Meet the Other Phone. Protection built in.

Meet the Other Phone.
Protection built in.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

14 wks pregnant and going for a job interview

210 replies

aichi · 15/09/2013 12:05

I'm 14 wks pregnant and I've been looking for a job for awhile.
I didnt know I was pregnant when I applied for the job - back in June. (They took ages to shortlist for the interview!)

Its the job that I'd like to do and its part time which would suit me. They're looking for a few different posts, permanent and temporary positions. Ideally I would like a permanent post so I can come back to the post after I have the baby.

Am I being unreasonable to go for a job interview at this stage of my pregnancy? I started to show my bump (well for me it looks big already...my second baby) and worried how to cover my bump at the interview...
I also feel sad to feel that I have to hide my bump when I should be happy with my pregnancy..

OP posts:
teatimesthree · 15/09/2013 13:34

Go for it, and tell them AFTER you get the job. Good luck!

hettienne · 15/09/2013 13:34

Go for the interview, don't mention anything about your pregnancy or existing child - why should you?

If you are offered the job, let them know then.

OwlinaTree · 15/09/2013 13:37

hettienne well others have explained why she might want to.

CoffeeTea103 · 15/09/2013 13:40

Even though you are not obligated to, you should be honest with them. Soon you will go on maternity leave and they will need to start the whole process again, as well as train someone all over again.

HeadsDownThumbsUp · 15/09/2013 13:42

We have these legal safeguards to stop unscrupulous employers discriminating against women and pregnant women. What's the point in having legal protection if we're going to ignore it on the offchance that employers might have a shitty attitude. Defeats the whole point of progressive legislation.

turnaroundbrighteyes · 15/09/2013 13:44

Its a difficult one. Legally firms can't discriminate against you because you are pregnant. Larger firms or on employer who thinks you are the best candidate by a mile might be happy and take it all in their stride.

A smaller firm or one struggling in these tough economic times should still put on a brave face, but may find it makes things very difficult for them. Recruitment is expensive, training someone up costs time and money. Then at best they would need to retrain after a lengthy break and be short staffed. At worst pay expensive agency fees on top to cover your maternity leave.

teatimesthree · 15/09/2013 13:46

Can I just point out that

  1. The OP has been looking for a job for a while
  2. It is a job she wants to do
  3. It is part-time.

Why on EARTH would she want to sabotage her chances by telling them she is pregnant?

TheVermiciousKnid's point is spot on: "Ask yourself what a man, whose partner is pregnant, would do in the same situation."

I don't think people "get" sex discrimination in the workplace. The reason you don't have to tell prospective employers you are pregnant is precisely in order to (somewhat) level the playing field between men and women.

Part of being an employer is that you have to deal with this sort of thing (and of course there is financial support from the government to do so).

teatimesthree · 15/09/2013 13:47

"We have these legal safeguards to stop unscrupulous employers discriminating against women and pregnant women. What's the point in having legal protection if we're going to ignore it on the offchance that employers might have a shitty attitude. Defeats the whole point of progressive legislation."
YES!

teatimesthree · 15/09/2013 13:48

For those saying she should tell them, so that they don't have to go through the hassle of maternity cover etc.:

What do you think a single parent who finds herself pregnant and between jobs should do? Take herself off the job market until her baby is born? Or do you not think that women of child bearing age should be financially independent?

StuntGirl · 15/09/2013 13:51

Apply for the job. If you get it you can disclose your pregnancy later.

Either we believe in equality in the workplace or we don't.

SilverApples · 15/09/2013 13:51

By all means apply for the job, conceal your pregnancy and don't accept any questions that they couldn't and wouldn't ask of a man, including anything about your family.
However, be prepared for a possibly very negative attitude to you and your choices from the firm once they have the full picture, they have to comply with what's legal, as do your fellow workers. They cannot discriminate.
But they can make your working environment unco-operative and hostile if they resent the sequence of events.
You may need a thick skin, and to be fully aware of all your rights and possible avenues of support if they decide to micromanage you out.
I'd also recommend belonging to a union.

brainwashed · 15/09/2013 13:56

Definitely go for the job. Years ago I would have been up front and admitted I was pregnant at that stage but not any more. I went for a job, got a verbal offer, but then a written rejection after I'd told them I was pregnant. Silly thing was it was a subsidised part time scheme specifically designed for woman having kids to keep them in the profession! Never challenged it as I wouldn't have been able to get work elsewhere if I had :-(

PresidentServalan · 15/09/2013 14:02

But unfortunately the playing field isn't level - some employers don't employ women of child bearing age so that they can avoid this. So by increasing maternity rights etc what can happen is that ALL women of a certain age are discriminated against. The way I dealt with it when I was younger was to actually tell potential employers the truth that there was no chance that I would be having a family.

teatimesthree · 15/09/2013 14:06

I know what you mean, PresidentServalan. IMO, the only solution is a massive increase in paternity leave so that all women and men of childbearing age are seen as a risk. (In fact men would continue to be a risk for longer than women - if that doesn't level the playing field, then I give up!)

Bearbehind · 15/09/2013 14:14

Rightly or wrongly, I think you'd be wasting everyone's time by applying for this job unless your skills are hugely specialised.

There are more than 7 million unemployed people in this country- what employer is going to keep you on past your probation period once they find out you might be off for a year just weeks after joining.

I know it's not right or fair but it's a tough world out there at the minute.

SilverApples · 15/09/2013 14:17

A year?
I suppose it depends how long you see ML happening for, I went back when mine were 4 months, a friend worked until two days before giving birth and went back 6 weeks after.

hettienne · 15/09/2013 14:18

If an employer terminated your employment because you were pregnant you could take them to a tribunal for unfair dismissal - few employers would want to risk it.

SilverApples · 15/09/2013 14:20

hettie, they are unlikely to risk it, but they can make working conditions so uncomfortable that the OP would choose to resign if they felt that way inclined.
The only way to find out is to take the risk and go for the interview.

Bearbehind · 15/09/2013 14:21

I only said 'might be off for a year' silverapples if the OP doesn't tell them she's pregnant her prospective employer is hardly going to be looking on the bright side of when she might return when considering whether or not to terminate employment after a probationary period.

PresidentServalan · 15/09/2013 14:21

Unfortunately all that increasing paternity leave will make sure that NOONE will be employed! Although it might increase the number of men who go round having children indiscriminately! Grin

Bearbehind · 15/09/2013 14:22

hettie obviously the employer is not going to admit it was because the employee was pregnant but they could find other reasons.

marzipanned · 15/09/2013 14:22

tea there is financial support from the government but what about the drain on management and colleagues' resources of having to recruit, interview and train two people when one would do?

No, it's not fair, but I'm sure if a man was offered a job/interviewed and said something along the lines of "I've got a serious operation coming up which will mean I need 6 months-ish off work" he would be equally discriminated against.

PresidentServalan · 15/09/2013 14:24

And an employer would be in an impossible situation if you weren't up to the job and they wanted to get rid of you after the probationary period. They would probably feel they couldn't do it in case you sued. Pregnant women have more rights in the workplace than anyone else. Give them the information they need to make an informed decision.

teatimesthree · 15/09/2013 14:30

I am interested in people's answers to my question:
"What do you think a single parent who finds herself pregnant and between jobs should do? Take herself off the job market until her baby is born? Or do you not think that women of child bearing age should be financially independent?"

hugoagogo · 15/09/2013 14:35

Of course you should go for the job, congratulations Grin