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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to think this class system only exists on MN?

308 replies

GildedWingsOfGrace · 13/09/2013 20:00

All the time I hear "middle class" bashing on here.

Or "working class" guilt. Only on MN.

I wouldn't have a clue what class I am or what class my friends are, or the people I work with are.

It doesn't even occur to me, and I never hear it mentioned in day to day life

OP posts:

usualsuspect · 14/09/2013 16:44

I mean I could win the lottery, buy a mansion etc. Have all the trappings of a MC lifestyle.

It wouldn't make me a different class though.

So I'm not sure how you can move class.

scarlettsmummy2 · 14/09/2013 16:56

I don't think you can ever really move classes either- I think we just inherently know someones class from lots of little signs what someones background is. You just become attuned to whether someone is the same as you or not.

MurderOfGoths · 14/09/2013 17:02

Interesting about not being able to move class, I kind of feel like I have (or at least I'm aware some people perceive me differently). I guess that's why I'm aware of it. Had a very MC upbringing but now seen as being very WC, and the way people react is so very different.

mrsjay · 14/09/2013 17:07

*don't think you can move class tbh.

You are what you are.

Why would you want to be seen as MC?

Do you assume it's better than being WC?*

Now I understand and agree with being working class is nothing to be ashamed of and if people are ashamed then they are aspirational twats imo

scarlettsmummy2 · 14/09/2013 17:09

I think it is probably easier to pass yourself off as working class than it is to be working class and try to present as middle class.

mrsjay · 14/09/2013 17:13

I think it is probably easier to pass yourself off as working class than it is to be working class and try to present as middle class

How so ?

as I said it doesn't seem so prevalent in scotland people do not have the same attitude to peoples names their education the house they live in as I have seen on here saying that there is snobbery which could just be seen as the same as the class system as lots of people look down on others regardless of class are just a bit more open about it,

mrsjay · 14/09/2013 17:15

saying that I was snubbed recently by a woman I thought i got on well with and trained with as she was with hermiddle class friends and ignored me I couldnt work out what I did but I just don't think i fitted in that situation and the friends she was with,

usualsuspect · 14/09/2013 17:17

My sister does a very good job as passing herself off as MC.

She's not though and never will be.

SubliminalMassaging · 14/09/2013 17:20

But does it matter usual? If she is 'passing' as whatever she wants to be or feels she is, then she's doing a pretty good job of it, and I'm sure her friends don't care either way. Why do you care? do you feel she is somehow betraying you by getting 'above her station'?

scarlettsmummy2 · 14/09/2013 17:22

Because one of the clearest signs of class is speech.Someone middle class can deliberately use incorrect grammar or use local dialect for example, but someone working class can't use what they don't know if that makes sense? There obviously are working class people who use correct grammar but it is how I personally would identify someone's educational background.

I am in Edinburgh and class is alive in kicking there. The differences between the lives of very well off, private school educated and those from a working class background is hugely noticeable.

usualsuspect · 14/09/2013 17:25

I don't give a toss tbh.

I'm just saying you can pass yourself off as whatever you like.

usualsuspect · 14/09/2013 17:27

She feels she has to 'fit in' with her circle of friends.

I find it a bit ridiculous tbh.

SubliminalMassaging · 14/09/2013 17:30

Yes Scarlett that makes perfect sense to me. I've heard people say 'I can speak nicely with proper grammar when I want/need to.'

i'm afraid I don't share their faith.

usualsuspect · 14/09/2013 17:30

I don't think anyone's above my station.

SubliminalMassaging · 14/09/2013 17:32

Well we all want to fit in with our friends, don't we? In fact if we don't fit in, or we feel constantly a bit uncomfortable and out of place then we don't tend to view those people as real friends at all.

morethanpotatoprints · 14/09/2013 17:34

If it is the case that you might not be the same class as your parents, as somebody suggested, then how can you be sure what class you/somebody else is?
What are the boundaries then? What are the determining factors, because I really don't know.
Sometimes it is obvious to me that a particular person went to Public or Private school, their parents may have won the Lottery, and not been born into money.

greenbananas · 14/09/2013 17:35

Scarlett, believe me, a middle class person cannot imitate working class dialect just by using poor grammar or throwing the odd dialect word in. Real working class people would either laugh at them or be very offended. A working class local dialect is just as rich, expressive and complicated as middle class speech. You seem to be implying that it is inferior in some way. It's not, it's just different (and has lower social status).

usualsuspect · 14/09/2013 17:37

No we don't all pretend to be someone we are not to fit in with friends.

My friends don't care much about who has an RP accent and who doesn't.

MurderOfGoths · 14/09/2013 17:41

Real friends wouldn't expect/want someone to pretend to be something they aren't.

Actually on the class thing I'm actually finding it hard to meet people as there tends to be this real divide a lot of the time (one of the reasons I like MN is that it isn't actually so divided), where the MC people tend to assume I have nothing in common with them - based on daft assumptions, and the WC tend to think I'm a snob because I have more MC interests.

scarlettsmummy2 · 14/09/2013 17:41

Green- probably depends where you are. I am from northern Ireland and not all working class areas have an obvious dialect in the way that I have noticed areas in Scotland do. I have a couple of friends from extremely well off, upper middle class back grounds in Belfast, who as teenagers adopted a faux working class persona in a fit of teenage rebellion and now in their late twenties and thirties someone who met them would struggle to identify their middle class background. However, if you knew them well you would know they were imposters.

mrsjay · 14/09/2013 17:43

I am in Edinburgh and class is alive in kicking there. The differences between the lives of very well off, private school educated and those from a working class background is hugely noticeable.

I suppose you are right maybe I am just oblivious or not that interested in it. I have a nice accent and can speak right doesn't make me middle class though ,

mrsjay · 14/09/2013 17:45

a Posh Edinburgh/Glasgow accent is different to a normal accent where i live there is a few accents going on and dialect I can slip in and out of both maybe it is me who is the aspirational twat

Onesleeptillwembley · 14/09/2013 17:46

Tell you what, usual I bet her friends can tell....

greenbananas · 14/09/2013 17:47

Yes, Scarlett, a lot of middle and upper class teenagers do this, but they don't fool the genuine working class and precariat, not for a second. In the same way that working class people can't "use what they don't know" in order to sound middle class, the teenagers you are talking about also can't use what they don't know.

Some of the very deprived teenagers I have worked with and lived with in my community feel rather offended by well off teenagers trying to pretend they know what it feels like to be marginalised, jobless, permanently skint, from chaotic backgrounds.

And how would you feel about someone from Surrey speaking in a comically bad Irish accent and pretending to be Irish, just because they thought it was cool?

scarlettsmummy2 · 14/09/2013 17:48

The very well to do in Edinburgh that I know would struggle to be identified as even Scottish at all, and their children are growing up the same.

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