To wonder why people can't keep their houses in a basic state of cleanliness?

[HarderToKidnap]

Disabilities aside, why can't people keep their homes basically clean?

I work part time, have a messy dog, a demanding toddler, am extremely lazy but my house always looks OK. You couldn't eat your tea off the top of the door frames but the kitchen surfaces are clean, floors hoovered, sofas plumped and inviting, toilet free of poo crumbs. It's easy and doesn't take long. So WHY do I go round to so many of my friend's houses and see they live in complete pits? Gritty nasty sofas that are horrible to sit on, filthy kitchens, poo smears and crumbs all over toilet, minging hand towels, floors covered in bits. IT IS NOT HARD to do the basics. I've just done a house once over and it's taken 45 minutes.

I understand not wanting to spend all day dusting your books or whatever but when people are coming over why wouldn't you want them to feel clean and comfy in your house? I'm not talking about people that physically can't do it because of illness or disability, but the rest of you? WHY??!!!

I'm not someone who enjoys cleaning but my house is reasonably tidy and the toilets are always clean. I Hoover downstairs daily because the carpets are ridiculously light coloured and show every little bit.

I never have friends round. 2 of my closest friends are clean freaks who admit to being judgey about cleanliness so they're never invited, I don't want them discussing the dust under the sofa or lack of pebbley shit and wicker hearts.

My home is fine for me and my family and only non-judgey folk are allowed in it.

Why is everyone assuming that people with untidy houses like it that way or don't care?

Our house is very untidy. I am mortified if anyone comes round. I hate people seeing it that way, so if I have advance warning I make a real effort to make it reasonable.

The rest of the time I just pray that no one comes round.

I'm not sure how I'm meant to tidy up when I have a baby on my lap who is currently asleep but when he is awake he refuses to be put down, because he is teething, I think - and even when I can put him down it isn't for more than about 10 minutes before I have to go to him again.

I am surrounded by things that need tidying and I can't do any of it. I can see it, I want to do it but I can't. No one LIKES living in a mess.

They haven't bothered cleaning up when you come round because they don't want you to visit. On account of you being a complete bitch.

Actually I'd not invite someone if they made a habit of weeing in our toilet.

I'm not sure why it is your business to care about the state of other people's facilities OP - they aren't there purely for your pleasure you know.

I would rather be in a generally messy house, than a clean one with a dog in it :o

Yeah...um....I kind of prioritise reading books over pretty much all housework in the evening. But really I am prioritising my mental health.

I do have three DC though and we do both work long hours and lots of weekends. The problem is, once you get behind in order to catch up you would have to do what someone like you does every day and all the stuff that you haven't done the other days. It's much easier to keep something clean when it starts off clean.

Hang on a minute, you have one DC? And do you work? Because if you have one DC and don't work then you have no idea. None.

I agree with you. My house is always clean and tidy, I grew up in a clean and tidy house, it is how I liked to live and therefore make it a priority but its not hard and doesn't require a lot of effort. I can not think of one person I know who lives in the state you describe.

Not read whole thread but has anyone come out with the old "I'd rather interact with my children than have a spotless house" chestnut yet?

OP I agree with you. I am also very lazy but doing enough basic housework to keep the place clean, tidy and hygienic isn't that time consuming.

I guess people with shit-hole houses are just sub-human scum who should be tortured with Cilit Bang and jet-washers.
Me I scrub my doorstep every morning.

I don't think it's been said, but because it's boring

Oh dear, this is the kind of thing I dread people thinking when they come to my house!!! Kitchen sides get cleaned everyday and toilet is always kept clean, but my floors need sweeping, carpets could do with a Hoover and I have a few piles of clean clothes that need putting away. Personally, I'd rather spend time playing with my DS than trying to keep everywhere tidy!!

Saying that, if I know I'm having a visitor I do make an effort to make sure it looks clean and tidy but when you have a toddler (and are heavily pregnant), its not at the top of the list I'm afraid! If you don't like a (clean but) messy house, don't visit :)

Actually, I do not in fact know where in the day I would fit housework in:

6.45am up and shower (often clean shower while I am in there, certainly do stuff like empty bin and clean loo)
7.00am get dressed and wake kids up and get them dressed
7.30am give kids breakfast
7.45am find book bags and pe kits and musical instruments
8.00am hang out washing, put guinea pigs out, tidy breakfast things, brush teeth, locate shoes, coats, put shoes on DS2, make packed lunches x 5
8.15am try to leave house
8.16am put shoes back on DS2
8.17am try to leave house
8.18am give DS1 his lunch box and bag again. Put shoes back on DS2.
8.19am discover bike tyres are flat. Pump up.
8.22am leave for school, putting DS2's shoes in his bag.
8.45am drop kids at school
9.00am drop DS2 at preschool/childminder
9.30am arrive at work and work like a mad woman with no breaks until
2.10pm leave work
2.40pm arrive home and change out of sweaty bike gear and put deodorant on (11 mile round trip each day so stink, frankly).
2.50pm collect DS2
3.15pm collect DD and DS1

And then it is after school clubs so might have another pick up at 4.15 and music practice and homework and cooking supper (on a really tight budget) and play dates and cleaning out the piggers and all household paperwork and some work phone calls and swimming lessons and rugby training until
6.00pm eat supper
6.30pm tidy up
6.45pm DS2 in the bath and then bed and stories
7.15pm DS1 in the bath and then bed and stories
7.45pm DD bed and usually some form of angst about her day
8.00pm clear up after supper, put a load of washing on and try to keep eyes open long enough to have a conversation with DH (if he is home yet, often isn't) while doing bits of work and possibly try to tidy up the odd toy but DS2 is a holy terror and makes the most horrendous mess unless closely supervised which I obviously don't have time to do.
10.00pm bed.

So my house is a shit tip. I do hate it but I am aware that I couldn't do any more.

I work from home and when I can be arsed to do it, I find the Fly Lady technique incredibly effective. I set my little kitchen pinger to go off every 15 minutes and I alternate between working and cleaning. Last week, for example, there were short periods when I wouldn't have been totally mortified if visitors with less exacting standards than you, OP had turned up unannounced. In practice, however, I frequently end up alternating between working and mumsnetting, or working and sloping off to the café over the road. I suppose this means that having a beautifully clean house just isn't that important to me.

Charming!
I spend a day tidying my house, and an hour - three a day on it and I would still panic if someone came round. But is never judge someone or make sweeping generalisations like you've just done. People have different priorities, it doesn't make them bad people

There are definitely ways to keep a good standard while minimising effort. Unfortunately, quite a lot require money.

People in new/renovated housing have to spend less time than people in older housing, because there are less places for dust to get trapped.

People who have new furniture will find it looks presentable even when dirty. Whereas if you have a knackered sofa covered by a throw, it will always look untidy unless you are constantly straightening the throw. Likewise, a scuffed coffee table requires daily polishing to look half-way decent, whereas a better-quality one or a new one almost seems to repel dirt.

A good-quality carpet/carefully chosen flooring will hide much more in the way of crumbs, dirt and dog hair than a cheaper, older or worn one.

When I first left home and lived with really crap furniture, I could spend 5x as long tidying/cleaning than I do now for exactly the same result. I didn't put that much effort in, but then I didn't need to as I was without DC and pets then.

My personal solutions to keeping things tidy are boxes and baskets that you can just throw random crap in. I also clean the bath/shower/sink every time I use it (just a rinse to remove hair/soap scum), which means a really deep clean isn't necessary that often. Clean the toilet every time you crap in it and it comes off easily and takes about 3 seconds, whereas if you leave it you might have to scrub for a few minutes. A pack of baby-wipes is an ideal alternative to dusting. Quick wipe down along a shelf as your passing and job done. Staying on top of things massively reduces the time you have to spend on housework.

Hmmm...

Well, I hAve 4dds 6 and under and frankly until the youngest is 18 months I just cannot get it together to have my house as clean as I would like. Dd4 is now 20 months and I generally have my home in a clean state, or at least. 20 mins away from being clean if there are no kids in the house. I think it is as good as it is going to get until the oldest is six or so.

I am a sahm, dh works awful hours. I have at least three school runs a day, some times four, too two different locations. It doesn't really leave much time to clean, launder, shop etc.

I kinda think I deserve some rest/me time also, but frankly, I spend most of my time cleaning.

So I think you are vv unreasonable...

Mainly because this time next year I may have 1 child instead of 2. I'd rather spend every spare second playing with them than vacuuming.

You don't like the state of my house? Fine. Don't come round, then.

My schedule today will be:

5:50 am up and shower (clean shower, empty bin and clean loo)
6.30am downstairs, empty dishwasher, prepare breakfast
7.00am wake kids and give kids breakfast
7.45am find book bags and pe kits , clear breakfast table
8.00am Leave house, drop kids to school, go to work
1.00pm leave work
1:15 pm arrive home, put laundry in dryer, have a drink and lunch (and internet surf)
1:30 cook dinner and do dishes, wipe surfaces
1:45 quick hoover
2:00 Online shop for week, check emails, do any online admin
2:35 about to pick up worst of bits in kids rooms
2:40 Leave to get kids, go to ballet
5:30 Arrive home, finish dinner and serve
6:00 Dinner with kids - do spelling words
6:30 Kids in bath - read stories to them
7:00 First child in bed - school reader, number bonds, stories
7:30 Second child in bed - school reader, number bonds, stories
8:00 Downstairs - finish dinner dishes, wipe table
8:30 Prepare for work tomorrow
9:00 Put away clean laundry, put out uniforms
9:15 Find football gear and snacks for tomorrow
9:30 Put out own clothes for tomorrow, check book bags, water bottles, etc
9:45 Laundry on, quick polish of shoes
9:50 Read in bed
10:00 Lights out...

My house is not immaculate on this regime. But we are all happy, healthy, well-fed and the key surfaces are germ-free. I cannot do more, maybe others could, but this is what I can manage and I hope my friends accept it.

It is true if my house were less cluttered it would be easier to keep in shape - we moved recently and finding the time to find permanent storage solutions to help this is not that easy!

Trazzle, I think the OP intended to cause bad feeling. I cannot see any other point to the thread.

Please don't let it get to you. xx

I like a clean and tidy house, always have always will.

I had a clean and tidy house when we had no children, when we had 1, now we have 2, when I worked, when I was a SAHM, and now I am disabled. I can't do the floors or bend to do the baths but I can do the dusting and surfaces.

I don't have things lying on the floor, can't stand dirty plates in the kitchen and I do plump my cushions up every night before I go to bed.

I couldn't give a monkeys if other people don't have a tidy house, it isn't my business.

YABU.