private school and have, by dint of being a complete slacker, pretty much squandered any opportunities it gave me whilst my boss, her boss and his boss were all state schooled.)

[mrsjay]

will the money cover their fees for all their time in school If you want to then why not , I personally cant see the advantages of private education a kid will learn wherever, but if you can afford it and want to then do it, if you are going to struggle in a few years dont send them and then take them out

[JammieCodger]

I've never been good at decisions, so I'm a bit of a rabbit in the headlights with all the choices.

If we went for a local private then yes, it would be all the money. We'd pay off the mortgage, but then the monthly mortgage money would need to be put aside for fees. There are other independent schools locally, but the cheaper ones are all a bit odd. And evangellical.

Thanks, Lisad. That's something else to feed into the research. And thanks, ISing. Tbh, I expected more responses like Sarascompact's, so I'm rather relieved that most people don't seem to think I'm failing my children by even considering it.

[mrsjay]

when you say results do you mean statistics private schools are usually smaller that big state schools so of course the stats are going to look better and they want you to go to their school

[mrsjay]

It seems if you pay your mortgage then of course you will have money left for fees send them it seems to be what you want to do, I have nothing against private education but I always think because you are paying the schools might play about with their statistics a wee bit,

[invicta]

If paying fees makes you struggle financially, then it may not be the best route to take. I think it would be better to go to a state school, and use the money for the nicer things in life. If the state school lacks in certain areas, then you can always top up with a tutor.

[EastwickWitch]

I'm a believer in State Education, but it's easy for me to say because we have excellent local schools.

I would agree with the poster who suggested moving into the catchment of a great state school then use the excess for foreign exchange trips, extra curricular things & broadening horizons through travel.

If you're set on private have you considered paying the fees in a lump sum & getting a reduction? I know people who've done that.

[mummytime]

If your children are young, and the state primary is good. Then I would keep them in the state system.

Because they are young and imho state schools are better at picking up any SEN (and its too young to know yet).

But then I would be the type of mother who would be gutted if my DD had years of private school and then wanted to be a beautician.

[Twattybollocks]

My kids are y3/4 at local private school. Uniform is very expensive. £18 for a jumper (one to wash one to wear and one in lost property) £39 for a skirt (2) trousers I can thankfully get from asda, same for boys shirts, but girls have rever collar and can only get from proper school shop, around £15 for a two pack. Blazer is £40, school coat £30, school bag £18, pe kit £190 per child, and since boys and girls have different kit I can't hand it down as one grows out of it. Trainers for pe (white) football boots, AstroTurf trainers, hockey sticks, tennis rackets etc etc all on top.
Costs me a sodding fortune. Also just had to fork out £130 each for a residential trip next month.

[Viviennemary]

It is a very personal decision. Some very well off people decide not to privately educate and some struggle to find the money by cutting back. I wouldn't have chosen to do this.

I couldn't have afforded it at the time. If I could have I would definitely have considered it.

[JammieCodger]

Having googled, the top non-selective state school appears to be in Shropshire. It would be a bastard of a commute, but has the advantage that house prices are significantly lower than London.

I'm very much not set on private, quite the opposite; so the broadening horizons through other means appeals to me. The girls do lots of music/dance/sport outside school and those would be the things we have to drop if we had to belt-tighten.

[snickersnacker]

I'd pay off the mortgage, set aside the money for university fees and set up funds for the children to mature when they're 18, 21 or whenever. You can always supplement their state schooling with private tuition at secondary level.

You'd be giving them options at a time when opportunities might be even scarcer than they are now: the deposit on a flat, the means to afford further study or unpaid work in a competitive sector, or to travel.

[Weegiemum]

We could afford private ed for 3xdc (dh is a GP on 100k) but we've decided not to.

Partly so we can continue with music, art, sport as ex-c activities and have great holidays - just had time in Italy visiting roman sites eg Pompeii and climbing mt Vesuvius.

But the main reason for us is that the state school we use is a bilingual school (Scottish Gaelic/English) and honestly, you couldn't buy the education my dc get in the state system compared to the private sector. All 3 are fluent in a second language and its brilliant.

Private isn't always best.

[Lottiedoubtie]

I'd probably pay off the mortgage. Save like mad and go private at either 13+ or 16+. (If money is tight dont go at 11+)

There is no way I'd blow it on travel. Your children can travel on gap years/throughout their 20s if they want- they cannot be educated twice.

[FishfingersAreOK]

My DH's 3 younger brothers went to private school as the state school he had gone to had been struggling so much. PIL really had to tighten belts in order to manage the fees. (DMIL got a job at the nursery school there to get the biggest discount available). DBIL told my DH that he would rather have gone to the crappy state school than live with the knowledge that the fees were big and a worry to his parents. And he said as a teenager it was really, really tough being "poor" at a private school. Mostly he understood why the ski trips and out of school clubs were not always a posisiblity due to financial issues - but as a self absorbed teenager sometimes it sucked. And other kids can be vile. BIL is in his 30s and is the most lovely person imaginable and incredibly grateful to his parents - they do not know that some of the experience was tough because of this lack of ready "wealth" IYSWIM.

I am not necessarily making total sense - but just trying to say he feels struggling to put children through private is not always the benefit you may think. He is grateful for it but parts were tough.

[mummytime]

If you are talking about Thomas Telford it isn't quite as non-selective as it makes out.

BUT you can find very good Comprehensives in places as far apart as Durham, Guildford and Oxford. Don't forget if it is a real comprehensive not all pupils will get 5 A* to C's at GCSE, but even these pupils will hopefully achieve something and have opportunities.

[AvonCallingBarksdale]

Personally, I'd pay off some of the mortgage and use the rest over the years for travel. Perhaps 2 or more foreign holidays a year if possible. Then again, I would always put any extra money into foreign holidays - I know others might go for more concrete options

[AnnaRack]

If private ed isn't your thing, don't do it. There will be plenty of opportunities to spend this money in future - university fees, helping them buy a house, car etc. Also think of your own future - have you got a pension plan? Sorry to sound boring but best to sort out the important stuff before you think about travel.

[dogindisguise]

I don't think my parents - well, my mum anyway - would have sent us to private school even if they'd been millionaires on reason of principle. In terms of exam results my sister and I both did very well although I like to think I could have done better at maths...

How old are your children? If they are very young I would question the value of going travelling. Everything is new and exciting for young children. DH and I are hoping to travel when he has retired.

I don't think you are BU to not go private if you have a good state school nearby. If your children know you value education, you motivate them, do interesting things with them, get them lots of books etc I'm sure they'll do well. There are plenty of advantages to state schooling.

Assuming DH keeps his job we could probably afford to go private (though it might screw up our retirement and we'd have less money to help the children in the future) but are not planning to do so as we have good local schools. This is partly reflected in the house price. We could have got a cheaper house near DH's work but I don't think the schools are much good there.

[MrsOakenshield]

absolutely don't send them to a second-rate private school, that would do them no favours at all.

So, you say you could pay off the mortgage but you'd still have to contribute to fees? Hmm. Paying off the mortgage is good, gives you all the security of owning the roof over your heads outright.

I am very indecisive over things like this. We are dithering over something similarish, have been for bloody months. We are very lucky, but knowing that doesn't help!

[cantthinkofagoodone]

Pay off your mortgage and live a bit less frugally. You could pay for tuition if there was any shortfall. Amazing holidays and security for the future.

[WilsonFrickett]

The greatest gift you can give your children is your own independence.

Pay off the mortgage, sort out your pensions, have money put aside for your future care. Then think about schooling. And tbh I'd base the decision about schooling on what is best for your child, at that point. Let them finish their state primary and then see where you are. They may not even be bright enough for a selective school (sorry. But you do know that's why selective schools have such great results, right?). Go and look around the schools too - you may find their ethos clashes very much with yours. At the moment it's all theoretical, you need some hard info to make an informed decision.

[duchessandscruffy]

I honestly don't think that even if we could afford it I would ever send my ds to private school, I would just move to an area with nice schools. The private education sector is just such a world away from what we are, it just is not 'Us' and it would be strange for ds to enter that world iyswim?

[whois]

If there is no pressing need to go private then you don't need to decide now. You have decent state schools and your DC are happy. If they aren't happy later and need a different environment then you will have the luxury of making the private choice.

Until then, enjoy being mortgage free (lucky!) and having money to spend on clubs, lessons, holidays and not stressing about money.

[duchessandscruffy]

In fact, we will shortly be inheriting an amount of money that I guess would pay for a private education if we used it all for that and lived 'frugally' otherwise - op, I really would use the money for something else and enjoy the money on a nice standard of living, I think that is what e are going to do.