To wonder why people can't keep their houses in a basic state of cleanliness?

[HarderToKidnap]

Disabilities aside, why can't people keep their homes basically clean?

I work part time, have a messy dog, a demanding toddler, am extremely lazy but my house always looks OK. You couldn't eat your tea off the top of the door frames but the kitchen surfaces are clean, floors hoovered, sofas plumped and inviting, toilet free of poo crumbs. It's easy and doesn't take long. So WHY do I go round to so many of my friend's houses and see they live in complete pits? Gritty nasty sofas that are horrible to sit on, filthy kitchens, poo smears and crumbs all over toilet, minging hand towels, floors covered in bits. IT IS NOT HARD to do the basics. I've just done a house once over and it's taken 45 minutes.

I understand not wanting to spend all day dusting your books or whatever but when people are coming over why wouldn't you want them to feel clean and comfy in your house? I'm not talking about people that physically can't do it because of illness or disability, but the rest of you? WHY??!!!

I do most of the cleaning but that is because I work part time and dp works 12 hour days.

He does muck in at weekends and regularly clears up after tea.

It's not a woman's work. I'd say the lion's share should be done by whoever is home most and if both work then it should be shared.

I know it doesn't always work that way though.

It's all a matter of perspective really, isn't it.

I've been in houses where dog poo has been left in the middle of the floor, or excrement in the bath. Where curtains are routinely eschewed in favour of a moth-eaten grubby blanket. Where your feet stick to the floor. Where the smell of ammonia practically assaults you as you go through the door and where you wipe you feet before leaving.

Most people's dirty kitchen floors, laundry piles, dusty shelves and day or two's worth of washing up wouldn't even register on my radar. But that's because I've seen worse possibly. IME however, the people with the dreadful houses all have massive social problems and usually some sort of MH problem.

If someone I knew and liked invited me to their house and it was literally filthy, I'd be more inclined to ask if they were ok rather than think them lazy. We all have lazy days where the laundry doesn't get put away, or the vacuuming done, etc.

It's easier to keep clean/tidy than it is to get clean/tidy.

When my DH and DC have been out my house is basically clean and tidy, the bathroom takes six minutes, the kitchen maybe ten, upstairs hoovering another ten, downstairs hoovering two, sweeping two, mopping ten, dusting maybe five. That's 45mins for a 4-bed house.

But if the dishwasher is full of clean dishes and DH has been reading the newspaper all over the front room and DS1 was muddy when he got in from football and DS2 decided to empty one organised toy box into another and then on to the floor, or someone gives us something that we haven't worked out a permanent home for, you can add another hour and a half of sorting before the house stops looking like a bombsite.

So YANBU and YABU. Once you're in the swing of things, it isn't hard to maintain a basically clean and tidy house. But getting into the swing of things is by no means easy and nothing to do with laziness.

And yes, working pt with one toddler was the cleanest period my house has ever seen

Agree with Dahlen

Should also say that the opposite extreme - fixation on extreme neatness and order, concern re contamination, germs etc - can also indicate mental health problems

My house isn't as clean as I would like it to be. I have a cleaner who is very reliable but not as thorough as my last two. I feel like I should do a deep clean once every few weeks, but frankly I don't have the energy.

I work full time, as does my husband. My job is demanding and involves long hours. At the moment I am working 3 weekends out of 4 and most evenings. Cleaning behind the furniture is not top of my priority list for my few hours of free time per week. But I do notice it and it does bother me.

I have a reasonably easy to clean house and it does take me more than 45 min to do a once over.
That includes hoovering it all and going round with the mop (hard floors).

I think looking like a bombsite/toys everywhere is just par for the course in a family home during the day. I've just had five toddlers here and there a been an actual mess explosion. That's normal.

Litter/poo streaks/general really horrible minginess is not.

Horry is right, sometimes you hit a point where there's so much to do you don't do more on an average day than keep on top of it. We struggle with this, the deep-cleaning never gets done. I think I'm going to give in to an annual deep clean from professionals and then it will be much easier to keep on top of when you don't have a nagging worry about cobwebs in odd corners...

There's a big difference between a lived in and slightly messy house and a filthy house. I've been househunting lately, and I'm astonished at the number of times I've walked in to a house that's for sale and there's been dirty knickers on the floor, toilet seats left up with dirty smears in the bowl, dirty plates (several days worth) on the sink, and full ashtrays left around. Aside from the fact that you're trying to sell your property, there are some things which are just basic cleanliness issues. Put a laundry basket in your wardrobe for dirty laundry, use the toilet brush when you make a mess and do the washing up before the mice start to move in.

I'd love a dishwasher, would make a big difference bring able to put dirty dishes in it quickly.

Ooh yes, I think if I didn't have a dishwasher and a decent cordless Hoover my life would be very different...

I have been to quite a few mumsnetters houses but 2 of them were actually the filthiest houses I have ever ever set foot in.

Oh dear, my house is disgusting.

Yesterday I decided my ancient woolen kelim rug was looking pretty dingy, so I decided to hand wash it in the bath with soap powder.

First bathful of water came out black.

So, to only slightly lesser degrees, did the next four tubfuls.

I just kept on wrestling the massive, wet rug until the water began to run tea - coloured, then pale brown, then clear (ish). It now smells like a slowly drying sheep, but looks a lot brighter.

Our muck is a combination of dogs and exhaustion. I'm pretty much past caring. So, OP, you wouldn't like visiting my house, but then, I don't think i would have invited you, anyway.

have to agree with he posters who say there is a difference between mess and dirt.

At the minute I have washing folded and lying on my sofa, dishes to be put away, and cupboards so cluttered I can't bear to look.

However it isn't dirty- no disgusting toilet, rotten food lying around,mould, litter trays etc.

It's embarrassing for older DC when the house is like that. I know someone whose parents had quite a few cats and a house that was never cleaned- the DC never, ever invited friends back to the house because they were so ashamed of it.

I have just done a quick clean round plus the morning's dishes. The lav gets done as it needs by everyone so no poo streaks here. But I'll give it a once over before bed.

I used to really struggle to keep on top of things when my twins were young though.

Oh get knotted OP. That's all I have to say to you. And STUFF your idea of 'normal'.

If someone I knew and liked invited me to their house and it was literally filthy, I'd be more inclined to ask if they were ok rather than think them lazy.

Hear hear. I hope there are more people like Dahlen than people like you in the world, OP.

Oh, a dishwasher a dishwasher... I'd murder for one (not joking). But with a very small galley kitchen, there's no room for it. I honestly think a dishwasher makes a big difference as it simply means your dirty plates and cups aren't left out on the side.

In fact, I defy anyone to keep our miniscule, counter-less kitchen looking tidy.

Wow.
45 minutes?
It takes me that long to tidy away toys and clothes.
I'm not sure why you profess to be lazy but seem to excel at housework. Well done.

My kitchen is untidy but clean. It is also too small.

I'd like to think if a friend's house was really really bad, I'd ask if they wanted any help.

When the kids were small and I struggled it did become too much like a monumental task so I just was scratching the surface a lot of the time. It had got bad when I was pregnant due to me not being able to do so much and ex being a lazy git.

Yes Rooners, you've said things on that theme many times through this thread. You think an extremely filthy house is fine, and your loo is covered in poo and guests can fuck off if they don't like it, I get it. Good for you! As long as you and your family are happy with, then fine, I just don't happen to understand.

If you do want to tell off the judgey people, how about the ones saying that only cleaning for 45 minutes today means my house must be absolutely filthy... They're the ones I'd be frightened of inviting round!

It can be hard to keep on top of housework when you work and have children. I struggle with it, though I am also heavily pregnant.

But totally agree with op - a basic level of hygiene is easy to achieve...Clean loo, clean kitchen etc - it doesn't take long to maintain this level of cleanliness. A messy house is natural when you have young children.

I am often embarrassed by the state of my house then people come in and don't know what I am talking about. Then again my mum constantly makes comments about how she wishes she could help me more to keep on top of things and this makes me majorly paranoid!!

I would never invite someone in if there were poo smears/crumbs on my toilet!! That's awful!