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Original poster

14 wks pregnant and going for a job interview

210 replies

aichi · 15/09/2013 12:05

I'm 14 wks pregnant and I've been looking for a job for awhile.
I didnt know I was pregnant when I applied for the job - back in June. (They took ages to shortlist for the interview!)

Its the job that I'd like to do and its part time which would suit me. They're looking for a few different posts, permanent and temporary positions. Ideally I would like a permanent post so I can come back to the post after I have the baby.

Am I being unreasonable to go for a job interview at this stage of my pregnancy? I started to show my bump (well for me it looks big already...my second baby) and worried how to cover my bump at the interview...
I also feel sad to feel that I have to hide my bump when I should be happy with my pregnancy..

OP posts:
HangingGardenofBabbysBum · 15/09/2013 18:20

Course she never returned to.

It nearly finished us, so yes, bit harsh but that's how I feel and the OP did ask.

hettienne · 15/09/2013 18:21

If one employee leaving almost finished you, it sounds like your business is very precarious. How do you deal with people finding better jobs?

marzipanned · 15/09/2013 18:22

hettienne tbh in any of these situations I'd still be upfront with my employer. This actually happened to me last year - I took a job in March knowing that I'd have to leave in October. I was completely honest with my employer from day one (in fact I told her before I even went for interview) and in the end when October came she worked with me to ensure that I could keep the job albeit on a PT basis.

OwlinaTree · 15/09/2013 18:23

This is not black and white, I've never claimed that.
It can't be the easiest time trying to get a new job while pg, especially if you are currently unemployed.

But I believe honesty is important, and know how people tend to react to this situation, as it's happened at our place.

I'm conflicted, and glad I'm not in this position. Good luck op, you will make the right decision as you have all the information.

marzipanned · 15/09/2013 18:25

Hanging it's a horrible predicament for an employer, I just didn't feel it was fair taking it out on the OP. But your response and this kind of behaviour does fuel discrimination against women.

At a previous job I had a woman had been there for one year before going on mat leave. She came back from that mat leave pregnant. Worked another 8 months. Decided at the end of her second mat (annual bonus paid right at the end) to quit and be a SAHM.

Yes, it's true that a lot of employers don't have much loyalty either and perhaps everyone should be looking out for number one, but these kinds of examples leave a really bad taste in everyone's mouth.

marzipanned · 15/09/2013 18:26

Sorry, hanging, I mean your response is indicative of how this kind of behaviour fuels discrimination.

SilverApples · 15/09/2013 18:37

I think Hanging made an important contribution, it gives another side of the argument. Many small business are precarious, especially if you have a group who have been selected for specific talents and skills and every member is necessary for the whole to function.
If you are doing a minimum wage, unskilled job, then a replacement is often easy to find.
OP hasn't said what sort of job it is, for example, could someone else step in easily? My 18 year old for example?

HangingGardenofBabbysBum · 15/09/2013 19:00

We aren't precarious but we are a small specialist family business and we invested heavily in her, and it was money we wrote off that we could ill afford to.

I think she should be honest. It's equally that kind of duplicitous behaviour that fuels the need to discriminate. I HATE that my enthusiasm at DH new hire past week was tempered by wondering if we would be used like that again.

For the record, our FD has had three DC in the decade she has been with us.

teatimesthree · 15/09/2013 19:47

Oh come on, Hanging:

"It's equally that kind of duplicitous behaviour that fuels the need to discriminate."

It is not duplicitous - an applicant for a job has no obligation to say that she is pg. And there is no "need to discriminate". If you want to employ people, then you have to take this sort of thing into account, just like sick pay and so on.

Equally, marzipanned's example: "At a previous job I had a woman had been there for one year before going on mat leave. She came back from that mat leave pregnant. Worked another 8 months. Decided at the end of her second mat (annual bonus paid right at the end) to quit and be a SAHM."

What exactly should this woman have done? What did she do wrong? Surely she had the right to quit her job and become a SAHM?

Really important point in all this: about 40% of pregnancies are unplanned. Let's say marzipanned's colleague's second pregnancy was unplanned (as lots of 'quick' second pregnancies are) - what should she have done - had an abortion?

If we want woman to have both the right to choose and the right to be independent financially then this sort of legislation is essential.

Am going to hide this thread now, as I don't think we are really getting anywhere.

marzipanned · 15/09/2013 20:08

tea I guess you won't see this response if you hide it, but just in case anyone else cares she was very open about the fact that (a) the second pregnancy was planned and (b) she intended to be a SAHM as soon as her second child was born.

I guess being that open about it isn't duplicitous, but it is highly unfair on colleagues.

BoneyBackJefferson · 15/09/2013 20:20

I always find this threads interesting mainly due to finishing a job and having to train up my replacement, said replacement turned up heavily pregnant and actually went on ML before I left, which left the company with no permanent replacement and me trying to fit 6 weeks training in to 2 weeks.

The situation became even more interesting when she came back and demanded to go PT, the company couldn't give her it so she left and they had to train up a third person.

This sort of issue is not always so clear cut.

sameoldIggi · 15/09/2013 20:22

There is never an acceptable " need to discriminate".
What would we have women do? Resign their jobs when they marry, the way we used to have to do? Or when we have a first child? Or ask employers when it would be ok to ttc? Or should I tell my employer when I start to ttc, even though it might take me years to be successful? It is a whole area of difficulty, and one which men do not face And this is why we have anti-discrimination laws.

StuntGirl · 15/09/2013 20:33

Women sometimes get pregnant.

This affects all sorts of things.

Work is one of them.

We as a society deal with that, because pregnancy is a part of life and society.

Original poster
aichi · 15/09/2013 20:46

Hi all, thank you for your responses. I really appreicate your thoughts on this. I was actually worried to put this up as I was scared to hear things that I didn't want to hear...

Anyway my situation is this. The job is for a local authority, museum related specialised work. I'm currently unemployed, I've had quite a few job interviews but with no luck. The last job I had was a year ago and it was a freelance work. Having worked both a freelance and company based works in the past I really want a permanent work. I'm sure people who's worked as a freelance will understand how I feel.

I'm not wanting this job for the sake of maternity leave. The reason I want this job is because its something I know I'll be good at and I've been looking for this kind of work for a year. In fact I don't mind if they don't give me maternity leave. But I intend to take at a year off.

Pregnancy wise, my dh and I wanted a second baby for awhile, especially after I had a miscarriage last year.

So now I'm pregnant and I'm really excited(yet nervous) and also this job opportunity came and I'd like to do my best at the interview but I feel bad that I won't be able to stay long and that they'd be annoyed when they find out I'm pregnant....

I intend to tell them if they offer me the job but not at the interview stage. I'll probably go through HR to inform.

I just wanted to let you know that I'm not using this opportunity for the maternity leave but I really wanted a job for a while and it's just all came at the wrong time for me....

OP posts:
OwlinaTree · 15/09/2013 20:48

Good luck, sounds like a great opportunity. And good luck with the baby too.

Chunderella · 15/09/2013 20:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Chunderella · 15/09/2013 20:53

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

StuntGirl · 15/09/2013 21:07

Good luck aichi, I hope it goes well.

marzipanned · 15/09/2013 21:17

aichi I didn't get the impression from your OP that you wanted the job for ML, and it does sound like a great opportunity for you. I think you're making the right call being upfront with them and I do wish you well, though I think it might also be wise to prepare yourself for not necessarily getting the best response from future colleagues.

BoneyBackJefferson · 15/09/2013 21:19

Good luck with whatever you decide OP.

Chunderella
What a nasty post.

bbcessex · 15/09/2013 21:20

I think it depends on how strong your nerve is and how much you want/need the job. Being dishonest/withholding info would be hard for me to do, but also I think if you tell them at your first interview, you are unlikely to make the short list (unless you were headhunted / it's an extremely specialist post etc.).

If I really needed the job and/or my family finances depended on it, then I would do it. If I didn't, then I would be more anxious about withholding info.

From my perspective, If I interviewed someone who in essence, told me they were planning on working for a few months whilst possibly having time off for appointments then taking up to a whole year off, I would be extremely unlikely to think they were the best candidate. Even if they were extremely qualified and with a suitable skill set, they aren't going to be available, which is really what the main part of a job is...

This is ENTIRELY different to someone who is already employed and established becoming pregnant. I would say the majority of people are employed with a firm for some time, and 'earn' the support / package that maternity rights bring.. (disclaimer - obviously not all, but most friends that I know have been with their employers a while before getting pg).

bbcessex · 15/09/2013 21:30

hanginggarden - I have also employed someone who unknown to me was pregnant before she joined. It has a huge impact on a small business chunderalla - very different to working for a larger .organisation where to a degree, extra work / costs can be 'absorbed'

Having to keep someone's job open for them, cover appointments and try and employ temporary maternity cover for specialist roles is no laughing matter, I can tell you.. it's nothing to do with being sexist or discriminatory...

EATmum · 15/09/2013 21:30

So now the law has changed, and men (or the non-pregnant partner) can take an equal share of the maternity leave, do you think that dads-to-be are similarly conflicted when they look for new jobs? And do you think that employers think about that "risk" when they appoint a man of an age where a young family is likely? Nope.

maddening · 15/09/2013 21:37

just on the point of paternity leave - fathers can now share ML with the mother - if more men took this then you might see the playing field leveled out - but due to the patriarchal society we live in with males wages still higher than for women it would mean a larger drop in wages that most families couldn't afford if the father took this leave so I don't see that happening.

maddening · 15/09/2013 21:38

sorry should have read to bottom