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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to go on a work thing for a couple of days

26 replies

superbagpuss · 12/09/2013 19:53

really want to know your thoughts on this

I work full time and have a career I love most of the time, in a company I also love

dh is a sahd and looks after our DC

I have an opportunity with work to go away for a couple of nights doing something work related, that looks good on my CV and is paid for except for petrol

but dh will be left alone with DC, two school days and a sat - I am at home late sat night. his parents live close by so he can ask them for support

aibu to want to do this?

OP posts:
ILetHimKeep20Quid · 12/09/2013 19:53

Yanbu, why would you be unreasonable to want to do this?

UnicornsPooGlitter · 12/09/2013 19:54

YANBU, go for it! Make sure you have a lovely day all together on the Sunday, or offer DH some time to himself?

Katz · 12/09/2013 19:54

no - i go away for a work conference at least once a year. DH goes away for work too.

TravelinColour · 12/09/2013 19:54

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

kinkyfuckery · 12/09/2013 19:57

YANBU.

I bet most men in a role-reversal wouldn't think twice!

Pozzled · 12/09/2013 19:58

Yanbu. I'm confused about why you are even asking! My DH goes away with work occasionally; it can be a bit of a pain arranging childcare, but it wouldn't cross my mind to ask him not to go. It sounds like this is a rare thing for you, so it's not as though you're constantly away.

CMOTDibbler · 12/09/2013 19:59

yanbu. I travel a lot for work and leave dh with ds - a dh has a ft job and no help from family.

noblegiraffe · 12/09/2013 20:03

Not getting the problem here, especially as they'll be at school most of the time? Or even if they weren't, tbh.

HearMyRoar · 12/09/2013 20:03

What does your dh say? Is he suggesting you are unreasonable for wanting to go? If so what are his reasons?

As others have said plenty of men wouldn't think twice about it so unless there is something we are missing I can't see why you wouldn't go.

wem · 12/09/2013 20:06

YA very very clearly NBU. Are you thinking this time away will also be a lot of fun along with being work related, good on your CV and paid for? Do you have guilt?

wem · 12/09/2013 20:10

DH is on his fourth week-long trip away for work so far this year. And there are many other jobs which require much more travelling than that. Two nights is nothing.

Original poster
superbagpuss · 12/09/2013 20:10

hi everyone
thanks for your replies
I do feel guilty as it will be fun as well

dh thinks my DC will miss me too much and I shouldn't go away

OP posts:
WidowWadman · 12/09/2013 20:11

I'm surprised you even feel the need to ask. It's just a couple of nights, not like you're going on a 3 months secondment to their antipodean branch.

UnicornsPooGlitter · 12/09/2013 20:12

Pah, DH thinks he won't get much of a break for a few days more like Smile. They'll all be fine, make it up to them on the Sunday.

TravelinColour · 12/09/2013 20:12

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

wem · 12/09/2013 20:18

How optional is it? I can see it would be easier to say - I have to do this for work, and just go. But having to make the choice means deciding to make life (marginally) harder for your DH in order to prioritise your work stuff. But it is a totally justifiable choice, and one I agree many men in your position wouldn't think twice about.

TCOB · 12/09/2013 20:24

YANBU. Speaking as a SAH parent, without DH for five days at the mo, and DS 10 DD 3, I feel it would be selfish and short-termist of your partner to make it difficult for you. Yes, your kids will miss you. But guess what? They'll be happy to see you again too! Also I quite enjoy having him out of the way...

MrsWembley · 12/09/2013 20:30

Dear god, GO!

My DP rarely, but sometimes, has to have a night over for a work night out and he always asks (and, I feel, would often be thankful if I said 'hell, no'), but I wouldn't even dream of saying no.

And that's just for a few beers, a free meal and some networking. This is for your CV, ffs. Ask him to be honest about how he would react if you told him not to go if he was in your situation. If he blushes you can forgive him...

BackforGood · 12/09/2013 20:46

I can't believe you are questioning it- you are the one working outside the home, and this is part of your job/career.

ShadowSummer · 12/09/2013 22:04

I'm not really seeing how you going on a work thing for a few days is a problem. Especially given that your DH is a SAHD so presumably used to looking after the kids by himself anyway.

If you were talking about a regular few nights away every week, or a secondment lasting several months, then I could see why you'd want to think harder about it, but two school days and a Saturday? That's hardly any time at all.

milkysmum · 12/09/2013 22:08

No you are not. I am going away on a course for work on Sunday and be back Friday- eh Will be left with 4 year old and 2 year old and will have to do nursery and school drop off and then go on to work- hmmm pretty much what I do do sure he'll cope for a few days!!

MortifiedAdams · 12/09/2013 22:10

Well, I wouldnt think twice of DH doing it,.so.id be mighty pissed if he didnt want me to go.

HomeEcoGnomist · 12/09/2013 22:11

The kids will be fine.
I am away tomorrow, back on sat - part work, part fun.

I have to go away about once a month with work, DH has a ft job and no parents nearby

We just manage

Go, and don't think twice

lemontwist · 12/09/2013 22:16

Role reversal but I'm a SAHM and DH is going away for a week with work, leaving Sat morning. I'll miss him and will ge very ready for the boys' bedtime on an evening but I'm actually looking forward to a few evenings of just me, Wineand a bit of MN.
Don't feel guilty, all will be fine!

lemontwist · 12/09/2013 22:21

Just seen your last post. i wouldn't dream of telling DH he couldn't/shouldn't go. Neither would he if I was to go away for a few days.

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