So, I offered a fellow mum ...

[MoistJoist]

... a brand new (school-branded) uniform set for her DC as she had been unable to order any in time for the start of the school term. I gave it to her last week and she promised to pop the money for it round the following day. She didn't, and I did not hear from her until I received a text yesterday saying she had ordered more uniform for her DC as, after she washed and dried the new set I gave her, they came up a little tight, and that she will return the set to me tomorrow (presumably after her DC has worn it for the whole week ...)

I'm not sure how she's washed and dried it as I have washed the same uniform set (part of the same batch I ordered, and cleaned according to the instructions on the label(s)), tried it on my DS (who is a smidgeon bigger than her DC) and it came up just fine i.e. it is his size. There is every possibility that it may not see him through the entire school year if he goes through a growth spurt, but it is his size.

I'm not really sure how to respond to her text. I'm not close to the mum, but our DC have been cared for together for years and are good friends (and will be in the same class at school, which they are hugely excited about), and I have always liked and respected her, albeit from a distance. I don't think it is worth falling out over this (especially as I am not desperate for the money), but AIBU to consider her text a little bit cheeky, given that it was a brand new set and she'd promised to pay me for it? And WWYD?

[yegodsandlittlefishes]

Yes, hold it up and if it isn't usable/returnable, ask her to drop it off to the school office for them to sell as second hand uniform! (If they don't do that at your DCs' school, it sounds as though now would be a good time to start and this woman would be perfect as the volunteer to run it on the school's behalf!)

[ZenGardener]

Let us know what happens

Hope you get the money!

[YeahWhat]

That a really good text OP.

I hope you get your money. I think her original text was really cheeky.

[BinarySolo]

Hope you get the money, but I suspect the cheeky mare will just return the uniform.

[Cerisier]

Wow she is cheeky, but it will be her loss that you can't help with lending kit/ after school care/ other stuff. You know now that she will take the piss and will keep your distance.

I hope she does pay for the uniform, but, like others, I don't think she will.

[sashh]

I'm thinking she doesn't have the cash but does have a credit card. So she is not able to pay but can order uniform even if she ends up paying over the odds for it.

[LouiseAderyn]

If you let this go, you will always feel pissed off about it. She has shown that she isn't your friend and you can't go back from that, so you might as well get your money! She is taking the piss - don't let her.

[MoominsYonisAreScary]

She is a cheeky cow yanbu

[LazyGaga]

Why oh why oh why did you say ".... or uniform..."????!

You know what you're going to get and it ain't money.

[PeppermintCreamsSaga]

Could you cancel your order for the replacements? Or return it when it arrives? I'm guessing the supplier is John Lewis?

[championroar]

o

[PeppermintCreamsSaga]

Didn't finish my post.

I'm guessing that there's nothing wrong with the "shrunken" uniform and it will be perfectly usable for your child.

I would leave it as a valuable lesson, and a warning on how this mum is going to be over the next few years. Tell her lie that you've taken it back to the shop and got a bigger set for free.

[SarahAndFuck]

I think she's been really rude.

She may have washed it before he DC wore it, as some things feel much nicer once they have been washed.

But she agreed to buy the uniform, it's not your fault she shrank it in the wash.

If she has the cheek to bring the uniform back rather than the money she owes you then you should have no qualms about asking her how she washed it and ruined it.

[hermioneweasley]

If she tried to drop off the uniform, have the receipt ready and tell her you're out of pocket but if she washed it as per instructions and it's faulty, here's the receipt to send it back.

And now distance - as expat said, cheeky pisstakers are not your friend.

[MoistJoist]

Still no response from her ...

I don't know her very well but, the more I think about it, I genuinely don't think she's horrible or malicious. It might just be she sent her text without thinking or had forgotten that she agreed to pay for it. I'm always happy to give people the benefit of the doubt, and don't think 30-odd pounds is (to me) worth a huge ruckus (although I appreciate that I am lucky as others may not be able to write off such an amount so easily). If she returns the uniform, I shall accept it with a smile, but make a mental note about being a bit more wary in the future

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

If she's just thoughtless, then hopefully you've made her think

[Charlottehere]

It's not worth it...let it go, lesson learned ie be wary of her in future

[Jinsei]

Well done, OP, you sound more than reasonable. Hopefully the other mum will realise that it isn't on to give the uniform back, but if she doesn't, you'll just have to chalk it up to experience. And make a mental note not to help her ever again!

[Bowlersarm]

She has been very cheeky. You are not the designated uniform supplier! You did a good deed, and now are (possibly) having to pay the price, of her careless clothes washing habits.

Hmmm. Well you clearly need to be the bigger person here, but she isn't being at all fair or reasonable.

[Snatchoo]

Moist you are being far too generous.

No one 'forgets' after a week that they agreed to pay for something! And now you have given her a perfect get-out by saying she can drop round the uniform OR the money.

Bet she doesn't contact you and then leaves them on your doorstep when you're out.

[YeahWhat]

moist

Honestly, What do you think the chances are that she forgot?
Hint, it is less than 1 percent

It's easy for you to let this slide but people like your grabby friend will never learn if noone calls them up on their behaviour.

She isn't embarrassed about stealing taking your stuff - so why should you worry about feeling embarrassed about asking for the money? It doesn't make sense for you not too.

I bet that if you don't do anything it will bug you for years.

[MoistJoist]

So, the mum dropped something off and it was .... ...

... the MONEY!

I did ask how the uniform had shrunk and she said it had been washed/dried incorrectly and had shrunk so that it was tight on her DC, and admitted that with my DS being bigger than her DC, it probably wouldn't fit him anymore! I also said I'd be happy for her to pay me back at a later point if easier for her, but she was fine with paying me back now.

She seemed ok, albeit appearing to be in a hurry (as she'd been driven over by someone who was waiting for her, and had to get into town). All in all, a civilized (even if short) conversation.

It's a shame about the uniform as she's been left out of pocket, but I would have been as well so I'm trying not to feel guilty about that - overall, I'm just pleased it's now resolved.

Thanks to all again for their opinions/responses

[HeffalumpTheFlump]

Glad she gave you the money, but I cant quite believe the cheek of her that she was trying to get you to fork out for a uniform that she shrunk! Cheeky cow!!

[PTFO]

Me thinks she has seen this post, either way you got the right result!

[bishboschone]

She must be seriously rubbish at washing to shrink uniform . It's made from pretty indestructible stuff..!! Anyway glad you got
Your money.