To think that senior officers in the armed forces should use state schools for their DCs

[soul2000]

I think it is wrong that many senior officers have a perk, that in effect is worth 40-50k pa in benefit in kind. There are state boarding schools, grammar schools and all types of state schools available.

Why should public sector employees, have this ludicrous benefit when there are state boarding schools, and if there was more demand more state schools could open boarding houses anyway.

I think this is a throwback to the 19th century, it is totally wrong in todays world. Today schools are having to make massive cut backs in all kind of expenditure, yet some officers DDS/DS are getting lessons in how to stage the perfect dinner party. This paid for by the struggling taxpayer who is forced to educate their DCs by comprehensive..

Well goodness me froken, you're right!

Of course I should hand my notice in immediately, give up my pension etc and essentially lay waste to the career I have built over 18 years, because I am not worthy to be a mother.

What a load of shit. Newsflash - women work in the forces too!

We aren't married and I own our house so we don't even get get you home pay :)

Soul, I think you either have an ulterior motive for this or a massive chip on your shoulder. In either case do your homework first please.

And OH currently posted 600 miles away.

Thank you Going. It seems i might have taken TIP word for the amount of benefit paid SORRY.

All i asked was that a discussion was created whether state funded services should where possible use state funded services.

This is not an attack on anyone from the armed forces i have had members of family in the lower ranks of the armed forces so i know how difficult and poorly paid it is.

This is a topic that most taxpayers, if they knew about it would have kittens about. "How Unfair" it is that they have to send their DC to a shitty Comp.

Going. I have no problem with most private schools, its just schools like DOWNE that are even by PUBLIC SCHOOL standards in a "PARALLEL" Universe. Beneden for instance is quite active in promoting charity and scholorships within its local community.

My nieces and nephews have benefitted from this. Their dad has served in Kosovo, Afghanistan, Iraq and Bosnia amongst other salubrious destinations. Would you really deny them the educational stability? He was moved bases more times than I can count and their mother moved with him to try and keeps lame semblance of home life together.

It's not a perk I would begrudge any child of our armed forces.

In my experience comparatively few families take up this 'perk' anyway. My DS is currently too young for school, but if I had to make a choice between giving him the best education available, or keeping my family together at any cost I would really struggle to make a decision, and I think my heart would break either way.
Luckily for us my DH is in a 'stable' posting, been here 4 years and only likely to move if he went for a different job/promotion. Although as anyone with links to the armed forces will know this 'stability' can be revoked at any time.
It's also why so many partners of serving soldiers are SAHPs, to provide some sort continuity in a child's life, my DS is 14 months, my DH has only spent about 6 months of that with us as a family. What about the fact that we pay less than market value for our (often inadequate) house and don't pay the full council tax rates either!
If someone is misusing the system for personal gain, then it is up to you to report them through the appropriate channels.
Postings abroad generally only last 2-3 years at a time, so is it right to uproot a child at what is a potentially crucial time for their education, exams etc.
Could you honestly make that decision and consider it an easy choice?

Why single out Downe?

I don't think mot would have kittens.

I think most know it's a stressful underpaid job and that the children involved need supporting.

Doesn't this thread actually show that most taxpayers (once again though, serving members of the forces are actually taxpayers too) wouldn't "have kittens" about this issue?? This is quite a good straw poll and so far there appears to be only you and two others that object to it.

Gossip I am glad you said that about the arguements. DH goes on Wednesday, We can barely stand to look at each other. We are fine for a few days when he gets back, then we both wish he'd go back where he has just come from.

It is so easy to sit on the side lines and look in saying you'd do X,Y&Z when you have no experience of something. We have tried everything. We had our own house, DH was posted I stayed at home and looked after the kids and worked, he came home at weekends we nearly ended up divorced.

The kids and I uprooted to where he was, he was away all the time. The kids hardly ever saw their dad. It was difficult. We got through it. I had a job I loved. We got posted.

We had a more secure posting. My health deteriorated, I had an operation that went wrong. We were very happy, plodding along just fine, DH promoted and opted just down the road. Plodding along nicely. The rug is pulled right from under us when the government cuts hit us, and hundreds of others, massively practically overnight.

DH was released from trade and told we would stay where he was until the end of his career. Then because of the savage redundancies they realised they don't actually have enough of his trade and rank so change of plan again. Fortunately, he got a posting 45 miles away so gets up at 5:15, leaves the house at 6:10 and gets home at around 7:00.

You can not plan for anything in the Forces. That is why people shouldn't be jealous of these perceived little perks. On the 23rd of December you can be told you are working Christmas, no extra money will go in your account. If they need a plane to fly at 7:00 on a Monday and it is not ready, 12 hour split shifts are arranged over the weekend at no notice, again for no extra pay.

People who no experience of it, have no idea.

rockateer I wondered that too. Downe and Benenden IMO are very similiar.

^ What she said ^^

yes, I thought that too - what has Downe done to incur such wrath? It's a smart, well-regarded, girls' independent boarding school.

littlemisswise I mean.

This Christmas I will be alone after opting out of holiday with my family thinking OH would be home when now he won't be and it's too late to change my plans.

I'm on my own at Christmas too, Gossip and for the kids birthdays.

kim147 I am wondering whether you went to the same school as me.Did the girls boarding house begin with J?

We have 6 kids he rarely make all their birthdays or mine although we spent his together for the second time in 5 yrs this yr :D

I particularly like the separations littlemisswise and Gossipmonster

One of 7 and a half months. Without seeing him, at all. We didn't even speak for 5 and a half months at one point.

But it's OK, it's not like he was in a war zone or anything and every single knock at the door made my heart jump into my mouth. Oh, wait a minute.

Still, it's all made better by 'free schooling'.

Ok The first thing DOWNE says on its website is " WE EDUCATE GIRLS WITHOUT ANY COST TO THE TAXPAYER" What utter nonsense as if the school is doing a charitable thing for the country.

Totally offensive wording. schools like Wycombe Abbey/CLC on their website are showing how they contribute to the local community.

Perhaps insted of having the prue leith course, pupils from Downe House could be sent for 5 days, to work at a homeless shelter for young teenagers in London/Glasgow. Now that would be a fantastic course.

Oh yesMrsBW the separations are the best part :)

I never get to speak to my OH when he's on patrol. If we all died he wouldn't know till he got home.

The perks of the option of the schooling - which we don't take - makes it all worth it .

It makes me feel so much better when I am having a rant and the "you knew what you were getting your self into when you got married" line gets reeled out!

littlemiss

Oh yeah - always good to tick that one off the bingo card

You knew what you got into
You'll soon see him (generally said by someone that bitches when they don't see their OH for 24 hours...)
Has he ever killed anyone?
Do you trust him not to shag around?
Why don't you just move with him?

Many, many more.

Oh yes littlemisswise because obvs you can choose who you fall in love with