to be upset that no-one has really cared about my youngest starting school?

[CinnamonAddict]

My 4 yo has started school last week. All our relatives (except one) live abroad, where a huge fuss is being made of school starters (party for relatives, special cake etc).

We didn't hear from anyone, both grandmas, uncles, aunt, no one called or send a card, nothing.

At first I thought ok, they may have send a card but it's not here yet, but it's a week now so I can assume they have either forgotten (in the 3 weeks since we have seen them during the holidays) or don't care.

AIBU to feel quite sad about that?

I lived in Germany when I started school and it is an unbelievably big deal there so I get you OP.

I wonder has MrTumbles hit the nail on the head though... Maybe they don't see it as properly starting school because of the age and will make a fuss when she's 6? Insensitive if so but slightly understandable.

And for all the scrooges, I always make a fuss of my school starters. Dp has always been home for the day and we drop off and collect together, take pictures and make them feel special. It's a huge life event and deserves to be recognised.

My mother ran 3 times that day to see how ds2 got on and my family made a fuss of him, I would have been upset if it had gone unnoticed just because he's the youngest.

It is disappointed if it had been expected.

Did your other DC start school in this country? Did they have a fuss made of them by overseas relatives?

I made ds cone but we were in Germany in August so bought one. I was shocked at how enormous some of them were - you could a vw gold in some of them!!

Vw golf... Not sure if vw do solid gold cars yet

Yes, my other 2 started here as well, and fuss has been made of them. It's a while ago, they are 12 and 14 now, but we've always made fuss of the nephews and nieces in Germany when they started, the last one last year.

yanbu op. I think it's a shame, and those present cone things look cute. FWIW my dh has taken the day off for each dc starting school and I know other families that have done the same.

they start so much older over there, though, right? So it doesn't feel like the right age, I think.

But op's older kids weren't forgotten and I assume they started school at four too

I certainly celebrated.. with cartwheels down the path after dropping them off.

If this is what you're used to then you're entitled to feel a bit sad.. have you sent them some photos anyway?

I can get why you're a bit sad. It's a big thing where you're from and it would have been nice if your relatives had got in touch. I bet that's the most disappointing bit.

Is a kid starting school really that much of a big deal?

YANBU - it's unfair to treat the younger sibling differently to the older ones about a tradition that is obviously important to your family.

Starting school gift bags, children parading through the streets...
Dear God

YANBU, I'm sorry OP.

Sounds like a lovely tradition to me. DS starting school was a big deal for me.

I expect other countries 'dear God' at some of our customs too.

I would not expect cards or a massive fuss but I would expect a text asking how it went. My parents did but none of DHs family bothered but it really doesn't bother me as although we're close we don't see them every week or anything.

Its not a huge thing to anyone other than our very immediate family as it is a pretty run of the mill event but we are very close to my family so I would be a bit disappointed if my parents didn't ask how it went.

YANBU. My parents were very concerned when my children started school. They rang and emailed to ask wish them good luck and ask how it went.

YANBU to expect some interest from close relatives.

usual, oh yes but not openly

The thing that your DD will remember is that you and your DH were there. That is what matters to a child and it sounds like you made a fuss and gave her a lovely day.

That's a little unfair flogging

In Germany Xmas and birthdays and Easter are much more understated then they are here. It isn't about the presents - the cone normally contains things you need for school (pencil case etc) and maybe a few treats. It isn't about spoiling the child. It's about making the child feel that starting school is special.

We both went to work as usual when our kids started school (we both worked part time) but starting school wasn't a big transition from their nursery as it was in the same building as their nursery just a different entrance as many Scottish schools have attached nurseries (state ran from 3-5) and the first ?half term of proper school is half days only.
I can't remember if my parents rang and asked how it went, they probably did but definitely no special cards.

Not read all the replies but have read a lot. What people did here on the first day of school or how they celebrate/do the first day of school for their children is irrelevant! Where has the OP said we should all embrace this custom from another culture? So what if we wouldn't like it. It is hurtful that this 'event' went by without even comment by her relatives.

P.S It seems a really lovely tradition to me.