So, I offered a fellow mum ...

[MoistJoist]

... a brand new (school-branded) uniform set for her DC as she had been unable to order any in time for the start of the school term. I gave it to her last week and she promised to pop the money for it round the following day. She didn't, and I did not hear from her until I received a text yesterday saying she had ordered more uniform for her DC as, after she washed and dried the new set I gave her, they came up a little tight, and that she will return the set to me tomorrow (presumably after her DC has worn it for the whole week ...)

I'm not sure how she's washed and dried it as I have washed the same uniform set (part of the same batch I ordered, and cleaned according to the instructions on the label(s)), tried it on my DS (who is a smidgeon bigger than her DC) and it came up just fine i.e. it is his size. There is every possibility that it may not see him through the entire school year if he goes through a growth spurt, but it is his size.

I'm not really sure how to respond to her text. I'm not close to the mum, but our DC have been cared for together for years and are good friends (and will be in the same class at school, which they are hugely excited about), and I have always liked and respected her, albeit from a distance. I don't think it is worth falling out over this (especially as I am not desperate for the money), but AIBU to consider her text a little bit cheeky, given that it was a brand new set and she'd promised to pay me for it? And WWYD?

[SlobAtHome]

Agree with those who say don't let it drop.

No matter how broke you are you pay money you are owed.

I've been there. You pay. You cut in other areas (food is the easiest) to pay your debts, esp to kind friends.

[SoupDragon]

oh sorry, I'm a bit confused, I understood you were buying this off me because you were stuck. You told me you'd be dropping in the money?

THis.

[EhricLovesTeamQhuay]

No don't accept the uniform back. She bought it from you and it's now hers to deal with. Why would she have washed it if it hadn't been worn? And since she's washed and used it, it's hers. Make it clear you expect payment because you have now bought a new set to replace it. If it's too small she will have to sell it on.

[MackerelOfFact]

Maybe she's trying to fob you off with her old set of uniform so she doesnt have to pay for the new set, and then keeping the new set?! And is using the 'shrunk in the wash' excuse to explain why it's smaller. And clearly been worn?

[expatinscotland]

Think you've been had here, OP, and tbh, I think it's entirely worth 'falling out' with someone over because cheeky pisstakers are not and never are friends.

[DialsMavis]

I don't think it matters if she is broke. We are completely skint sometimes and it doesn't turn me into a sneaky, piss taking so and so! YANBU

[HeffalumpTheFlump]

Completely agree with pp. She agreed to buy it off of you. You have already ordered, received and washed the replacement. You need the money she owes to cover that replacement that you would not have needed if you hadn't helped her out. There's no way you should just take it back. I don't think the size of the uniform is relevant at all, it's simple she owes you the money as agreed.

If she is willing to take the piss like this she isn't your friend anyway, but there is no need to fall out. You are simply asking her to do as she agreed, you aren't being unreasonable at all. Stick to your guns op.

[Easyonthetonic]

Text her what Soupdragon said and see what she does.

Even if she wont pay you, the original arrangement needs to be reiterated.

[piratecat]

you have to say 'hi, if it's shrunk then it's not going to fit my ds and will be no good ti me either'

[BinarySolo]

I don't think it matters if she is broke. We are completely skint sometimes and it doesn't turn me into a sneaky, piss taking so and so! YANBU

Yep! I'd fall out over this. Yes life is short, too short to waste on ungrateful, entitled gits.

[expatinscotland]

'I don't think it matters if she is broke. We are completely skint sometimes and it doesn't turn me into a sneaky, piss taking so and so! YANBU'

This.

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

"She's banking on you saying, oh that's a shame don't worry about it. That way she gets a free set of uniform. I'd lay money on the fact that that's what she's after. Don't let her get away with it. I like the suggestions along the line of "I'd prefer it if you dropped off the money as agreed originally, I can't take it back if you've shrunk it." If she then says oh it's not too bad, you reply with "In that case I still need the money if it's useable and you're keeping it." Cheeky woman"


I agree with that sparlke

[NoSquirrels]

Definitely reply along the lines of "Oh dear, sorry to hear it has shrunk. I ordered another set when you agreed to pay for that one, which I've already used, so I do need you to pay for that set. Do you want to drop the money tomorrow and I can give you the order details so you can complain direct to the supplier?"

Do not "suck it up". It is not good behaviour on her part, and you don't need to "keep the peace" - you're not in the wrong.

[OhTheDrama]

Something similar happened to me a year or so ago. My DD and her best friend both joined Brownies together. We were told that we could get the uniform from the shop or order it online. I duly ordered two sets from the online shop. The mum of the other girl rang me in panic the night before they made their promise, she hadn't managed to get a uniform. I told her she could have the other set and told her she owed me X amount. Gave it to DD to give her friend at school and she wore it that night.

Was still waiting for payment a month later and text the mum, got a text back to say that her DD had changed her mind about brownies so I can have it back. I told the mum that that didn't suit and as the uniform was unworn I'd need payment from her and that she could recoup her losses on ebay. The mum is really funny with me now but I'll be damned if I was letting her away with it. I would text her back some of the great replies you have already been given. Please do not write this off!

[MoistJoist]

Wow, loads of responses on this! Thanks for the support - it's nice to know IWNBU in thinking her text was a tad cheeky

Well, earlier this evening, I sent her a text along the lines of,

"Hey X. Hope you and DC settling into school routine ok. Re: the uniform, I'm a bit confused as I understood you were buying this off me and told me you'd drop off the money to me last weekend? I've also already ordered and received a set to replace the one I gave you. If it has shrunk after you washed and dried it, I don't think it will be much use to my DS given that he's a smidgen bigger than your DC. However, we're around for the rest of the evening if you want to drop the money or uniform off. MJx"

The way I see it, I've been polite whilst letting on that I haven't forgotten what was originally agreed. However, the ball's in her court now as to how she responds/what she drops off.

[MammaTJ]

I look forward to cheeky bints reply!

[Ifcatshadthumbs]

Good text although I suspect you won't see any money for the uniform though.

[JamieandtheMagicTorch]

You've taken a route which doesn't make you feel too confrontational which is fine. But I agree she'll probably drop the uniform round.

[phantomnamechanger]

if you want to drop the money or uniform off

so you just told her she can drop off the uniform, that she has ruined and you wont be able to use OR get a refund on???

[Justshabbynochic]

I think OP said she was fine with taking a loss, that she doesn't want to fall out with UT (Uniform Taker), but did we agree it was cheeky.

We've all agreed it's cheeky.

[WhatchaMaCalllit]

Just wondering what you'll do/say if she drops off the uniform & no money?

Good text msg though :-)

[epic78]

Let us know what she does op. Hope you get the money.

[softlysoftly]

Even if she hasn't shrunk it she should have tried it on before washing as that makes it unreturnable. Tell her that when she no doubt turns up with the useless uniform.

In fact take a look at it and say "yep no good for DS either now it better go to the school fete box, I'll just have to write the cost off"

Nice and PA makes her feel uncomfortable not like she's got away with something.

[Tenacity]

She will probably drop off the uniform, whilst laughing inwardly about how she's got away with it...

[Retroformica]

If it was new and unused, she should have returned it new and unworn so that you could return it and get your money back.

Can you text 'I've still got the receipt so should be able to return it to uniform shop if unworn' . Pretend you hadn't quite read all her mesg