To tell DH and MiL to stop being ridiculous

[ipswichwitch]

I took DS out shopping today with MIL, and while I was paying for a few birthday presents (he's 2 in a couple of weeks) I clearly heard MIL saying to DS "no, that's for little girls". I went to investigate and found DS cuddling a soft toy of Doc McStuffins (for those who don't know, Doc mcStuffins is a Disney channel cartoon that DS loves about a little girl who has toys that come to life and she fixes them when they're ill)

He is never normally interested in soft toys but he'd really taken a shine to this one, but MiL kept saying its for girls not boys over and over. I said don't be daft, he's 2 and can play with whatever he fancies, and likes the pushchairs at his nursery too. She seemed horrified, but said nothing else, and after DS saying a long goodbye to Doc, we left.

I was telling DH about it when we got home, saying I plan to get one for DSs birthday since he liked it so much, and he started with the "it's for girls" nonsense. Then uttered "but it might make him gay....."

Now, the only thing stopping me from tearing him a new one at the sheer ludicrousness of that statement is the fact we have had no sleep for a week (DS teething), and I can only assume its sleep deprivation making him talk shite. They both think I'm going doolally for buying him a "girls toy" and I think they're talking out their arses, and I've told them both to stop being ridiculous.

Actually, I don't really know what the point of this AIBU is, since I know it's them not me!

Thanks ips I shall not look forward to it shoulda like a good chat with DH glad you worked it out. Hope you get some more sleep soon.

Sounds even!

When DS was about five, we went to Tokyo Disneyland, and the only thing he wanted from the gift shop was a giant plush Little Mermaid doll - like this one but about twice the size - it was almost as tall as him. Yes, I bought it for him, and they were inseparable for months. He is now 15, and not gay, but even if he were, I would not be attributing that to a toy purchase a decade ago.

Oh, my DM raised her eyebrows at our purchase of a kitchen for DS, because kitchens are for girls you know. She couldn't understand why he would want to play with it. DS is perfectly happy to use it and play shops with all the play food whilst DM sits there with a slightly puzzled expression. DM lives in the 50s.

YANBU this attitude really annoys me with my PIL. I've had to explain to them several times that playing with so called girl's toys will not make ds gay and even if it did it wouldn't matter as there is nothing wrong with being gay. Sigh, it seems to make no difference though

Using a mega bloks pirate cannon as a breast pump..... Genius! I could have saved a fortune!
Sadly DMIL is firmly entrenched in the 50's and raised her kids with a firm boys will be boys and girls will be girls attitude. She has a number of crazy ideas, such as bf and me snacking at night while i was pregnant making DS a bad sleeper. We do have very different parenting ideas, which I will no longer discuss because I can't deal with the battiness of it all. It's a wonder DH has turned out relatively normal!

Op you know you could have some serious fun with this don't you

DS2 loves his babas and liked to tuck them in smother them with various blankets.

DS1 recently told me he wished I could be a baby in his tummy and that he could give DS2 some milk like I do.

Ooh, YANBU of course.

Likes not liked.

Please tell me you've made sure to die all dh's shirts and underpants pink? Even if he doesn't entirely deserve it, surely it's worth it to upset MIL?

Sorry, dye.

Your MIL sounds a lot mine OP

She asked if we'd wanted boys when DDs were 3 because they had train sets. They've survived the trauma of being exposed To 'boy's toys' .

I can see why your DH has concerns about the reaction of wider family given what he witnessed growing up. As someone said earlier being suportive parents helps DCs who are gay To live happy and full lives.

Agree with whoever said to check out Let Toys Be Toys It's a toy campaign started by fellow MNers!

Great link silverten.

Can you imagine asking a gay person "how do you think you caught 'the gay'?"

My kids watch doc mcstuffins and they LOVE it! Got a boy and a girl. For a cartoon character, she's a good role model fixing up broken toys in the doctors surgery!

Stupid old cow with her dated comments! Bet she'd take ALL the credit for buying it if he turned out to be a doctor!!!!!

Buy the toy and take great delight in making her aware you bought it and he loves it! :) x

DS has 2 older sisters all of his toys practically have a feminine leaning and he adores Dora so YANBU they are both bonkers.

Oh I plan on having enormous amounts of fun with this now. DS will be getting the doll and sparkly pink medical bag (thanks DH :) ), and he also likes wearing my jewellery. At a christening the other week I kept him quiet in church by giving him my chunky silver bracelet and he wore it the rest of the day. He also enjoys trying my shoes on, so next time MiL comes over I will leave out my girliest heels, a pile of jewellery and a couple of handbags and let him loose with the lot

I am also expecting DC2, and she has asked if we'd prefer girl/boy. We really don't mind (hence not finding out at the scan), but when I told her that either way we have tons of DSs old clothes for the baby so at least don't need to buy much, she hooked her bosom and announced I couldn't possibly dress a girl in all those boys clothes. I just went an ignored. God, if its a girl I'm going to get landed with tons of hideous pink frothy stuff aren't I??

I am stocking up on Lego for when my little girl gets older. A woman at work told me that it is for boys, and would turn her lesbian. LEGO ffs!

I have no problem with lesbians, but I do have a problem with the irrational.

Cobwebby (sorry, seems rude to call you old!) I'm sat in bed breastfeeding my 10mo while my male partner makes porridge. My lego farm, police station, pirate island and hospital are next door in ds's cupboard waiting for him to be old enough. Guess i got it all wrong and will have to find myself a good woman asap then

:o

My DS loves his toenails painted when I do mine which is not very often you could have a bit of fun painting your nails, and if DS absolutely insisted on his being done as well, well what were you to do???

Yes ipswich if it's a girl prepare yourself for pink baby dolls, pink poodles, glittery fairy wings and "stories for girls". (Veteran of the sexist in-laws!!)

When DD was coming along, I expressively said to DMiL that I didn't want pink, as I knew from experience (two other DGDs) that she would engulf us in the colour. Then, of course, we got bits and pieces from all over, so when she saw her in anything like it she would comment, 'but I thought...', so I had to politely explain my reasoning. She understood, laughed about it (she's lovely, thank god).

And then, when DD started to get an opinion, her favourite colour became blue... So when DS came along, he got to use all the pink stuff.

DMiL still comments, but she is sensible enough to know that if DS is happy then he can play with all the 'girls' toys he wants (and she has fucking loads of them!) Chances are he will spend most of his childhood being dressed and made-up by his sister and female cousins, but who honestly cares if he's loving it!