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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell DH and MiL to stop being ridiculous

85 replies

ipswichwitch · 14/09/2013 17:28

I took DS out shopping today with MIL, and while I was paying for a few birthday presents (he's 2 in a couple of weeks) I clearly heard MIL saying to DS "no, that's for little girls". I went to investigate and found DS cuddling a soft toy of Doc McStuffins (for those who don't know, Doc mcStuffins is a Disney channel cartoon that DS loves about a little girl who has toys that come to life and she fixes them when they're ill)

He is never normally interested in soft toys but he'd really taken a shine to this one, but MiL kept saying its for girls not boys over and over. I said don't be daft, he's 2 and can play with whatever he fancies, and likes the pushchairs at his nursery too. She seemed horrified, but said nothing else, and after DS saying a long goodbye to Doc, we left.

I was telling DH about it when we got home, saying I plan to get one for DSs birthday since he liked it so much, and he started with the "it's for girls" nonsense. Then uttered "but it might make him gay....."

Now, the only thing stopping me from tearing him a new one at the sheer ludicrousness of that statement is the fact we have had no sleep for a week (DS teething), and I can only assume its sleep deprivation making him talk shite. They both think I'm going doolally for buying him a "girls toy" and I think they're talking out their arses, and I've told them both to stop being ridiculous.

Actually, I don't really know what the point of this AIBU is, since I know it's them not me!

OP posts:
Shellywelly1973 · 14/09/2013 17:31

Yanbu!

Bloody hell its 2013...do people actually believe 'girls' toys make boys gay??

WorraLiberty · 14/09/2013 17:32

You're right it is them.

At least your MIL is from a different generation (although she needs to get with the times) where 'boys' and 'girls' toys were often very separate toy wise...so she's got much to learn.

I'm not quite sure why your DH is thinking that way unless he happens to think like a 50s throwback.

Movingtimes · 14/09/2013 17:32

The only possible answer to 'but it might make him gay' is a hard stare and the single word 'And?'

Not only are you not BU but you were very restrained. Personally I would go out and buy DS at least half a dozen of the toys, making sure that there was one in DH and MIL's eyeline every time they walked into any room of your house.

Lj8893 · 14/09/2013 17:33

How silly they are both being!!

fuzzpig · 14/09/2013 17:33

Oh FFS Angry hell no YADNBU

Please get the toy for your little boy :)

strawberrypenguin · 14/09/2013 17:34

Not you ips get it for him if he'll like it Grin ignore DH and MIL they have clearly lost the plot! How are you all?

JoinYourPlayfellows · 14/09/2013 17:35

He thinks a playing with a toy that the manufacturers of a toy aim at girls will turn a 2 year old boy gay? :o Shock

LTB

I would genuinely feel differently about DH if he ever said something so completely stupid and homophobic.

What a douche.

Yama · 14/09/2013 17:36

I would have no respect for dh if he came out with that guff.

In fact, it is well known in our house that dh's favourite colour is pink. We don't want our kids to think that girls' stuff is inferior. Which is what the example your mil is setting is doing.

nicename · 14/09/2013 17:36

A toy dog will make your son gay? We've got no chance then, DS loves dog - all dogs - and has loads of dog toys (toy dogs, not chew toys!).

I didn't think people thought you 'caught gay' anymore!

DumSpiroSpero · 14/09/2013 17:37

Yadnbu! DD's friend used to happily dress up in her princess and fairy dresses when they were toddlers. He's now a very typical footy loving 9yo (as is DD Grin !)

daisychain01 · 14/09/2013 17:37

Why not buy DS the 'girley' purple and pink Muller strawberry yoghurts they were discussing on MN the other day, and give DS one for his tea.

Will send your DH into a complete epi-fit!

Sorry to say it, ipswich, but he isnt being last-century, more like last millenium! So no YADNBU and good on you for not standing for any of his silly nonsense.

IneedAsockamnesty · 14/09/2013 17:37

The only way to resolve this is to go a bit weird yourself.

Watch dh and mil like a hawk adopt a breathless way of talking but mouth the last 3 words of every sentence silently.

Do this several times a day straight after snatching innocuous objects away from dh and mil make sure no product group or item is safe no matter how innocent it is.

Snazzyenjoyingsummer · 14/09/2013 17:38

Ridiculous. Tell him he's talking rubbish and you don't want to hear it again. Then go and get him the toy yourself to make the point.

Nanny0gg · 14/09/2013 17:38

At least your MIL is from a different generation (although she needs to get with the times)

Um, so am I and I get apoplectic over the Pinkification of toys, so it's not age, or generation, it's attitude.

And the only reason I think YABU OP, is that I loathe Doc McStuffins with a passion! However, unfortunately my DGS agrees with your DS!

diddl · 14/09/2013 17:39

LTB??

Is he very, very old??

catgirl1976 · 14/09/2013 17:39

Of course YANBU

I can sort of understand your MIL a little as she is older. But your DH?

Let's hope it was just sleep deprivation causing random words to come out of his head and not a real thought.

LunaticFringe · 14/09/2013 17:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

pianodoodle · 14/09/2013 17:41

You're right - and they're both talking out of their arses!

GiGiGi · 14/09/2013 17:41

DS1 only ever played with an Abby Cadabby doll when he was little (it was the only thing his big sister allowed him to touch.) I didn't realise he had caught the gay from doing so. Your husband is an ignorant twat.

WoTmania · 14/09/2013 17:42

YANBU - FFS, I really don't know where I would start...

DontmindifIdo · 14/09/2013 17:46

they are both talking crap, buy the doll. I would tell your DH that he needs to entertain the idea that how ever many 'macho' toys he buys his DS, his DS might still be gay, and you now would like him to explain to you why that would be a bad thing...

But most importantly, does your DH never push the pram or cuddle DS? Does he really think that DS only sees woman doing caring roles? Playing with dolls and prams is role playing what he sees adults do, and surely (unless your DH is a complete cock) he sees his Daddy doing these things too?

elcranko · 14/09/2013 17:48

What an odd comment to make. It's a stuffed toy FFS! Definitely buy it for your DS, by the sound of things it will make his day! Smile

quoteunquote · 14/09/2013 17:51

Do what Sockreturningpixie said, brilliant.

Seriously get him the toy, and tell them to be quite or they will give him hang ups.

Hawkmoth · 14/09/2013 17:51

A real doctor who is a woman might also make him gay, no?

Rubbish.

I'm ever so pleased with my DS and his delight at getting a pirate queen to join his playmobil collection. Gender balance...

Original poster
ipswichwitch · 14/09/2013 17:52

Waves at strawberrypenguin - we're fine, apart from chronic sleep deprivation. still got 5 more back teeth to come (sob!) how are you?

Oh as soon as I have the spare cash I'm buying him 50 one Grin
I know DH isn't homophobic and I don't entirely think he was being serious when he said it, it seems from subsequent conversations that he's actually bothered about his mates taking the piss. I told him to stop being an arse and if I never want to hear him talking crap like that again. He ha apologised, and blamed lack of sleep for him making no sense Hmm
His DM is very old fashioned and a different matter entirely. She believes its a woman's place to do housework, cooking and generally keep the husband happy, despite me and dH working the same hours. Fortunately, DH is great at sharing household stuff, unfortunately a dire cook, but we're working on that! She thinks I'm a lentil weaving hippy because I bfed and co-slept but that's a whole nother thread.
I'm not only going to get the doll, I have bought DS a toy kitchen so she'll probably have an attack of the vapours (or something equally Victorian)

OP posts:
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