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Original poster

14 wks pregnant and going for a job interview

210 replies

aichi · 15/09/2013 12:05

I'm 14 wks pregnant and I've been looking for a job for awhile.
I didnt know I was pregnant when I applied for the job - back in June. (They took ages to shortlist for the interview!)

Its the job that I'd like to do and its part time which would suit me. They're looking for a few different posts, permanent and temporary positions. Ideally I would like a permanent post so I can come back to the post after I have the baby.

Am I being unreasonable to go for a job interview at this stage of my pregnancy? I started to show my bump (well for me it looks big already...my second baby) and worried how to cover my bump at the interview...
I also feel sad to feel that I have to hide my bump when I should be happy with my pregnancy..

OP posts:
Alisvolatpropiis · 15/09/2013 16:36

I wouldn't mention pregnancy in the interview. I'd mention it when they offered the job. Much like if I had a hidden disability I wouldn't mention it in the interview.

At that point they've already decided you're the best candidate for the job. A decent company wants the best candidate regardless of the candidate causing them moderate inconvenience in the short term. A shit company may well won't but would you want to work for them anyway?

OwlinaTree · 15/09/2013 16:37

teatimesthree it's not a case of sex discrimination. If you are in a job already you have every right to equal treatment - agreed. If you are a woman of child bearing age you should not be questioned as to your marital status and or family status during interview - agreed.

Should you withhold any information during interview which is going to prevent you doing your job? Long term illness, pregnancy, medical conditions? It's a bit of a tricky one really isn't it? I think you would be misrepresenting yourself. I don't think that's a wilful misunderstanding of sex discrimination, I think it's a real understanding of work places and getting on with your colleagues. I'm not saying it's ideal, but it is the reality.

SilverApples · 15/09/2013 16:37

It's sort of a similar dilemma to that mentioned a few months ago, where students were being offered good, permanent jobs and parents were asking about the ethics of them accepting when they were not planning on staying more than a few months.
As I was the breadwinner for a decade, including through both of my pregnancies, of course I think that women are entitled to equal employment opportunities, regardless of family circumstances.
I do think that if the OP gets the job and then declares her pregnancy and future absence for months, the environment on her return may not be happy, sympathetic or willing to adapt to her requirements. They may well look for subtle ways to ensure she resigns.
Or they could be delighted, supportive and willing to wait if she's the perfect person.

OwlinaTree · 15/09/2013 16:40

hettiene and I think therein lies the difficulty.

It is a tricky situation, and I guess everyone has to make their own choices.

teatimesthree · 15/09/2013 16:42

Owlina - it is a case of sex discrimination because pregnancy and maternity leave affect women and not men. The other cases you mention (e.g. serious illness) affect men and women equally. That is why there is specific legislation to say that pregnant women cannot be discriminated against (although a quick scan of the Employment board shows that sadly this is far from the case).

teatimesthree · 15/09/2013 16:43

My question to those who say it is only fair to the employer to disclose the pregnancy:

"What do you think a single parent or female breadwinner who finds herself pregnant and between jobs should do? Take herself off the job market until her baby is born? Or do you not think that women of child bearing age should be financially independent?"

Alisvolatpropiis · 15/09/2013 16:47

tea

No of course a women in that situation shouldn't take herself off the job market. As I said in a previous post, I wouldn't tell them about a pregnancy at interview stage (unless glaringly obvious and therefore unavoidable).

If they offered the job I would tell them though. Not least because if they rescind the offer then it's obviously discrimination. Whereas telling them at interview leaves you with no proof should they offer to someone else.

OwlinaTree · 15/09/2013 16:51

There are job agencies for temporary jobs, it's always an option. I just think it is dishonest to apply for a permanent job knowing you are not going to be around after a few months without disclosing a long term plan of im actually pg so will need time off but this is the job for me because...

I take your point about the equality with illness, but not pg as it only effects women. I don't know a way round this as that is always the case. Men can take maternity leave instead now can't they?

OwlinaTree · 15/09/2013 16:52

Maybe Alvis has a good balance, tell then with the offer rather than at interview.

StuntGirl · 15/09/2013 16:53

I think you need to be honest in this world. I would not be impressed if someone started a permanent position at work when actually their intention was to be leaving in a few months.

I think people should do what is best for their circumstances. Employers put themselves first, so should employees.

I have a (male) friend who has recently applied for a bunch of jobs. He has been offered one which starts in two weeks. He will find out about his preferred job in a month. To try and buy some time he told the place that offered him the role a white lie that he's currently on a temporary contact for a month, could they wait another two weeks? They told him they could not and he either joins them now or can't have the job.

He has been roundly advised by all his friends to take the job offered, and leave for the better job should he be offered that too. I doubt anyone is going to get on his case about putting the employers first and doing what's best for them - it's just expected that he should do what's best for him.

Women should do the same.

StuntGirl · 15/09/2013 16:55

Oh, and I hate to be the harbinger of doom here, but you're 14 weeks. A lot can happen to the foetus in the next few months. Apply for the job. Don't intentionally put yourself in a position where you may end up with no pregnancy/child and no job either.

Alisvolatpropiis · 15/09/2013 16:55

That's not really the same thing stuntgirl.

I'd advise any person in the same position as your friend to do as he has been advised.

Thing is the OP actually wants this job she is being interviewed for. Not another one she might get a bit later.

OwlinaTree · 15/09/2013 17:07

You are right that employers will put themselves first.

It's not a straight forward issue is it? I agree that theoretically it should make no difference, but it's not the reality. Friend of mine can't understand why 'they'venever liked me at that place' but I'm sure it's because she took a permanent job after being temporary for ages then got pg. It's not right. But it's the reality.

StuntGirl · 15/09/2013 17:07

Yes but the point is you never know what is around the corner. Do what's right for you, change it if you need to. Most people are not going to spend their lives skipping from job to job every few months for shits and giggles, it's rare occasions where the planets align to fuck you over. So do what's best for you.

HangingGardenofBabbysBum · 15/09/2013 17:19

Go for it, they'd be lucky to invest all that induction, training, investment in someone who's considering not bing straight with them.

You sound like a prize.

Hope you're not the person my DH had turned down lots of committed candidates to invest in, who'll be making up one fifth of our family business.

marzipanned · 15/09/2013 17:29

Hanging that's a bit harsh, the OP is asking for advice, not saying "hahahaha isn't it great I've got a new job and I'll be going on maternity leave soon and they don't know about it!!!!"

Out of curiosity, OP, what kind of company is this? Because I will agree with Hanging that in a small company it is massively difficult when a new member of staff goes on ML, particularly when the person who trains/interviews is also the person who is responsible for finding new clients/customers.

sameoldIggi · 15/09/2013 17:30

That's just nasty Hangingarden Hmm
The investment would still stand after the maternity leave surely? Is your dh's firm one which wishes it didn't have to "bother" with equality legislation?

hettienne · 15/09/2013 17:34

That's lots of reasons why someone might accept a permanent job, then leave within 6 months.

Better job elsewhere
Going travelling
Illness or injury
Loved one becomes ill
Support partner's career
Moving house
Hates the job

How long do you have to commit to a job if you accept it? Your employer doesn't owe you any loyalty.

I've taken jobs and then left within 6 months because I've got a better offer, because I've moved house, because I hated it and because I was pregnant.

Alisvolatpropiis · 15/09/2013 17:46

Hanginggarden

Bit harsh.

ZolaBuddleia · 15/09/2013 18:09

How does it work in terms of splitting leave with the baby's father? Has that come in yet?

OwlinaTree · 15/09/2013 18:12

Yes but presumably you didn't know when you took the job you were going to leave after 6 months because you hated it or because you were about to move or because you were going to get a better offer. The op does know she's pg and is planning to take ml.

hettienne · 15/09/2013 18:14

What difference does it make if you know or not? If you know that in 6 months you will probably be moving house, should you not get a job? What are you supposed to live on?

HangingGardenofBabbysBum · 15/09/2013 18:17

Possibly.

Thought it was harsh two years ago when we hired a woman for an international sales role. She was standing at the station afterwards telling her OH she'd got the job and how great the maternity package was, and how little she'd have to do because she wouldn't be able to fly.

If c

hettienne · 15/09/2013 18:19

Surely she wouldn't get the maternity package if she was already pregnant?

HangingGardenofBabbysBum · 15/09/2013 18:19

Of course we had to got through the charade of training her, handing over accounts she couldn't service properly, keeping open her job which of c