To wonder why people can't keep their houses in a basic state of cleanliness?

[HarderToKidnap]

Disabilities aside, why can't people keep their homes basically clean?

I work part time, have a messy dog, a demanding toddler, am extremely lazy but my house always looks OK. You couldn't eat your tea off the top of the door frames but the kitchen surfaces are clean, floors hoovered, sofas plumped and inviting, toilet free of poo crumbs. It's easy and doesn't take long. So WHY do I go round to so many of my friend's houses and see they live in complete pits? Gritty nasty sofas that are horrible to sit on, filthy kitchens, poo smears and crumbs all over toilet, minging hand towels, floors covered in bits. IT IS NOT HARD to do the basics. I've just done a house once over and it's taken 45 minutes.

I understand not wanting to spend all day dusting your books or whatever but when people are coming over why wouldn't you want them to feel clean and comfy in your house? I'm not talking about people that physically can't do it because of illness or disability, but the rest of you? WHY??!!!

I'm glad you can see that Youthecat, I was fed up at your post involving me, I dont enjoy being laughed at.

For what it's worth I don't reckon anyone is going to get anywhere by telling the OP why their houses might not be perfect, or 'good enough' for her.

She's just a queen bee looking for people to suck up to her and Oh, they are. In droves. People are also apologising to her (and the world) for their personal cleanliness.

It reads as an interesting social experiment if nothing else.

It does all have a certain Wendyish quality...

Hmmmm. My house isn't that bad but I have a friend who once made rather judgmental comments about it - I might add she doesn't work and neither does her husband so they have plenty of time to clean to OCD standards. I rarely invite her back here now! My house is super clean at the minute but honestly I prefer friends to be folk I can invite round and feel comfortable no matter what. I DO tend to tidy up for people coming round but if they pop round wanting a chat I don't want to feel like they are sitting in judgement,

You only work part time you only have one kid.

PS: I am boasting about the super-clean bit because I can't usually say that most of the time I can't be arsed.

Are you sure people aren't thinking the same about your home OP? Maybe you aren't noticing the grime other people see when they visit you?

My house is a bit of a mess right now which is down to a combination of working full-time and working shifts/single parent to 3 year old/being lazy but mainly because my friends keep coming round at the weekends to drink vino and chat

They don't seem to be bothered by the mess tbh or they wouldn't want to stay so bloody long!!

Rooners, I apologise for my flippancy. Seriously.

member Seems quite likely doesn't it?

It doesn't even need anything as drastic as me being ill for the house to fall into a state! I had a busy weekend and the result is my house is a tip!

That's really good of you YTC - thanks.

Three young children here in a 4 bed home, if you visit me in a Friday around 2 pm you'd think I had a cleaner as I do the whole house when the youngest two nap.

It takes me two hours, tidy dust and vacuum bedrooms 20 mins, brush and mop kitchen and utility 15 mins, deep clean both bathrooms 30 mins, tidy round and vacuum living and play room 15 mins.

Generally though I do keep on top of things, kids tidy play room before bed and we only eat in the kitchen, I tidy round fill the dishwasher after every meal and switch it on at night, do a load of washing every day.

Less than 30 minutes each day is spent on housework except Fridays and I don't answer the door on a Thursday

I do have friends with houses like you describe, I usually clean them when I go over they don't seem to mind they know it's just how I am and I don't judge as that's just how they do things.

Oh quite possible Toffee. I am NOT super clean by any stretch. We only moved in here last week and there are some grimy nets from the last resident and I noticed that the bits between the balustrades on the bannister were a bit ming yesterday. Far be it from me to judge anyone's dusty house. But filth of the type where your DCs are embarrassed to have friends round? Just don't get it.

How does it take 34 mins to clean a kitchen ??

Easily. 4 mins to unload and load dishwasher . 8 people in the house means ours runs at least 3 times daily and is always full . Put various ingredients from the surfaces back into the pantry , clear the kitchen table of detritus dumped by 6 kids coming back from school , have shouting match re same , 8 minutes .

Wipe down surfaces for the 3rd time in the day, and polish (sounds a faff adding the polish but its only a spray and means crap doesn't stick to the granite as easily ) 2 minutes .

Wipe cooker and splashback , sweep random crap from under cooker, 1 minute . Wash up the roasting tray that's been soaking in washing soda and additional random accumulation of cups that there wasn't room for in the dishwasher , rinse and clean sink , draining board and washing up area , 5 mins . Ok , I may have been watching Vera at the same time and digressed .

Scrub kitchen table , 2 mins . Attempt to remove sleeping greyhounds from kitchen sofa 5 mins . Unsuccessful , but rectified using bribery of pieces of ham. Take dogs duvet outside , shake , Hoover sofa and replace duvet and hounds , 5 mins .

Sweep floor properly , meaning removal of dining chairs into hallway , and into all the corners and under the dresser , 6 mins including putting it all back .

Contemplate the kettle . Contemplate the rest of the house and open gin bottle instead , nanoseconds .

'Just don't get it.'

and it looks like you never will.

Sometimes I think we're getting somewhere with public understanding of mental health in this country and other times I despair.

OP I haven't read all the messages but I'm sure you've had your fair share of 'aren't you judgey' comments and then the usual MN 'I'm more slatternly than you' comments about being proud and slobby! I can just imagine.

TBH I ask myself the same thing. I work FT so does DP and we have a 4 bed house. But I LOVE my house and also really love cleaning (as much as possible) and making the house look nice. It's taken so long to get from renting/sharing to owning my own place, I really covet it (and secretly want it to look like an Elle Interiors spread which is never going to be happen!)

I always think everyone is like me but some people (a) hate cleaning (b) aren't that interested in keeping their house/environment looking a particular way or (c) are used to living like this - it may be completely normal, they may have lived like this their whole life.

YABU. You work part time OP you have no idea how little time couples who both work 50-60 hours a week have. With kids especially. I don't even have 5 mins to sit down some evenings. There have been crumbs of food on kitchen floor for days. The loo is cleaned at the weekend or if guests are coming. There are many weeknights when it is not pristine. And you know what? There are more important things to be proud of.

I made it clear in my OP I wasn't talking about anyone with an illness or disability that precluded them from cleaning.

What about people really struggling to support their families, working every hour under the sun? Retraining and with more than one kid?

Do they get a mention in your 'disclaimer' op?

I don't work at all and I hardly get the chance to clean anything! I'm constantly entertaining visitors or my children

No one has ever complained (well not to my face anyways) about the state of my house and they are all quite happy to visit again.

I normally have pots in the sink, piles of clean washing waiting to be put away, mount washmore growing in my laundry basket, toys everywhere, floors need mopping etc. all the necessary areas (kitchen,bathroom etc) are clean and thats the main thing I think. And tbh I could give a monkeys whether people thought my house was a mess or not, dont like it, don't visit.

I also don't care what other people's houses are like. I pay more attention to the person whose house I am visiting than whether they have blitzed there house in the last week or not

Life's too short to worry about other people's cleaning habits

Can i just add that I have a friend like this and her house is a bomb site. I used to go over with my DD when she was a baby (she had a DD the same age) and I would get the fear. She had bags of dirty nappies sitting around, rolled up nappies on the floor, her bathroom looked like it had never been cleaned, dog hair everywhere, all her clothes on her bedroom floor and the sheets on her bed looked about 3000 years old and smeared with grease. Her kitchen was loaded with old dirty dishes and garbage.

It was bizarre and she was completely nonplussed about it - twas the normal way her and her DH lived. No idea why... but now I understand why she shows up to work in dirty clothes covered in dog hair! scary!

If I'm expecting a visitor the least I do is get the skids off the loo bowl, sweep the (usually huge amount of) dog hair off the floors and make sure the place doesn't smell minging. I can live in squalor a less than show-home house, but I don't want to look like I'm Waynetta Slob to anyone else.

*couldnt give a monkeys